Never Say Good-bye on an Angry Note

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I just got an email from a friend that is very sad. There is also a lesson to learn among it.
My friend's dad got into an argument with his mom this past weekend. Apparently it was something stupid and trivial. The mom went to bed angry and they weren't speaking. The dad stayed up for several hours watching a movie and then latenight television.
He went to bed several hours later. He had cooled down somewhat and was going to wake the wife up to apologize. When he got into bed and went to wake her up, she was cold. She had passed away a few hours earlier. She had a heart attack in her sleep.
It was wierd that I got this email tonight as I had an arguement with my wife tonight. Something small. We did say goodnight to eachother, but there was still some leftover from the argument.
Don't let this happen to you. Never leave an arguement without resolving it. When you leave, make sure you say goodbye. And always tell the ones in your life just how much you love them.
I was going to post some more topics tonight, but instead I'll save them. I'm going to bed and when I get there, I am telling my wife I love her.

 

This is what scares me, man. I don't want to end things with my wife on an angry note -- I don't want to end things that way at all. There's a real lesson to be learned from this story and my present disaster -- never, ever close things down when there is still pain or an argument. Talk it through until 4am if you have to.

 

That's what happend to my parents. They got divorced because my mom is a very "expressive" person while my dad is the opposite. They probably went to bed angry every night of their marriage. Frankly, I'm surprised it lasted for 25 years like it did.

 

I suppose he's now all one big remorse and his conscience won't let him hear the end of it. He might even think he's killed his wife. Perhaps it did contribute.

Myself, I'm now very close to making a resolution not to ever again end matters unsolved by just cutting them. That's about what I did a week ago. Hitting on one girl who either realised or not, dating but not calling it dating, flirting, but then you flirt with friends etc too, and well, not being sure of anything... in fact having a big problem about that at the time being... I for some reason felt morally compelled to keep my hands and wits around myself when I met a girl on holidays. Like my type of woman incarnated, sort of. Everything: personality, brain, looks, manners, upbringing, values, whatever. As I know how brain works in such cases, especially if you're already being in trouble when getting struck by such emotions, I tried to put my mind at rest telling myself that the brain was overdoing. I was able to restrain myself from doing anything, but unable not to seek any contact at all. Even when I actually had to put my arm around her and hold her closer because of the freezing cold and strong wind (sort of 20 kilometres already made and 5 still to make), which I for obvious reasons probably also did too late, I still kept myself on guard. Ultimately I didn't ask any e-mail address, telephone number or whatever... thinking I was doing the right thing.

Now it's quite apparent the girl here doesn't care too much and isn't really all that much into it. Her mobile has not been working properly for ages (I have to believe her on this), and when I tried to contact her on Monday morning, as we arranged, the 'line was temporarily inaccessible'. I kept trying until Tuesday evening and not any further only because she was going abroad today for a week. Needless to say, I tried the mobile anyway, dropped SMSes and was writing mails all the time. She, in turn, didn't even borrow a mobile from anyone or get internet access at a friend's or whatever. And it wasn't the first time, it has always been like this. At this point I'm well... honestly, quite tired.

And then, suddenly, it also appears my brain wasn't really working the way I thought it was. What's more, I served myself a session of cold-blooded logic applied on whatever I was treating myself with. Ironically, I most probably didn't in fact do the morally right thing either, so I can't even say I was doing and have done all my best and everything right honest unto God etc.

Now if I had a phone number, email address or ICQ or other communicator number, I would probably have realised a few things by now and the girl from holidays would be a friend and only friend and my sick mind would be at peace. Now holiday photos will be ready soon and I'll be confronted with a whole new experience

So, this is what you get for cutting it without solving it. Never do this, for your own sake. Hope the story helps you here. Read it again any time you even think of cutting anything.