LG enV3/Keybo2 FULL REVIEW

Remove all ads!

No longer a mini-review, I had enough time to play with the phone, and it's time to deliver some verbal abuse.

Signal: I mentioned how much the enV3 sucks, right? Well, even updating the PRL (which I did twice, by the way) did squat. Might as well consider this one a pure 1XRTT phone, because EVDO is WORTHLESS in my flat. The f'''''' phone itself says it: "EVDO: No Service". What a piece of s***. While EVDO is non-existent in my flat, 1XRTT fares sub-par (when benched against other Telus 1XRTT phones, the enV3's performance was lackluster at best) well. I can make and hold calls in my flat just fine, but forget data.

Battery: ~4ish days, and that was using the MP3 player (MORE on this Hell forsaken piece of garbage later). The piece of garbage takes half of eternity to charge, too.

Form factor: This phone is like a dwarf -- short and wide. Dig this, if you get a call while the phone is flipped open, unless one has tweaked the options, you got to hold the OPENED PHONE TO YOUR F****** EAR. THIS IS GAR-B*TCH!

Camera: Not much that I haven't already said. It does the job just fine, and unless you happen to be a techno-moron who has to have all the latest gadgets like a f****** 129846092814698216498126498126948619MP cam, or a 32109749849832658632 core processor, with 94873256329856843059865 GB of RAM and all the f****** bulls***, it will do the job just fine. If you're one of those morons, then why in the f****** hells are you reading a DUMBPHONE review?

Oh yeah, the MP3 player... well, where do I begin? First, it's F******* JAVA. On a SMARTPHONE, JAVA is ACCEPTABLE, but JUST BARELY. On a stupid slow-as-molasses DUMBPHONE, IT F***** SUCKS! This piece of garbage took half of eternity to find my 292 songs, and don't get me started about adding then to my "library". I am so disgusted and pissed off at this BLOATWARE GARBAGE that I am seriously considering FLASHING the F*****. But wait, it gets better... if you want to listen to a song again, press the REWIND KEY once and it will return at the beginning of the track, right? WRONG. Not only to you have to MANUALLY rewind the song (reminds anybody of cassette tapes?). Being slow as molasses, the phone does not react to the first input... whatever you do, DON'T LET GO of the button, OR YOU'RE SCREWED, and you DON'T WANT to go back to the Library to pick a different song. The Verizon version -- the enV3 -- has the same problem, same old garbage music player who blows a goat that's been dead under the sun for two weeks of 40+ degrees temperature in Mexico.

Bottom line: The enV3 SUCKS. As a texting phone, it's okay... but the CDMA network blows, it is NOTORIOUS for SMS arriving like days later, or not at all.

As for my part, I'm calling Bell tomorrow to get my HSPA phone unlocked. Then I'm going to do the rest of the my contract on the HSPA network. There's nothing iDEN does that HSPA cannot do, except DC, but I no longer use it, and it's not even included in my monthly package.

 

Wow...I'm impressed. Mind you, I'm always impressed with things with lots of capital letters. Especially when I can't understand it! lol

 

Whoops

CDMA (and EVDO, an upgrade), and iDEN are two different network standards. Both networks have respective advantages and disadvantages, without falling in the technical details, I personally prefer iDEN.

800MHz & 1900MHz are the frequencies used by the phone to transmit/receive to/from the closest base station. The enV3 uses the CDMA protocol at both frequencies. For the end user, this translates into a better, stronger signal. I bash the Bell network because it's 1900MHz only... reception is not as good since 800MHz is absent.

You might not be familiar with CDMA, since it's used in a handful of countries. On your side of the globe, GSM was the main standard, same with it's replacement HSPA and LTE, a future upgrade.