I got a Problem...

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ok, here it is.. My girlfriend(who goes to a differant school than me) has an upcoming big dance. Someone from her school asked her to go to it..and she said yes. (forgot to mention u have to go to the school to attend so im out of the picture). I trust her that she will just go and dance like she said she would, but i just have this doubt. If i tell her I dont want her to go she's just going to say that i dont trust her..blah blah blah and well get into a fight. Does anyone here have any advice for me?

 

Do you trust her ? If yes, there shouldn't be any problem. If not, then you two shouldn't be together in the first place.

But it also wouldn't hurt to know who's taking your girl to the dance. If he's known to be a player, i WOULD have a problem with it. But i still wouldn't forbid her to go though, that's still her own choice.

 

I do trust her, I just have a doubt. I know who the kid is..well I know of him. Whats bothering me the most is that the kid is supposedly exactly like me..he talks like me acts like me..and looks like me. He also sees her everday bc they go to the same school..
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I wouldnt forbid her to go..Id just say that i wouldnt want her to.

 

As Pacman said there are two scenarios:

If she is trustworthy - then you have nothing to worry about

If she isn't - then she isn't worth worrying about.

Either way = "No worries, mate"

 

Well, just tell her that it kinda leaves you with an uncomfortable thought, she'll get the message. She could pick it up as seeing you act possesive, a little jeaulous perhaps, but she might also feel flattered.

 

Tried it, she picked it up as jelous..grr this is just my luck.

 

The important question to ask yourself is really, like the others said, do you trust her or not. I know this is sometimes not easy to answer. When I got together with my girlfriend four years ago she cheated on her boyfriend at that time, but with her relationship then being all messed up anyway. Do I trust her now with the knowledge that she has cheated before? Yes, I do because I love her, but that doesn't prevent my emotions to be exactly like yours now when she has a good time with another guy at a place or event I can't be. I wouldn't call it jealousy, but its this feeling that for me shows that you love her.

It would be a totally other issue if you could go and you refused and she therefore chose the other guy. Anyway I am pretty sure she will dance with that guy and think how far more cool it would be if you could be there instead dancing with her.

My advice:
Tell her to have fun and that you are happy that she found someone to go with.

 

I agree with Eaglearrow. You want her to have fun so wish her well and forget about it. If you express your distaste at her going, that solves nothing and here's why, imo:

1. She'll think you don't trust her, which could be very wounding to the relationship.

2. She may also think you're being overbearing and domineering, which, in the long run isn't any good. (I've dealt with that before.)

3. If she REALLY wants to see this guy, I'm assuming she doesn't need a dance to facilitate it.

4. And lastly....she may have no real interest in this other guy, but by you stamping your foot with displeasure, it may cause her to look at this other guy to see why you feel so threatened. I'm assuming you don't want that.

Anywho...that's my 2 cents. Trust her. Let her go have some fun.

 

Sounds like a jealous boyfriend.

Really, what is the problem? Trust here, trust there, all is well and other gibberish like that. Then, after a few, silly months she dumbs you like yesterday's rubbish, taking in a new, handsome boy that happens to look a lot like you and had a DANCE with her some months ago. Then they live happily forever like you and she would had, swarming the planet with little almost-like-Icingdeath45's.

 

You really don’t want your girlfriend to think that you are insecure, forget about her going even and don’t mention it to her after she goes, pretend like you don’t even know about it, don’t throw 20 questions.

 

Sarevok, that is more like letting her know that you don't care about what she is doing and not caring about her interests.

 

@ virne
lol thanks that really helps

 

No problem. The point was, that you either trust or not, and if you do, make sure you come home early every now and then -you might catch them from the act and start sharing some pain.

 

Not quite.

 

*grins* i feel like givin him some pain right now..it says i love you eric(who is not me) all over her live journal

 

"Him?" Only him? What kind of wussy are you? If it came to that, they BOTH should feel it in the arse of their being, preferably at the same time.

 

Ah now that would be more like it

 

rofl, Im noit gunna hurt a girl

 

Not even if you were the last one to know?

 

Still wouldnt, unless she like..murdered my family or something evil like that