My Songs

Remove all ads!

I'm not sure if this is the right forum but over the past couple of months i've written a few songs and would appreciate some feedback. This could be a long post
I apoligize for the CAPS LOCK in some of them but i use notepad and it helps me to type quicker.

This is the first song i wrote and at the time i was pretty depressed, which probably shows.

Chorus:
I look for sympathy
But all I get are points and stares
And worthless empathy
Because no-one cares

But maybe out there
Someone cares
Or maybe it’s just another hopeless dream
Sometimes I just want to stand and scream.

Chorus:
I look for sympathy
But all I get are points and stares
And worthless empathy
Because no-one cares

Once or twice I had dreams
But I always woke up
Into the nightmare of my life
So I just keep on singing.

Chorus

I thought I had friends
I thought they‘d help
But they just blame me
Cos no-one cares that it’s not my fault.

Chorus

Now people don’t listen to the music
They just mock me
And throw their shit at me
Why me, (slower) Why me.

Chorus 2
I still look for sympathy
Still they just give me points and stares
But maybe there’s a better place
Maybe out there

That’s where I’m a gonna go
They gave me some pills
Told me they’d take me to a better place
Where there are green hills
And no-one mocks you.


Chorus 2

I put them in my mouth
But I’m still here
Sitting on a street corners singing this song
There is no better place just here and now.


I look for sympathy
But all I get are points and stares
And worthless empathy
Because no-one cares
No-one cares about one guy
Sitting on the corner
On a one-way ride to hell
Maybe there is a better place somewhere
But there ain’t no way to get there.
We are here and now
But no-one cares
If you live, if you die
No-one cares
When you die and you look for them pearly gates
But all you can see is a fast one-way ride to hell.
Cos even hell is a better place than here
But no-one cares
No-one cares.


This is Bring Me Back from the Dead and is rather morbid.

BRING ME BACK FROM THE DED
DON'T LEAVE ME OUTSIDE AND GO
BRING ME BACK
DON'T GO
BRING ME BACK
DON'T GO

THERES A BULLET IN THE GROUND
AN EMPTY LIFE, AN EMPTY ROUND
THERES A HOLE IN MY CHEST
NOW I LIE IN REST
BUT NOT IN PEACE

BRING ME BACK FROM THE DED
DON'T LEAVE ME OUTSIDE AND GO
BRING ME BACK
DON'T GO
BRING ME BACK
DON'T GO

THE GRASS GROWS
I'M ON DEATH ROW
THEY PUT ME IN THE GRAVE
I WANNA BE SAVED
I WANNA BE SAVED

BRING ME BACK FROM THE DED
DON'T LEAVE ME OUTSIDE AND GO
BRING ME BACK
DON'T GO
BRING ME BACK
DON'T GO

I GOT NOWEHERE TO GO
BUT YOU TURNED AND LEFT SO
I GOT NO PLACE TO FLY
I'M JUST HERE BENEATH THE SKY
NO PEACE FOR ME

BRING ME BACK FROM THE DED
DON'T LEAVE ME OUTSIDE AND GO
BRING ME BACK
DON'T GO
BRING ME BACK
DON'T GO


This is Iced Wackos and is entirely abstract. I was just playing with words for most of it.

INTRO-

COLD FIRE TOUCHES MY NECK
I WANT TO SCREAM
BANANANANANANAS PUSH IT BACK
I WANT TO DREAM
THE SNAP OF THE SILENCE
I WANT TO WALK
WHO IS MR.AMBIENCE?
I WANT TO TALK
THE DIRT IS CLEAN
I WANT A SOUL
THAT DONE, THERE BEEN
I NEED A SOUL
HIT THE BRICKS
I WANT YOU
WITH SHARP STICKS
I NEED YOU
THE FASTER I GO THE SLOWER I GET
BUT YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET

-END INTRO

TURN ME IN
SIDE OUT
SIDE IN
IT MESSES WITH MY MIND
AM I TOO CRUEL TO BE KIND?

THE FURTHER YOU GO
THE FURTHER YOU RETURN
SUCH A WASTE OF TIME
SUCH A WASTE
BUT NOT ON A POGO STICK
LIGHTER THAN A BRICK
BOUNCIER THAN CHEESE
THEY WERE MADE TO PLEASE

TURN ME IN
SIDE OUT
SIDE IN
IT MESSES WITH MY MIND
AM I TOO CRUEL TO BE KIND?

EVERYTHING TASTES LIKE CHICKEN
CHICKEN TASTES LIKE EVERYTHING
IF WE'D KNOWN THAT BACK THEN
WE'D NEVER HAVE LEFT HOME
THE SECRETS OF LIFE IN THE FRIDGE
BUT NO-ONE TELLS THE KIDZ
YOU LIVE AND LEARN
YOU DIE AND FORGET
FORGET WHAT YOU LEARN
WHEN YOU LIVE TO DIE

TURN ME IN
SIDE OUT
SIDE IN
IT MESSES WITH MY MIND
AM I TOO CRUEL TO BE KIND?

DO WE LEARN TO DIE
DO WE LIVE TO FORGET
THE ETERNAL REGRET
BONES THAT FRY
THE PIXIES STOLE MY CASH
I HAVE A NERVOUS RASH
I TRIED TO RUB IT BETTER
BUT IT JUST GETS WETTER
.........
SUCK IT DRY!


Written at the same time as the previous 2 is This and That


I RIDE THE HIGH
I SINK THE LOW
HIGHER THAN THE SKY
LOWER THAN YOU BRO
FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY
THEN I SINK WITHOUT A TRACE
COS I COULDN'T KEEP UP WITH THE PACE

WHO REMEMBERS US WHEN WE'RE GONE
I DON'T WANNA GO
DON'T LET ME GO
I DON'T WANT TO TURN AROUND
TO FIND MYSELF GONE
I'D NEVER LEAVE
BUT YOU SENT ME AWAY
THIS AND THAT
WAS I SUCH A PRATT?

SORRY FOR WHAT I SAID
SORRY FOR WHAT I READ
SORRY FOR WHAT WAS LEFT UNDONE
SORRY FOR WHAT I DID WRONG
SORRY FOR THIS
AND SORRY FOR THAT
BUT SORRY'S JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH ANYMORE

DID I THINK THINGS WOULD GO THIS WAY?
WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I SAY?
I'M TO AND FRO AND BACK AGAIN
THE EMPTY WHOLE IN THE EMPTY FRAME

I DRAG AND DROP, PUSH AND PULL
BUT NEVER FIND A WHOLE TO FILL
WHERE DO I GO NOW
TAKE YOUR BOW
FOR LIFE SMASHES 'ROUND ME
BY YOUR HOLY DECREE
MY SOUL CRASHES AND BURNS
MY BODY TWISTS AND TURNS
HOW DO YOU 'POUT'?
I NEED TO GET OUT

SORRY FOR WHAT YOU SAID
SORRY FOR WHAT YOU READ
SORRY FOR WHAT WAS LEFT UNDONE
SORRY FOR WHAT YOU DID WRONG
SORRY FOR THIS
AND SORRY FOR THAT
BUT SORRY'S JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH ANYMORE

WHO ARE YOU TO TALK?
WHEN I CAN BARELY WALK
YOU SHOUT AND SCREAM
IT BRAKES MY DREAM
IN THEM I DWELL
I WISH I COULD SPELL
WISHING ON A BURNING STAR
THE FIRE BURNS FROM AFAR
DO I DESERVE THIS?
JUST TAKES THE PISS

SORRY FOR WHAT I SAID
SORRY FOR WHAT I READ
SORRY FOR WHAT WAS LEFT UNDONE
SORRY FOR WHAT I DID WRONG
SORRY FOR THIS
AND SORRY FOR THAT
BUT SORRY'S JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH ANYMORE
BECAUSE YOUR NOT THERE ANYMORE
WHEN I'M NOT THERE IT'S LIKE I'M GONE
WOOOOHOOOOO THE END OF THIS DIRE SONG


I built on one line from this song to write the unfinished opening Burning Star


I'M WISHING ON A BURNING STAR
BURNS ME FROM AFAR
I DIDN'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN
I DIDN'T WANT IT THEN
I DON'T WANT IT NOW
I'M WISHING ON A BURNING STAR
MELTS ME FROM AFAR
I NEVER WANTED TO HURT YOU
I DIDN'T WANT TO THEN
I DON'T WANT TO NOW
I'M WISHING ON A BURNING STAR
BLINDS ME FROM AFAR
I WANT TO SEE WHAT I SAW BEFORE
I WANTED TO THEN
I WANT TO NOW
I'M WISHING ON A BURNING STAR
LETS ME SEE YOU FROM AFAR

JUMP AWAY
FLY TO PLACES WE'VE NEVER BEEN
AND PLACES WE'VE NEVER SEEN
GO WITHOUT ME
LEAVE ME BEHIND
I'LL WAIT HERE
IN MY OWN FEAR
RUN AWAY


This is self explanatory - Hate

You hate me
You hate me for who i am and what i was
You hate me for what i did and what i said
You hate me for who you were and what you became
You hate me for what i know

Does your hate know limits
of the grey clouds of your mind?
Did i set it free?
Or do you open the cage?

You took back what you said
and tried to hide the truth
then you tear it all away
Give me the lies
Give me the mis-truths
I can't handle reality

It changes from day to day
From high to low but always hate
How did i get caught up in this fray?
Pack me up in a crate
Send me off to the city
I don't want your pity
Now give me the lows
Give me the dips
I can't handle the high doze
Now it tears and rips

Does it change at all?
Or does it just move
I live in apall
But what does that prove?

This only says the lies
Of another day of pain
Send me away so i cries
Then snatch me back again
I turn round so i fall
But the torment doesn't stop
I stand short and tall
One day we learn why we drop
When we do we stand and glare
No-one believes the truth
It messes up your hair
Theres a hill on that booth
It collapses around me
The world is gone
But still it's out to get me, us, you, him, her, IT!
It's out there
Round every corner of the circle
Every bend in the square
It knows what it is
But we live amongst our lies
We turn to the radio
But it blows up in our face
The fastest race
is never started
Because it'll always get you..
HATE!


And last another morbid song which i wrote only this afternoon. It is titled Grey at the moment but this may change.


THE TEARS OF MY PAIN
THE SUN DRIES THEM OUT
ALL IN VAIN
ALL FOR NOWT

TAKE ME OUT OF THIS MOOD
TAKE ME OUT OF MYSELF
I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE
BUT I GOT NO HEALTH
AND I DON'T MEAN TO GO
BUT NOTHING MORE TO SAY
NOW THAT YOU'VE SAID 'NO'
THE WORLD IS GREY

THE TEARS OF MY PAIN
THE SUN DRIES THEM OUT
ALL IN VAIN
ALL FOR NOWT

IF YOUR NOT WITH ME
THEN WE'RE FOES
CAN YOU NOT SEE?
FLIGHT OF THE CROWS
CROSS MY SKY OF DOOM
LOCKED DOWN IN THIS TOMB
I CAN'T SEE ANYMORE
BUT WHAT WOULD I SEE FOR
YOUR NO LONGER THERE
AND MY DEATH IS NEAR

THE TEARS OF MY PAIN
THE SUN DRIES THEM OUT
ALL IN VAIN
ALL FOR NOWT

WOLF ON THE PROWL
LEARNS THE HOWL
RUNS WITH THE PACK
BUT THEN IT CRACKS
FORGETS THE PREY
IT'S WORLD TURNS GREY

THE TEARS OF MY PAIN
THE SUN DRIES THEM OUT
ALL IN VAIN
ALL FOR NOWT

THE WOLF HAS DIED
PEACE DENIED
TO THOSE WHO ARE GREY
WE ARE THE PREY
WHEN OUR WORLD TURNS GREY
AND YOUR DEATH IS NEAR
YOUR THE HUNTED PREY
RUNNING LIKE A HARE
BUT THERES NO ESCAPE
WE DIED AN AGE AGO
GREY DEATH IS OUR FATE
WHEN YOU SAID 'NO'

THE TEARS OF MY PAIN
THE SUN DRIES THEM OUT
ALL IN VAIN
ALL FOR NOWT

I'M IN THIS WORLD OF GREY
HUNTED NIGHT AND DAY
DEATHS NO RELEASE
THERES NO PEACE
FOR WE ARE GREY
AND WE ARE PREY
LIFE IS DEATH
IN DEATH WE LIVE AGAIN
AND DIE AGAIN AND AGAIN
IN THE PAIN
OF THIS TOMB
THAT IS OUR DOOM

WHEN YOUR WORLD TURNS GREY
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY
BECAUSE YOU SAID 'NO'
THEN MY WORLD TURNED GREY
NOW I'M PREY
BECAUSE YOU SAID 'NO'
AND MY WORLD TURNED GREY
I'VE GOT NOTHING TO SAY
THE DEAD WHO DIE
WE CAN'T FLY AWAY
FROM THIS PLACE OF GREY
BECAUSE
BECAUSE
BECAUSE YOU SAID 'NO'


Thank you to anyone who has read all the way down to the bottom. Any feedback would be great

 

For those we hate me. or just don't care
for those who love me, or just don't dare,
live your live enjoy the lie,
as I take of to fly...

Your work goes pretty deep, I like that...

 

I like these texts...
They remind me of some of Megadeths songs
They are good, very deep, sad-
calming
Well, anyway if you are going to put some music to these texts I would think that rockballads or something would be good.
That's my opinion
Listen to Megadeth, think about their texts.

 

New song written today. Decided to change from the rhyming style of my previous songs to write this one. No Escape

There’s no escape
You can't run from this place
There’s no more running
No more running

When your backs to the wall
And they're closing in
You've got to turn and draw
The fire inside you
Burns with delight
Your going to give them
One hell of a fight

All around you is death
You've got another chance
Living again
Killing the pain
The bodies pile up
And the blood flows down
But on you go
And on they come
The struggle of death for life
The fight to get out
because there's no more running
No more running

It's you and you alone
You turn and strike
And the Death flows
The blood in your veins
Can never be spilt
You've got to keep on going
Got to keep killing
‘Cos there’s no more running
No more running away

But your still here
And here you'll stay
There's no escape
Your in hell
Living in the fires
Killing the Dead
But your still here
And here you'll stay
There's no other way
There's no escape
From this place
Of Death and Decay

 

You can escape from hell If you can find the portal! Ask the demon chick in the second room, and be sure that you have the fork and the flask of lava. Now talk to Satan again, he shall give you information, if you give him the flask, now talk to the demon chick again and, wait a sec, this wasn't the question, was it?

I liked the song !

 

Can i put some of my sh*t here? I'd like some feedback too is that ok lazy bonzo?

 

That's fine by me Sniper. Anyone who wants to post their lyrics here for feeback is welcome.

I have no idea what i was thinking about when i got this song pop into my head but i wrote it down. It's kind of a short rap (i got bored half-way through) but with a lot of bass and drums and a more mettalish sound.

The hackers are tracking
cos you been cracking
And they gonna find out
Where you are
Where you stay
Where you go

But if i had a buck i'd go away
And if i had 2 i'd stay
But i don't got no nuttin
And that's the way it stays

 

Something is awakening

VERSE
Something is awakening
Inside of me
Its Burning and its hurting
Causing me agony

Guess I don’t like that kid much
Trying it on with my girl
Gives me such a head rush
Doesn’t know his peril

CHORUS
The devil has arisen from within
Hatred is poring through my skin
My form is now distorted
My former self is aborted
I now radiate an aura of malice
I shall now do myself justice
My arm ever reaching
To stop him breathing

VERSE
Infusing me with power
Surging right through me
I shall make him cower
Eliminating the purity

Suppressing my sanity
Burning all things good
Expanding my Insanity
Utterly destroying my mood

CHORUS x 1

BRIDGE
But this darkness that consumes me
Shall put my relationship in agony
Straining all the strings
And all the lovemaking
But it must be done
So I can banish him
To the tormented plane
From whence he came

CHORUS x 2
(Infuse me)
(Save me)