Modern Morals Part 2: It's only bad when they see you

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Part one was about cheating on people and the fine art of excuses. Part two goes deeper into the subject. Now our focus is guilt.

I think an example would serve the best. So, here's my example:

A guy I know and his girl who is now referred to in past tense. Another girl, whom I also know.

The guy went into naughty talking with the other girl and it evolved through playful talks into mostly unserious flirt which begat a mostly unserious cyber romance. The tragicomic touch is in the fact that it occured not so unserious when it came to his mind how the girl had been collecting guys on the net. The rest of the background is here.

My suspicions proved true, the guy got obsessed with the other girl. Being 26, he got to behave like half that age, of course without realising that. In short: Smeagol seemed a free spirit next to him.

Which is very commendable of her, his fiancee packed her bags and left him to the mess he made.

Yes, we're getting to the point now:

Before it happened, he firmly insisted that no harm was being done to his fiancee as she didn't know about anything.

Now it occurs that someone told his fiancee about his chatroom conquests, adding a lot of stuff from his or her own imagination. However, the guy doesn't seem to have much of a problem with large parts of that being made up. The main axis of his problem is that it "came out". And so he blames that mysterious person for the break-up. He kept going on and on about what he would do to the guy (he assumed it was a guy) if he got him in his hands..... which didn't preclude him from telling straight away that only the other girl counts now. Which, apparently, doesn't seem to him to have any problem with his prior defensive claim (made an hour before) that the flirt was only a joke and they were just friends and therefore he was not in any bit guilty towards his fiancee.

I know that he was not telling the whole truth and in some points lying as even the whole talk was initiated by him in order to check if I wasn't going to compete and if he could get any information from me that would be useful in laying her (I had met the girl once and talk a lot with her), as he put it. BTW, "just having sex with her" didn't contradict "only she counts now". I sent him to the Nine Hells when he asked if she was easy or if she needed to be made drunk first before laid (again, no problem with "I have fallen in love with her" in some other place, as well as "love makes me explode") and so our conversation ended.

I can understand how someone who cares so little for any truth or consistency would care so much about any judgment, being believed not guilty by people and so on.

Apparently, though, it's only I who see any problem at all in all that, for he sees none. The closest thing I got from him was "let's not get back to her" [the fiancee].

I admit I used Battle Logic, Improved Interrogation and Power Inference, so he was bound to tell facts without building a full and consistent picture first. Granted. Nonetheless, facts are as they are. Plus, I neither accused him nor preached anything about morals, just telling him that what happened was a clear logical result of his actions and that no one else was to blame - so justifying and excusing was his own business, not mine. To no surprise, pointing that out didn't help anything.

End of example.

I could give one or two more, for a more balanced view, but I've already taken lots of space. Plus, this is a very representative one - more black and white and clean cut than most situations that happen in life.

Conclusion:

It's only bad when they see you. Whatever makes you feel better, is good. Whatever puts your argument through, is a fact. If it's exclusive with or opposite to your other argument, you "ah right, see it in a different light now".

Abstract reflection: contradictions seem very logical in this system. One has to roll will save vs Catchy Bull**** or believe the speaker for 10 rounds.

Abstract reasoning:

1. The guy went on about "punishing" the bastard.
2. The guy even mentioned punishment for his fiancee (I frankly fail to see for what)

Therefore, he does have some strong sense of justice. No wrong going unpunished etc.

Later, he went into punishing [the other girl] for another woman.

Chevalier: How do you classify it as punishment if it's not for something she has done?

The guy: One woman will be punished for all.

The guy is 26. University education and stuff. Something hurts him, so someone has to pay for that. Anyone. Doesn't matter. Someone must be punished because he feels bad. Hmm...

Later, he says something about "using her" and "will she just go to bed or will I have to get her drunk first"... while still having his sense of justice deeply offended and himself feeling deeply and unjustly hurt because someone told his fiancee about his romances, which lead to break-up (good for the fiancee IMHO).

Conclusion: It doesn't really matter who is guilty. Someone has to pay. Plus, it's a different matter if you do things. Doing more fishy things doesn't bar you from calling heaven's wrath upon those who do unto you something that you don't like.

Conclusion of Modern Morals Part 2: It's only bad when they see you. What's wrong when someone else does it, is perfectly all right when you do it. If you're hurt, you have every right to hurt someone else. Everything that makes you feel better is right.

 

This is probably true and not overly surprising. A corrolary to your conclusion can be that everyone always views their own actions in the best possible light. Of course, that's not news, it's just human nature.

For example, do you know many people who would characterize themselves as "bad" or at least "below average" drivers? By definition half of all drivers on the road are below average. Yet almost everyone I know consider themselves to be an above average driver. Everyone likes to think more highly of themselves than other people regard them, and nobody likes to be told that they are wrong or inferior in any way, despite the fact that everyone (myself included) has been wrong, and inferior to some other people in some aspect almost every day of their lives.

 

I am a crappy driver.