Holliday eating tips

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Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet
table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see
carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum
balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-
malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt
scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink
up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as
if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a
treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you
think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of
your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk
or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a
sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to
control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is
to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.
This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the
buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of
eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position
yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before
becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of
shoes. If you leave them behind! , you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each.
Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin.
Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one
dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean,
have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the
party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.
Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather
to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other,
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what
a ride!"

 

lol. I just saw that the other day on another web site.

The only thing I don't worry about is dessert. I am usually so stuffed after gorging on turkey et al, the last thing I want is more food.

 

I tend to believe in the wisdom of Pooh -- and I quote,

"I will do more exercise, so I can eat more food."

Hence, if the purpose of exercise is to enable more ravenous eating it should be allowed.

 

ROTGLMAO!!!! Great advice!! I'll follow all of it except for tip #6, on this I agree with T2Bruno. Everyone enjoy the Chirstmas break!

 

11. Beware of the turkey. Not only is it stomach space wasted that could be better served with extra deserts, it also contains Triptophens (sp?) which may cause drowsiness. If you fall victim, you will miss out on the afternoon goodies...

 

yes, but when you wake you can eat more. without exersizing.

 

Funny stuff. Also, remember to avoid bread. That also takes up value space that could be occupied by real food.

By the way, I see that 'pumpkin pie' is mentioned above. Is that really a food? Is it sweet or savoury? I can't imagine a pie made from pumpkins.

 

But Arahar, What if the good stuff is all gone before you wake up? Better to load up on anything chocolate and be very alert whilst stuffing thy face like the aforementioned turkey...

 

Your hosts are not up to much if they actually run out of food. The golden rule for hosting Christmas parties is to always have far too much food.

 

You've never seen my family eat...

 

Are you sure? There was this special on hyena's on the Discovery Channel...

 

I have eaten a few pumpkin pies and it is not very tasty.

A real christmas dinner should have ham, sausages, ten differnet kinds of herring, meatballs, ribs, three kinds of cabbage, cheese, bread, salmon, smoked eel and a few other things. I dont like all of those things but they should darn better be there! As long as I dont have to involve myself in the preparations of course.

 

@joacqin: Where the hell is the 'julmust'?! (transl.?)

Quite sound tips, though.

 

Holiday Eating should be done following the same rules that are used for voting in the Chicagoland area: Early and often!

Enjoy the holidays all!

 

How could I forget that?! The julmust and the christmas beer! They are a must to the christmas dinner.

 

Now this is getting interesting. Hearing about the different foods that people around the world eat at Christmas. We've had the question-marks over the dubious sounding pumpkin pie, now we have the mystery of what exactly a 'julmust' is.

 

Julmust is Swedish sodapop which is only drunk during christmas. It is vaguely cola like in its taste but not really. It was designed as a substitute to the alcoholic "mumma" which was drunk during christmas by everyone. Coca Cola is tearing out their hair in their attempts of displacing julmust as softdrink of choice for christmas dinners.

 

We usually have a big pan of Lasagna made with moose meat instead of hamburger. That and a regular supply of junk food that we get under the tree...

 

I just the regular supply of junk food, a pizza or two, the usual christmas food and something else but I can't remember what.