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Immortal Tear

Discussion in 'Creativity Surge' started by Razal'dar, Mar 7, 2004.

  1. Razal'dar Gems: 6/31
    Latest gem: Jasper

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    Remove all ads!
    Hey guys. This is a poem that Poetry.com offered to publish. But these guys are a load of bull and they don't really care about poetry. They only care about making money. Either way i'd like your opinions.

    Immortal Tear

    A lonely dove lies still as earth,
    Devoid of all of nature's gifts.
    Departing to find the one he loved,
    In futile but beautiful blackened rifts.
    He perches upon an old headstone,
    Inscribed; "here doth lie the lonely soul".
    He ponders on love, all that it seems
    And continues to search for his love, his need.
    The years pass by, the dove grows old,
    Weary is his body, but his spirit ever bold.
    Still alone, he quests for hope,
    Deceiving nature and her sadistic joke.

    Alas, his final day arrives,
    The dove lies still, his life deprived.
    Nature's gaze and an eternal prize,
    The dove lies still, his soul destroyed.
    For sheltered by white wings of lead,
    Are crystal tears, that in final moments he did shed.
     
    Razal'dar, Mar 7, 2004
    #1

  2. Ancalìmon Gems: 14/31
    Latest gem: Chrysoberyl

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    wow... great stuff!
     
    Ancalìmon, Mar 7, 2004
    #2

  3. Razal'dar Gems: 6/31
    Latest gem: Jasper

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    Cheers thanks very much.
     
    Razal'dar, Mar 7, 2004
    #3

  4. Amatorius Gems: 3/31
    Latest gem: Lynx Eye

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    [​IMG] How very generous of them :rolleyes:

    This is definitely a poem worthy of better things than poetry.com. Just thought I'd say that.

    Also thought I'd say this is a great poem, interesting subject and good word flow.
     
    Amatorius, Mar 24, 2004
    #4

  5. Eaglearrow Gems: 4/31
    Latest gem: Sunstone

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    [​IMG] Razal'dar,

    this is very, very good. For me it taps at the lifetime struggle to find the one significant-other out there, who one is sure of exists.
     
    Eaglearrow, Mar 24, 2004
    #5
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