Need some serious feedback on this.

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This is going to be a long post. So be warned before you start reading.

I was, up untill recently, a long time member of a roleplaying site online. Its the kind where you write what your character does and post it, and then the others in the thread posts back. Great fun. It was based on a very popular fantasy setting. I was there for about 5 years, and I was an OP in the site`s chatroom. Wich is pretty much the reason why I quit.

About a year ago a 14 year old girl from the chtroom messages me and tells me that she is afraid of one of the other members, and that the guy she is talking about has raped her and taped it. Pretty much a horrible tale. I naturally log this and save it onto my comp. Thinking I should talk to some other OP`s about it before I do anything rash. Wich was a good call because the next day the girl (lets call her Betty) is flirting shamelessly with the guy she has just accused of rape (going to call him bob from now on). Instead of doing anything I just let it go. Its obvious that the chic lied to me anyway.

Then a year later she blurts out that she has to pop out of the chatroom for abit, since she is about to have phone sex with someone. that someone was one of the other OP`s. a 25 year old bloke (I think thats his age), the bloke bragged slightly about it on msn messenger to me so she wasn`t telling a lie that time. Anyway a huge "thing" happens in the chatroom wich ends with Bob getting permanently banned from the site and the chatroom. For sexuall harassment aparantly. This time Betty has been sending nude pics of herself to guys in the chatroom, including Bob and the Phonesex bloke. Now Bob has deleted his pics and asked if she could send them to him anew. This she logged and handed over to the administrators of the site to get him removed, for reasons unknown. So he kept bugging her for pics, reason enough for a ban, no argument there. BUT since she had been telling lies about him earlier, accusing him of rape etc when it was obvious bull****, the admins shouldn`t really have belived her. Don`t get me wrong Bob was a bigtime slimer and having him removed was a relieff to everyone. But the admins continued their witchunt and actually named Bob on the site as a sexuall harasser, right there in public for all to see. And all this on information given to them by a notorious liar........

Naturally I think this is abit wrong, and a slight abuse of power on the administrator`s part. I bring up the issue that the chic is 15 years old, ergo a kid technically. And that one of the OP`s (close friend of the administrators by the way) had phone sex with her AND has gotten the same pictures of her that Bob got. So if one gets banned so should the other. The administrators now wants loggs of things they can pin on the OP in question (OP = chatroom operator by the way), and that I should get those, not them. I do that and I find out even more. I have one lady who had cyber sex with said person years back, and he is now threathening to send the logs of it to her husband. The lass was in tears when she told me this. the OP guy also sendt out logs of private conversations he had had with his ex gf (also a site member) when she broke up with him. A lame way to take "revenge" really. This pissed me off more than a little. Especially since all this is not enough to get the guy spanked, even when liar Betty got a less popular fellow banned on pretty much her word alone.
I push it of course, demanding that the bloke gets banned. And all I get back is that I am a trouble maker and should keep my mouth shut. that nobody wants to hear anything about it and so on. Wich is really frustrating as well, since I only did what I was told to do. The asked me to get loggs and stuff and I did. There is alot more crap about this than I wrote down here as well, but I don`t have the energy to write it all down. I did however tell everyone off in the chatroom while being drunk (norwegian you know....viking blood...).

So anyway what I am curious about here is this. Am I the nutcase here? And is it even legal to have a site where tha OP`s or administrators get to have phone sex with 15 year olds?
This is really getting to me I must admit. I wouldn`t have posted this otherwise.

Hope for some constructive feedback.

thanks in advance.

 

Rawgrim, you're not the nutcase. This is the kind of thing that gives computer communities the terrible reputation they enjoy (!) in so many quarters.

As to legality, no idea. Wouldn't be legal n the U.S. And the feds love to go after people who use computers to sexually exploit minors, so it's terribly risky to do so. Just the other day I read about a high school student facing federal charges because of alleged kiddy porn found on his computer. In the U.S. it is the adult always at fault - no matter how seductive the minor acts, the law presumes (rightly, IMHO) that the adult is the one who must exercise the judgment and self control to avoid sexual exploitation.

I don't know the law where you are, and it may all be complicated by the international nature of internet communities - I'm no lawyer, thank heavens. But I urge you to document everything, and back up your documentation, and get away, far away, from that site and never go back, ever. No matter how much fun you had on it. It's not worth the risk.

Finally, in the U.S., because of the line of work I am in, I am what is called a "mandated reporter." That means if I have direct knowledge of any kind of abuse of a child or other vulnerable person (mentally handicapped, elderly, physically handicapped, etc.) I am required by law to report it and am subject to criminal prosecution if I do not. I do not know what your situation is in Norway, but beware if there is mandated reporting that covers your profession - you may be breaking the law by not reporting it.

Bottom line: you're the only one in this situation with his head on halfway straight. Document, get out and stay out, and if the law requires it, report.

 

Virtual sex doesn't really count as sex, although it already qualifies as a sexual activity and is thus normally illegal with minors. Asking her for pics would be illegal here and most probably illegal anywhere civilised. The problem is age. Norwegian age of consent is 14 years. I suppose the girl was younger then that when it began, no?

Anyway, let's look at a translation of the Norwegian criminal code:

Virtual sex would be an act of indecency (unless there's something very, very weird in the way they interpret this in Norway), but if she's older than 14 years, no luck. However, there's a lesser penalty for under 16 years of age, which she still is:

The juicy part is:

So no bull**** talk to explain it away.

If you want something more specifically matching virtual sex:

Possessing her nude pics or giving her one's own is illegal:

Additionally, if she's spreading her nude pics around, her parents are obviously not really performing the parental duty right. That's punishable. Look:

Blackmail is also illegal. In some laws, it's illegal to circulate such defamatory things even without any blackmail connection and even if they are real (such as here). Her own actions in the defamatory department qualify for juvenile court or whatever equivalent exists in the place. Here:

And:

Voila, even thruthful allegations are punishable if they lack a respectable reason for spreading around.

Well, criminal codes are pretty much the same anywhere on the continent, it seems. Of course, I'm assuming we're talking about a Norwegian forum. Quotes are for informative purpose - a translation is not normative. Here's the link: link

I suggest going not even to the cops but to the public prosecutor perhaps, if it's the same country you live in. If abroad, just find a way to inform the right authorities.

[ January 14, 2007, 00:38: Message edited by: chevalier ]

 

Ohh its not a norwegian siite\chatroom its an american one. And all the people I mentioned above are also americans.
I kind of threathened to spill my guts about it on the site, letting people know exactly whats going on there, but Igot met with cold shoulders and warnings not to do so........Its classic really. A bunch of people knowing full well something is wrong, but closing their ears and eyes to it.

 

I tell you what, bollocks to all of it pal. This is ALL one sicko situation, I would have no part of it. Leave all the paedophiles, perverts and saddos to their sick and twisted little 'internet lifes'. Get out of it, stay out and think yourself better for it. Bollocks to all that mate.

 

I did leave the chatroom after going on a drunken rant about it in october I think it was. I still pop into the site on occation though, just to see whats going on. I got loads of fond memories of the place, wich is why its nagging me so much that things went like they did.

 

I have to agree with BA on this. While the whole situation stinks to high hell, what are you going to do about it exactly? Stay out of the situation mate.

 

Yeah I did distance myself from it severely. But I still have a nagging feeling that I should have done more about it.
That people get away with things like that really bothers me. The guy didn`t even get a warning or anything like that.

 

Am I the only one who wonders why phone and cyber sex seem appealing to some people ...

 

If I was you - I wouldn't get any more involved with it. I would certainly not report it to anyone (unless you can get screwed over for not doing so). If people want to be dodgy like that - let them - it's not your concern and it's not really hurting anyone (well - not in any way that they really should see coming if they're distributing nude photos of themselves...).

 

IMO that situation is quite sick, no matter how good the site is I would never really be able to just relax knowing that stuff like that goes on there. If I were you I would just delete the bookmark and never go back, if only just to avoid any incrimination in whatever has/will happen.

 

Rawgrim, "phone sex" with a minor counts as lascivious conduct with a minor and therefore is open to a sexual exploitation charge.

Yes, it's maddening that the minor involved seems so willing to put herself in danger. But that's the point of having laws about these things - adolescents don't have well-developed judgment and act on impulse and are going through a necessary developmental stage of experimentation and defiance. So some of them need protection from their own foolish behavior.

If it's an Amrican site all kinds of bad consequences can occur to the adults involved. But I admit that there are so many chatrooms and so much sordid behavior in them that the odds against prosecution are probably good.

All the more reason for you to get out and stay out. I sympathize with your good memories. It's disappointing to have it spoiled for you by the behavior of these, ah, people, for lack of a polite term. But there it is: it's spoiled now, no matter what, and for your own protection you must stay away. American feds love to go overseas and nab people for headlines. Don't join the lineup.

 

duffin and BA are right, get out while you can, do not return - sites and people like this are the poison of the internet.

as for the girl though, sounds to me like she has some mental problem concerning her sexual over drive, if you do say anything i would suggest you tell her to seek professional help. it could be the situation where some past event has caused her to be like this, i know of women who have been abused as children and have turned out like this.

 

Yeah, stay away from that girl. Stay very far away. In fact give her somebody else to bother. Here, give her my phone number, so she can 'bother' me. I'll make sure all that pent up sexual energy is released in an orderly fashion...

But seriously, get out, stay out, keep transcripts if you are worried about being liable for anything but apart from that have nothing more to do with the site.

Although it's not common to find this type of thing happening it also isn't surprising, no matter how young a girl is. She will eventually discover there's nothing in this but I guess everyone has their own ways of having fun.

 

No constructive feedback on my part, just saying again what everyone is: stay away. kudos to you for trying to do something about this but I'd just stop going to the site. if the admins can't be bothered to do anything about it then they're probably not people you want to be chatting/posting with anyway. I find this disturbing

 

Disturbing is a word that springs to my mind as well.....

 

I would still drop the cops a line. Nothing wrong doing that if what people are doing is actually harmful to themselves or others.

 

Does the website have a privacy statement? If it does, the police can't really do anything without a warrent. And lets face it, you realy can't give them much evidence can you?

 

No real evidence no. Its mostly logs and stuff like that. Wich can be easily faked I think. So basically its word vs word more or less.