Huntress of the Shadows (fantasy)

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hey peoples! this is my first attempt of writing a story outside of school (since year 6 lol). Its pretty bad compared to other stories... actually its pretty bad just by itself lol.
anyways critisism, comments, or questions are encouraged.
Its pretty slow moving, but there'll be some action in the next one...if there is a next one

well (hopefully) enjoy!

Prologue:

The spirit elves were a peculiar race, profound in tradition and cultured in the ancient ways of spirits and magic. Envied by many for their brilliant emerald eyes and fair skin, they had slim, sharp faces with long, pointed ears. This was complimented well with the beautiful delicate features of the common elves. Their hair ranged from dark shades of hay to sliver blond, darker hair was only present when inter breeding with the wood elves occurred.
There love for enchantment and nature remained even after the lost of the Great War, when most elven tribes travelled, with help of magic and the Gods, into the realm of Atensai. Tanbilo was not home for them as it had been so long ago…

The corruption and evil that evolved from mankind had caused a rupture in the Grand Alliance of elf and men, or so they were told. The greed and pride so profoundly possessed in the inner soul of men were finally unleashed. Their arrogance had led them to ally with the technologically advanced dwarfs and to betray their chief ally, the elves. The conquest of elven magic had begun, men had always sought the ancient secretes of the powerful enchantment and seek to claim their lands and magic. Before long a Great War broke out, a war which lasted many centuries. Led by men’s darkest, most corrupt leaders, the realm was filled with mayhem and chaos. Only in the end did the might of swords, shields and numbers proved prevailing. It was finally men who won the War.

The ancient magic of the elves were weaken and they sought refuge in another realm, leaving forever the world of Tanbilo. Only few tribes remained with profound hope of restoration of the old ways and the refurbishment of the natural lands and ancient magic.

Elusia’s kin, the spirit elves had lingered, along with a handful of tribes of wood and moon elves. They lived concentrated in the east of the human dominated realm. Despised by both men and dwarfs, the elves survived isolated from the world, only conversing with other elven tribes. It was in the sleepy village of Lanessin, which Elusia lived.

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Chapter 1

The yielding first light of the sun bathed the room in a golden aura waking a child from her deep slumber. Wrapped in several coatings of warm furs, she stirred and opened her vivid green eyes. The wooden room glimmered in the morning light, flaunting off the reddish, brown shimmer of the wooden floor. It was coupled with the equally beautiful glimmer of the delicate golden pattern faintly carved along the ancient fireplace. The contrasts of these two colours always fascinated her, the crimson red and gold auras; the colours of blood and the sun, it was surprising how these two could complement each other so well.

The shelter was ancient, made of dark wood that glistened in a dark reddish, brown gleam when the light reflected upon its smooth surface. Although small, the refuge gave a sense of serenity and comfort to the child. The sanctuary was simply decorated only with necessities and a few rare decorations. Apart from for the intricate unlit fireplace in the corner, everything else was of simple, natural, elven design. The two wooden beds were situated parallel to each other in one corner of the room; both were covered with several thick warm furs. A small basin in the other corner was attach high to the wall and was filled with the clearest of waters. When looked upon, the crystal blue liquid often reflected ones reflection. Candles, unlit hung from the ceiling in small decorated lanterns. Several small elven trinkets and toys were scattered about the dwelling.

The small girl leisurely unwrapped herself from the tangles of the layers of fur. It was still early spring and the room still felt chilly from the early morning frost. A gentle gust of wind swept in through the half open window and sent in an icy chill.

The door open as a tall man, cloaked in an elven robe walked into the room. The robe was adorned with stiches of silver and gold, which intensely rimmed the collar and the wrists. Its dark green shade gave emphasize and complemented the elf’s emerald eyes. He greeted the child with an adoring smile, his eyes flashing with glee.

“Good morning father.” The youngster said sheepishly with a yawn while stretching her arms.

He sat down on the bed and picked her up into a warm embrace, placing her onto his lap.

“Good morning Elusia. Still yearning for sleep? It is close to breakfast now” he replied with a wide grin, exposing the lines of age and wisdom on his face. He had the look of a middle aged man, but quite a striking one. His fair skin, which coupled well with his long dark golden hair. It was plainly pulled back off his face and secured with a leather band in an unelegant, simple manner. His large, sharp eyes gleamed bright, revealing a hint of liveliness about him. He was tall for one of his kind, towering over most folk.

“Get dress quickly now, for a special day awaits you” He said with an enigmatic smile.

“Special day? Why?” The child said with curiosity. Inquisitiveness was evident in her tone.

Meleth exploded in an ample grin, which extended a long way across his narrow face, “I will say no more”, he said casually. “The sooner you are dressed and at breakfast, the sooner you shall find out.”

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“It is your Serenbondil Elusia”, the ancient druid explained. Her mouth was still half full of the thick morning soup, which lightly spluttered onto the edge table.

Elusia’s eyes widen with anticipation. It was now that her destined role in nature was ultimately determined.

“When?! O’ Great Druid, I cannot wait! Is it after break-”

“Calm yourself child. The ceremony is tonight. This shall give you sufficient time to prepare and pray to the Gods for your desired destiny. Of course one is not always granted with their desired role, but you must be patient and ready to accept the role fate has decided for you”.

Elusia did not argue. She did not need time to pray for the training she wished to receive, she prayed every night for it. Since early childhood she had longed to be a great ranger, one like her father. She was forever fascinated by the speed and accuracy of her father’s bow and the ability to mingle with natural magic. His stealth and how he blended so well with the dark shadows, sinking deeply into the blackness, until imperceptible was masterful and she found that she profoundly yearned for such skills.

It was frequent for a child to take up the skills and role of either the mother or father; ones traits were often determined by a unique taint, which embodied the blood of the family. In her father’s family most had become the protectors of the woods. Elusia was sure her destiny was to become a great ranger.

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Meleth sat by his daughter’s side along the cool river. It had always been a place of tranquillity and refuge for the pair. Its clear crystal water was refreshing and the greenery around the shore was always a magnificent sight. The elusive melody of the wild birds captivated the two, sitting silently along the shore; both were listening to the soothing melody, but at the same time profound in thought.

Elusia played the process over and over again in her mind. She had witnessed the ceremony several times; numerous elves her age had been through the process.

Serenbondil was an ancient ceremony performed by the sprit elves. Unique to only them, the elves entrusted their course of life for the greater beings of spirits and Gods to determine. A specific spirit was chosen to guide them and to mark this a small tattoo of the spirit was engraved on the child’s right shoulder blade. After the ceremony, if required, the elf was placed with a master as an apprentice and spent years training to ultimately become what they were destined for. There were several destined roles; one of the most significant and powerful was the druid for only one or two elves in a village were capable of wielding the powerful, ancient magic of nature. It was believed that one could only wield magic if their ancestors were tainted themselves; it was believe to run in their blood. They often ended up as the head of the village for they were always ample with wisdom. From what Elusia could remember no one has been granted that position in the village yet. Although it wasn’t the druid -

Her thoughts were abruptly disturb by the sudden break of silence.

“Elusia, we should go and get you ready. The sun is setting. Your ceremony will begin soon”.

The sun was almost parallel to the horizon. The half sphere shaded its magnificent colours across the vast lands. The pair stood up and noiselessly made their way back to the elven village. No words could express their anticipation.

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As the Great druid raised her wrinkled hands, small ruin stones glowed. All were of different colours, with diverse ancient scripts written upon them. Each represented a distinct role. The stones contrasted stunningly with the darkness surrounding them. She chanted and her hands seemed to dance magnificently with the pounding rhythm of her hymn. The stones continued to glow vibrantly and all gradually elevated up in the air, ancient magic serving as a winch. She shifted her hands smoothly into an elusive pattern above her head. One by one each stone plummeted into the soft earth below.

Elusia held her breath as only two remained. The scripts were so faintly engraved on the ruins that she was unable to make out what each represented. One was of a green aura, which she was nearly certain it was the symbol of the ranger. The other glowed pale blue, she was not sure of what it represented.

Finally after what seem like an eternity of delay, a stone dropped. Elusia’s heart sank as the stone, which remained illuminated an azure aura.

“The Gods have spoken, young one. Your destiny was a battle of choices amongst the spirits. But it has been resolved, you shall be a Huntress.” The druid declared, her voice seem faint and tiresome.

Elusia sat bewildered in the faint moonlight, as she comprehended her thoughts in a silent realm in her mind, she begun to grasp the reality she was in. A huntress, she contemplated, she wanted to be a ranger, not a huntress. The hunter was such a common class among the people; she did not want to be like everyone else. A huntress was not a protector, they were did not share the magical abilities of a druid; they didn’t even wield the long bow. They were merely fighters, skilled with a sword, their role, only to hunt for the people. She did not wish for this; she wanted to be a protector, like Meleth.

“Huntress, your spirit shall be the great wolf. Who stands willing to take Huntress Elusia De’Visain as an apprentice?”

Elusia sat silently as the druid engraved the symbol of the hunter, the wolf on her right shoulder blade. The pain, which should have been there was numbed with the anger and daze she felt. There was silence, for most hunters in the village by now had an apprentice. She would not have a mentor, but she didn’t care.

“I will”, a figureless man in a dark cloak replied.

“Gotkai, the head hunter”, the druid answered, her tone with mere disbelief. “Are you sure of this task? Years of Elusia’s training will be your responsibility. You will become both her master and mentor.”

Gotkai sniggered, “I usually don’t take on apprentices unless I am sure of their future greatness. This one is favoured by the Gods. I will take her”.

“I see the gift of foresight you possessed has been of great use to you again my friend. Very well, Elusia you are to train under Gotkai as your mentor. He will train and guide you until he sees fit”.

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[ April 19, 2004, 15:54: Message edited by: Elusia ]

 

I LIKE it. The story flows nicely, setting it up for the crestfalling of the girl (btw, I love it when the author puts themself in the story). The bit at the end with the head-hunter really sets the story up nicely for a next installment. Let's see five please.
A few minor grammar and spelling mistakes. Oh, to prey is to kill something, to pray is... prayer. That could be fixed. I thought those elves were pretty bloodthirsty when I read that word for the first time...

 

Your story's good, few spelling mistakes but they can be fixed, would love to see more of this story.

 

thanks for the replies. the second chapter will be posted soon(hopefully)!!