No Rest For the Wicked

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[This thread is a follow up to the How bad can you be thread.

The protagonist is a NE Jester who is neither dumb nor psychopathic, I'll start right from the beginning in Candlekeep. I'm playing Easy Tutu with a few mods including the NPC mod, unfinished business and Finch. I hope you'll enjoy reading about him so with no further ado...]

-->Meet Olath Faern He is a young half elf, little more than a child himself. His pale face and his grey eyes look sad. His face is marked by a bitter smile. He is busy throwing pebbles at Nessa, Drepin's cow when the latter is not watching.
In his youth he spent most of his time in Candlekeep's library learning many stories and tales. One day he found an old manuscript entitled "The Dark Book of Hellish and Cunning Pranks." This book changed his life. He learned that magic and a sword were not the only weapons at a bard's disposal. He learned about the art of the jester to ridicule his foes and to vanquish them with a deadly song.

As the years went by, the young bard grew weary of living in such a secluded place and he spent less and less time with his foster parent. Instead he would listen to tales from distant lands from the travellers and readers who stayed at Candekeep's Inn.

1 Mirtul, 1369
Candlekeep

This place is a prison. A golden cage filled with useless books. I'm suffocating in here, how I wish to see the realms and leave these walls.
I'm so bored. There is nothing to do but chores and errands that are so beneath me. Drepin wanted me to get some potion for his cow from Hull. What an idiot! As if I had nothing better to do. I wish I could leave on a quest or something. Fuller gave me some gold for killing the rats in the warehouse. Enough for a pint or two, not enough to get really drunk and stealing from one of the nobles staying at Winthrop's alehouse is not an option. I can't afford being caught, the guards were very clear last time, being Gorion's ward won't save me again. Perhaps that would be a solution. Make a mistake and make it big so that I should be bannished from hence. It's a tad risky but it would be worth it just to get away from here. I have to take matters in consideration.
I met a gnome cleric named Finch who seemed to know quite a bit about the seer Alaundo. She told me she was getting ready to leave Candlekeep. I wish I could say the same.

Later. I've just seen *my* father. Gorion told me we had to leave. He refused to tell me why but gave me a paltry sum to buy some equipment. The old man is such a miser! He is supposed to be such a powerful mage he should have a stash of magical weapons somewhere. I guess he's just another pompous jerk like Tethoril and Firebead. This place is crammed with useless monks and would be mages, I'm so glad I'm leaving. I'll miss my friend Imoen though...

Much later. I've been attacked... twice. Parda seems genuinely concerned about me but luckily for me my assaillants didn't know how to hold a blade. I've never killed someone before and oddly enough I don't feel bad about it. It isn't what I had expected. It actually makes me feel more powerful than ever! Anyway they had it coming!

Rolling back his scrolls and putting away his quill, the young bard picked up his serrated blade still stained with blood and without a look behind him went down the stairs towards the entrance of the library where Gorion was waiting for him.

 

Oh..that was very intresting for read. I like it

 

The beginning is very promising.
Very interesting character and nice writing.

Keep the updates (and the screenshots) coming .

 

[Thanks ]

Running away from Candlekeep Gorion and his ward were attacked by a party of ogres led by a terrible warrior clad in steel.
Escaping from certain death, Gorion's ward met his friend Imoen.
Together they went back to the place where Gorion had fallen.

"I guess he wasn't such a powerful mage after all..."

"How can you say that?" Imoen was shocked by the harshness of her friend's words.

"The rationale behind my statement is that no fighter, as powerful as a fighter may be, can be more powerful than a mage unless..."

"Unless?"

"Unless the mage runs out of spells or the fighter has some protective magic at work shielding him from the more lethal spells that could kill him outright or enslave him."

"So, you're telling me that this fighter was THAT powerful?"

"Come on Imoen, don't fret, he doesn't seem to be anywhere near so there's nothing to be afraid about right now."

"When we used to listen to Gorion's tales I never thought that real adventures would be like this, I mean, scary. What are we going to do now?"

"Gorion told me that some friends of his were waiting for us at the Friendly Arm Inn. So I guess it's as good a place as any for us to start."

Olath Faern smiled. He was outside of Candlekeep and for the first time in his life he enjoyed true freedom. Only one thing marred his mirth, the fact that a huge warrior capable of defeating a mage like Gorion wanted him dead.

Rummaging through Gorion's possessions, possessions that the mage would no longer need, Olath Faern found a letter signed by a mysterious "E." Khalid and Jaheira, Gorion's friends were mentioned in that letter as well. Judging by the letter they wouldn't have answers but would be ready to help. And help was badly needed.

 

Very nice. Keep the adventure coming, please.

 

damn... I knew I should have worked faster on Tiax' quest materials. This is refreshing - and a good perspective for seeing the Shadow versus the Light.

 

[Many (not so random) encounters later]


Xzar and Montaron: Two shady characters. Imoen doesn't like them at all. But we have no choice and need all the help we can get. The halfling has a murderous streak. I shan't sleep soundly tonight nor tomorrow. The mage is certainly demented and his laughter unsettles me. I'm going to part ways with them as soon as I find Gorion's friends.

We met an old man on the road. There is something fishy about him. He seemed to know to much. I had to silence Imoen she was getting too talkative. She can be so trusting and naive sometimes. I don't like Montaron's looks. He means business and I don't think he cares much about Imoen. I wonder why Xzar and his diminutive fellow started this partnership. There is clearly no friendship lost between them.

The crossroads are crowded! We have another companion. His name is Eldoth and he is a bard. He has a plan for making a fortune by helping a noble girl to escape from her father. I can relate to this but I don't feel like risking my neck in such a daring enterprise. I don't know why but I'm sure he hasn't told us everything. I really don't like the way he looks at Imoen. If our situation wasn't so desperate I would ditch him promptly but since he has agreed to accompany us we're now a little band and my chances to reach the Friendly Arm safe and sound have increased quite a bit.

The Friendly Arm. Well it wasn't so friendly... I was attacked by another assaillant. This time it was a mage by the name of Tarnesh . I wouldn't have had much of a chance facing him on my own. Xzar killed him with a necromancy spell, stealing his life energy. I must learn that spell! Back to the matter at hand, I must confess that it's even worse than I thought. That mage was a bounty hunter. A good thing that I did conceal the note from Eldoth's prying eyes. I don't trust the fellow... 200 coins of gold would certainly tempt him.
I'm offended. Whoever has put a bounty on my head is going to suffer for this outrage. My head is worth more than 200 gold!

[ April 09, 2007, 18:14: Message edited by: Caradhras ]

 

Just to let you know I'm here. Keep it up I am most curious to how your character developes.

 

Very good, and with Screen Shots too! Man, I want to write an opposite story to your version, one with a naive and good and kind hearted PC! Yours is ofcourse a lot cooler though, heh!

 

I eventually got to meet Khalid and Jaheira or Jaheira and Khalid for it is quite clear that she is the boss. She is such a bossy woman that I wonder if I hadn't made a huge mistake and whether I should have stuck with Xzar and Monty. Well at least I know that with Gorion's friends to watch my back I don't have to worry about getting a dagger in my spine during my sleep. Well, if Khalid is worth anything as a warrior. I must say he doesn't strike me as the most imposing or intimidating fellow. He's so easy to mock that it isn't even fun. I've got to be careful around Jaheira though. She has quite a temper and she doesn't look like she can be fooled as easily as her husband.

I did some sneaking around in the inn. It's really large and I got a few trinkets as a reward for my efforts. A nobleman thought I was picking up the laundry, the conceited fool, he gave me a pair of Calimshan golden pantaloons I must say I find them particularly becoming.

It was fruitful to chat with the locals since I learned many things about the area. We went ogre hunting south of the inn on our way to Beregost. Khalid is a much better fighter than he looks (well the opposite couldn't be true anyway and I'm sure our opponents won't take him seriously which will most certainly be a good thing for us).
I cursed the dwarf who told me about the ogre. He was supposed to have stolen one belt and I found two magical belts on his corpse. Since I could identify neither of them I told Jaheira to put the largest one on. Something quite unexpected happened.

"Olath I thought you had identified this belt!" Jaheira's voice had changed as her body had turned into a male body and Khalid looked in shock at his spouse.

"Ohhhhhh that must be a girdle of Masculinity Feminity Jaheira!" Imoen's eyes were wide with surprise.

"We need to get to a temple as soon as possible... I can't stay like this!" Jaheira's words were filled with anger.

"Don't wo-worry Ja-Jaheira We will find a cure." Khalid stammered helpless as usual.

"I'm sorry Jaheira I made a mistake I thought it was safe. But don't fret those enchantments are reversible most of the time." Olath couldn't help giggling.

"What do you mean most of the time?!"

"Well that's what Gorion taught me. Jaheir, I mean Jaheira." Olath couldn't help giggling.

"I don't find this particularly funny!"

"Sorry but you have to realize it could have been much worse, you could have turned into a squirrel, a mink or a chicken."

"A chi-chicken, you are not se-serious!?"

"I'm sorry Jaheira but I have to agree, this is funny." Imoen couldn't help looking at Jaheir(a)'s masculine body in a female outfit.

"Silence girl, keep your comments to yourself." Her voice was hoarse and manly.

"Listen to her, she is the man..." Olath whispered into Imoen's ear making sure the druid couldn't hear him.

[ April 09, 2007, 18:56: Message edited by: Caradhras ]

 

^Hahaha now that is funny how you treat Jaheira! Poor Khalid!

 

[Thanks for your comments, you're too kind! Anyway here is another update.]

Silke . A wonderful woman and the easiest 300 gold pieces I ever made. Jaheira remonstrated but she was still riled up about the cursed belt. I choose to ignore her comments. Come on, Feldpost's thugs attacked us didn't they? She is bound to feel better since the curse has been lifted.

Fate moves in mysterious ways. On our way to Nashkel we ran into a group of xvarts (I hate the little blue monsters) and slaughtered them with ease. It turned out that they were attacking a farmer and his cow. It reminded me of the fool Drepin and his bloody cow. Well fate had decided that I had to save a cow one day. It's not such a grand destiny... Although it was purely accidental on my part it helped to assuage Jaheira's feelings after the incident with Silke in Beregost. Anyway I checked and it was clear that the farmer had nothing but dung to offer as a reward for saving him. A good deed is never unpunished.

We eventually got to Nashkel. There we met a silly gnome by the name of Quayle at the Festival. Since he was utterly hopeless I decided to kick him out. Jaheira didn't seem to mind though he was getting on her nerves as well. Or maybe she was just upset because of that ogre, the berserker type, the one who caved Khalid's head in. It's going to be fun watching a cleric trying to put his brains back in. Not that Khalid ever used them much.

I made the easiest 200 gold pieces ever. Some silly bloated guy mistook me for a bounty hunter named Greywolf. I already knew that I struck a dashing figure with my scimitar and my cloak, but 200 gold pieces are well worth a little lie.

I may have misjudged my *friend* Jaheira's reputation. Berrun Ghastkill recognized her right away. We are to find out what is happening in the mines. I never liked tunnels that much and the fact that the catacombs in Candlekeep were off limits hadn't bothered me that much either.

We ran into the largest man I've ever seen (except perhaps for the armoured man who murdered Gorion). This stranger told us his name was Minsc and that he was on a quest to rescue his witch Dynaheir. He seemed deranged but certainly not demented like Xzar. He is always talking to his hamster. This inbred imbecile may be an idiot but he is as strong as an ox and he provided me with the perfect excuse to delay our visit to the mines...
After all saving his witch is indisputably a matter of life and death and even Jaheira had to comply. Especially after all the trouble we went through to carry Khalid's body to the nearest temple.

[ April 09, 2007, 20:15: Message edited by: Caradhras ]

 

Poor Minsc, I shudder to think what you'll do to him.

 

Don't hurt Minsc! He's so loveable

 

[Hé, hé, it's not Minsc who is in danger...]

I had a dream about Gorion, when I woke up I felt different. I realized I could steal some energy from my foes. I wonder how I came by this power and what other powers fate has in store for me.

On our way to the gnoll fortress where Minsc's witch is detained we met a man called Jared who asked us to rid him of a bear. It was amusing to see Jaheira's inner struggle. To her, considering her ethos, killing the bear was wrong but we had to cross the bridge. I made sure that the fight with the bear couldn't be avoided, after all Jared had promised a reward. It wasn't easy for Jaheira to accept the fact that we had to kill it. I taught her a lesson. But I learned one two. Jared gave me 50 gold pieces for the task. Only 50 gold! A real disgrace! It's a good thing I managed to steal a pair of precious boots from his bag when he wasn't looking. It doesn't pay to be honest in this world.

17 Mirtul, 1369.
We ran into a celebrity today. We were slaying gnolls when a certain Drow interrupted us to ask for help. There is a certain irony in being asked for help by that so called *hero*... I eagerly complied. Now I can boast that I actually saved his hide from a fate worse than death at the hands of an army of gnolls!

Once the battle was over I pushed him a little. I wonder how he came by such a reputation for I swear he is certainly not as tough as he is said to be. Disappointing really when you come to think of it. Anyway it was quite fruitful since I managed to surreptitiously lift one of his scimitars from his very scabbard. He is such a pansy, he didn't even notice what I was up to. I wonder how he came by his name and fame. I'm glad I did take it for it's such a fine weapon and I'm certain to put it to better use.

Anyway it's certainly awfully nice of him to have given it to me as a thank you for helping him fighting those gnolls. I bet Jaheira would agree. The craftsmanship is excellent.

...

So we rescued Dynaheir. She is a good looking woman but I have misgivings. She won't look kindly on my misdemeanours like Imoen, she isn't honour bound to help me like Khalid and Jaheira and she can't be tricked like Minsc. I'll have to get rid of her and to make it look like an accident if I want to retain Minsc's services. The befuddled ranger has proven very useful ever since he joined us...

 

Poor Minsc, no matter what he looses Dynaheir. Tis his fate in life.

 

On the road we were accosted by a very strange fellow who told us nonsensical stories about Neverwinter and Waterdeep. With all the dangers that plague the Sword Coast I wonder how this fool could travel so far safely. He mentioned a certain Lord Ribald, I wonder who that man is. I've read enough about the Realms to know quite a bit about famous lords and ladies and I can't remember ever reading that name.

Dynaheir died at the hands of a skeleton that ambushed us on our way back to Nashkel. I moved away from the fray to bind her wounds. She was almost dead when I reached her and she croaked before I had a chance to really interfere. I knew what I had to do. Since nobody was watching I deliberately mangled her body to insure that no cleric could ever resurrect her. Nobody noticed what I did but it was close. When Misc realized what happened he was furious and I fear his mind may have been further unhinged by this trial.

Minsc has been despondent lately. If it weren't for his hamster he would have gone completely mad. In his state of weakness he is just like clay in my hands. I'm confident that his despair can be turned into rage and make his berserker fury even more potent and even more uncontrollable. It's like playing with fire in a middle of a forest when the weather is dry and hot. It's well worth the risk. Without his witch Minsc can't possibly go back to his homeland. Left to his own devices he would most probably starve to death or get into trouble because of his violent demeanour. I now have the perfect slave to protect me and do my bidding.

We ran into a group of bandits. It was good to see that Minsc's grief at the loss of his witch didn't take the edge from his heavy sword. I heard that there were bounties offered for every bandit killed so I took a knife and scalped them to start my own private collection . Imoen was disgusted. Khalid as usual was ill at ease. Minsc didn't really care. Jaheira was about to remonstrate but I made myself clear. We certainly can't afford to be prissy. We need money if we are to help the widow and her orphans...
I forgot to mention that I was the chief orphan and the only orphan I'm likely to be concerned about!

Back in Nashkel where we planned to bury Dynaheir fate smiled upon me. As if by chance I ran into a Red Mage of Thay who was actually looking for Dynaheir... To kill her. He was really happy to see that his foe was dead and even happier when I showed him the corpse. I got 81 gold pieces to repay me for my endeavours. I must confess that I already knew that Thayvians were not to be trusted but I didn't expect them to be so good at haggling. This particular Red Wizard is certainly no exception. Anyway a gold piece is a gold piece.

Now Jaheira has started to pester me again with the mines business. There's no helping it, either I comply or we shall go our separate ways. I would get rid of her if it weren't for her healing spells and her stuttering but nevertheless sturdy husband. I fear that I may need them both by my side if I run into yet another bounty hunter. I've already been attacked three times since I left Candlekeep...

 

Love it!

 

Back to Beregost I stopped at Firebead Elvenhair's house. I knew he hadn't been upfront and I thought I'd push him to get to know what he was holding back. Minsc was here to back me up.

"Look Minsc, this Firebead mage is EviiiiiiL! I know for a fact he likes to torture little furry animals like Boo! We can't let him live, now can we?"

It wasn't easy to refrain him from killing the mage outright but even the sight of Minsc in his fury wasn't enough to make the old mage talk. Too bad for him. Jaheira made a scene about him though.

"How could we trust him? This mage knew too much! Look at the book he gave me... 'The Dead Three' that's ominous... Anyway he started his spellcasting when I went back to talk to him. He must have found out that I was unto him and that I wouldn't let go. Look Jaheira, we didn't have a choice... Minsc and I had to take him out, it was between him and us. Right Minsc here is a little crumb for Boo, isn't he such a cute little space hamster? You know what, hold that thought, but we have to find out what's going on in the mines. Sorry Jaheira, did I interrupt you? You were saying? Right, we really should get moving, the iron crisis is of the utmost importance you know and we have to put an end to it."

Before we left Beregost we met a very strange gnome by the name of Tiax. He claims to be a cleric of Cyric and he is clearly insane. I accepted to *join* on his unholy quest to conquer the world. I find his megalomania so refreshing and he is the only one who consistently laughs at my jokes. When I come to think of it he laughs even when I don't tell any jokes. I never believed much in clerical power, I'm more inclined to delve into the arcane myself but it can't be bad luck to have a priest with us, albeit a short crazy one.

Jaheira doesn't seem to relish the presence of our new companion, she relented though when I told her that it was better to keep him where we could watch him and use his powers for the greater good. She bought it. My cunning never stops to amaze me.

I'll have to clean up my act she is suspicious and she hasn't acted yet because she isn't sure that it wouldn't be a terrible mistake on her part. Her doubt is my strength and I'll be sure to make the most of it.

My dear companion Tiax started a new collection of his own. It's so endearing to watch him aping me. I'm growing fond of the little numbskull, he never ceases to amuse me.

 

This is fascinating... one thing is for sure, you certainly will not need the Bardic Reputation Adjustment component (if you installed it) . I am amazed Jaheira has stuck with you. I keep forgetting that a neutral character is pretty open both ways...