Noobs be damned (IM/chat strangers part 2)

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Edit: I have found the first conversation with Revenant Stranger:

Convo 1:

RS: HELLO
RS: WILL WE TALK?/
C: welcome
RS: PAULINE I HAVE FOR NAME[question mark smiley] //Sounded even worse in the original language, and why the question mark is beyond me.
RS: AND YOU? [question mark smiley]
C: Luke
RS: NICE TO MEET YOU
RS: AND WHERE ARE YOU FROM LUKIE [question mark smiley] //sic
C: Warsaw
RS: THAT I ALREADY KNOW
RS: AND THE QUARTER [question mark smiley]
C: Bródno
RS: AND I WOLA //Wola is the name of her quarter.
RS: AND WHY ARE YOU SO TACI TURN [question mark smiley] //Taciturn is too big a word. The original word is, basically, "littlespeaking" written the right way and "little speaking" written her way.
RS: AND WHAT DO YOU DO CASUALLY [question mark smiley] //"Casually" is too smart a word, but it's still a better translation that a whole phrase of "on everyday basis"

Convo 2:

Enter Revenant Stranger, a nude number with no other profile data supplied.

Revenant Stranger: hello
RS: [two question mark smileys]
Chevalier: hey //"Hey" is a greeting here and a kind one, so it's not like "hey, have we ever talked?", contrary, it makes you seem pleased to see someone.
C: have we talked yet? //giving a hint
RS: why haven't you talked last time?
RS: yes, we have
C: when?
RS: ... [pastes a recent conversation consisting exclusively of questions directed at me (while IIRC she hadn't even introduced herself) that I indeed dodged at some point, overwhelmed by the specific spelling and total lack of lowercase]

[edit] The log she pasted showed that she had me added to her contacts as "Luke1". Brilliant.[/edit]

RS: that was our conversation
RS: we spoke on the [exact date including seconds]
C: and?
RS: and you didn't talk //More or less how it sounded in the original language
C: please switch off that bold, it hurts my eyes.
RS: i asked you a question and you didn't give a damn
RS: OK
RS: doesn't matter
C: as a rule, when I don't answer, I have a reason
C: or I don't have an answer to the question //Technically, this counts as a reason, but let's make a sacrifice for the sake of uncomplicated message delivery.
C: about what would you like to talk today?
RS: Ah perhaps you don't want to talk to me //She starts embracing the concept.
RS: no problem, I'm not bugging you anymore
RS: sorry for wasted time
C: don't apologise, but start a conversation if you wish to talk
RS: So I'll start
RS: What do you do casually* [question mark smiley] //*idiom meaning "when it's not a holiday", a popular cheap pick-up
C: I study, waste time, work, sleep, drink, various things
RS: AND TELL ME WHY YOU ARE SO UN PLEASANT [question mark smiley] //To reflect the original spelling; also, it's a very pleasant thing to say, isn't it?; and since when do unkind people know why they're unkind, and that the are unkind, in the first place?
C: as a rule, I adapt to the other person //hint
RS: AND AM I UN PLEASANT
RS: SO YOU ADAPTATE SO MUCH //I guess "adaptate" would be it.
C: a question of perspective
C: I could explain it, but it wouldn't be pleasant to hear, therefore if this solution will suit you, I will wish you a good night now
RS: SO EXPLAIN
C: as a rule, I interrupt the conversation when someone starts screaming
C: I have exercised a good deal of patience not interrupting this one. This is one thing
C: the other is, basic respect for the interlocutor demands using more or less correct language. //Some people need to learn their lessons the hard way. I won't lower myself to lie that I'm busy or tired. If there were a more diplomatic way, I would come up with one.
RS: BUT I AM NOT SCREAMING
C: I beg your pardon, but what are you doing then?
C: all capital letters
C: and if not capitals, then bold
RS: AH IT'S ABOUT THAT //Yeah! Bingo!
C: That is screaming.
RS: BECAUSE WHEN I WRITE WITH SOMEONE IT GETS CONFUSED
C: IF BOTH WRITE IN LOWERCASE LETTERS
RS: I don't know if you know that, but there are colours. //Yeah, in that IM yours is on light background and theirs is on a dark one.
C: your lines are on light background
C: other people's lines are on dark
RS: I KNOW BUT I DON'T LIKE USING THEM,BECAUSE THEY ARE UN PRETTY //More or less how it sounded in the original language.
RS: sorry
C: Then I wish you luck in your hunt.
RS: Good night.
RS: Could talk like that from start.
C: It's not I who come with grievance to strangers.
RS: sorry, but now I don't get what you mean
RS: it was you who didn't like what I wrote

EOF

Any stories of your own to share, any thoughts on the problem? Or perhaps you can recommend a good therapist. I'm going to need one soon.



[ July 12, 2004, 01:55: Message edited by: chevalier ]

 

Its almost midnight eastern standard time. This is an example of how not to chat in a chatroom with a female. This is what I put up with at times...like tonight.

Hardrock: do u chat
DHB: thats why I am here
Hardrock: wood u chat with me
DHB: I think we already are chatting
Hardrock: yep
Hardrock: my name is rocky, my buds call me rock
as in rock hard.
DHB: Interesting, have you considered making new friends?
Hardrock: WHA????????
Hardrock: I don getcha
DHB: Sorry Rock, just a little female sarcasm.
Hardrock: Is that a sex thing
DHB: No rock I assure you it has nothing to do with sex.
Hardrock: too bad lol
Hardrock: So wats ur real name
DHB: I dont give out my real name rock, maybe if we become friends I will tell you.
Hardrock: My name is rocky
DHB: I think we established that rock.
Hardrock: o yea sorrie how old are ya
DHB: I am 20, and yourself?
Hardrock: 23
Hardrock: wat does dhb mean
DHB: Its short for Dark Haired Beauty
Hardrock: so ur a girl, cus i dont chat with guys
DHB: Yes rock I am of the female persuasion
Hardrock: i aint no perv
DHB: I didn't say you were rock.
Hardrock: k so your dark are you black whare do you cum from
DHB: No sweetie, I am Caucasian
Hardrock: u called me sweetie where is caucasion at
DHB: Sorry its a bad habit i call everyone sweetie
Hardrock: it k u can call me anything

insert about three minutes of silence here

Hardrock: Sooooooo u thare
DHB: Yes Rock, still waiting on you with baited breath
Hardrock: so u missed me i had to take a pea
DHB: Too much info there Rock
Hardrock: did tht turn ya on
DHB: No rock, bodily functions dont turn me on
Hardrock: hos cum u use such big words
DHB: I wasn't aware I used big words and its come rock please spell it right
Hardrock: see u said aware
DHB: auggggggg
Hardrock: so watcha look like cause im tall and have dark haier
DHB: Are looks important to you Rock?
Hardrock: yep cus im not waistin my time on fat ugly chicks
DHB: So if I was overweight or I wasnt attractive to you chatting with me would be a waste of your time?
Hardrock: i dont fool round online with ugly girls
DHB: Rocky you certainly have a way with girls maybe you should quit while your ahead
Hardrock: you said head lol
DHB: Rock did your mom not warn you about eating the lead paint chips peeling from the wall when you were younger?
Hardrock: howd u now i was eatin chips
DHB: Lucky guess Rock.
Hardrock: so im gonna get lucky
DHB: Rock you couldn't get lucky in a womans prison with a hand full of pardons.
Hardrock: I don get it
DHB: I am not suprised Rock
Hardrock: if i was naked you might be suprised
DHB: thats it rock i think you need to find manners
Hardrock: so were not gonna have some fun
DHB: NO
Hardrock: your a b_____
DHB: so now i am a female dog
Hardrock: no a B I A T C H
DHB: Sorry rock. I'm putting you on ignore

Note: Coming back to this post and reading it I realize I may of come off being sarcastic and mean to good old Rock from New Jersey. Maybe I could of handled the chat a little better. I in no way intended to insinuate that guys are stupid or lack the ability to converse in an intelligent manner. I try to be thoughtful to every person I encounter. I myself am guilty of sometimes being overly friendly.

[ July 10, 2004, 17:27: Message edited by: Dark Haired Beauty ]

 

What can I say. I had a good laugh.

Too bad I never took the habit of keeping logs from my ircing. I'm sure everyone has quite a few incidents like those.

Chev's served to remind us of how good it really is that SP is a holy ground against misspelling artists and capslockspammers.

More of this, please. It's actually a lot more fun reading what's happened to people you 'know', rather than just some random guy in the net who probably made it all up himself.

 

Hehehe, That was funny DHB - Chev's thing was a bit overly queer for my currently (and probably permanently) sleepy head but DHB: LOL that people can be that stupid.
I just pray for him he was doing that on purpose, having a laugh in some dumb perverted way himself.
Btw I've been meaning to ask: in mIRC how do you get to where you set logging options.

 

What is the point playing a horny dummyass if the opposite gender is with all likelyhood at the other side of the globe?

Should probably make a visit to the chat-rooms sometime; never had enough interest to do so before.

 

One thing: mine wasn't from chat. I wasn't seeking to chat. It was on an instant messenger, one called Gadu-Gadu. You probably haven't hear of it, but you might. I don't know if any non-Poles use it, but, as Miranda supports its protocol, there is such a possibility.

@DHB: Reading yours made my heart bleed for you. One day, rock (as in rock hard) will get caught in some cute synclinal fold and they will live unhappily ever after.

[ July 10, 2004, 14:33: Message edited by: chevalier ]

 

Hehe.
Great stuff, guys

 

More:

Lass: hello
Lass: will we talk [four question mark smileys]
Chev: hey, welcome //It sounds less enthusiastic in the original language than in English.
Chev: sure
Chev: go ahead
Lass: your name is Luke [one question mark smiley] //Wow! This one has enough intelligence to check member's personal info.
Chev: yes, and you are Natalie
Chev: unless it's a sister or friend //There's no way she gets the pun, but the thing is girls often use different names in conversation than in personal info record and always happen to be logged in as a friend or sisters when you ask about that - that is, unless they put you on their ignore list outright.
Lass: yesmy name is Natalie
Lass: do you have a photo [one question mark smiley]
Lass: [two question mark smileys]
Chev: yes, I have
Chev: and you? //Wouldn't be surprised if she didn't.
Chev: I understand that you wish to make an exchange?
Chev: www.chevalier.szm.com/chev.jpg

End of story

Edit: I've found the previous convo with Revenant Stranger. Updated the opening post.

[ July 10, 2004, 15:10: Message edited by: chevalier ]

 

Very, very cruel Chev. I appreciate it though. I can never be that mean to someone, I'm the sucker that gets put through the rigors of terrible conversation because I'm too nice to be snipish. Unless, as you demonstarted DHB, that they are too stupid to realise your terribly cutting insults.

My heart bleeds, there are violins playing and a woman in the front row weeps.

 

Since this is apparently a bit troublesome to you, I would guess that the IM system that you use doesn't have a "block" system. Have you considered switching to something that allows you to block users?

Then again, you may have a lot of friends on your IM, perhaps making the change not worthwhile. But I'm not one for chatting for the sake of chatting.

 

I dont think you were mean to old Rock at all Dark Haired Beauty.I think you actualy handled him with more class than he deserved.

Thats the promblem with a lot of those chatrooms,particularly if you are female.There seems to be alot of strange predators out there.

 

Heh heh heh. Oh you poor poor fools! Simply put boring or scary information (based very lightly on the truth) in your bios. That way your friends have a laugh if they read it and no randoms ever bother with you.

If by some miracle someone decides to chat with you and their lack of spelling and grammar is obvious, simply say: 'Talk/type (whichever you prefer) properly or don't talk/type at all.'

If they fail to understand and continue to fail their communication checks or they insult you there's a handy feature called 'block' with most chat programmes. Use it

Today's lesson was brought by the words "Go" and "Away".

 

Chevy - cruel. Very, very cruel.
Imagine the poor girl - leaning forward to her monitor in anticipation only to se ... well, that.


At least you didn't use the thong picture...

 

Block without explanation is somewhat rude... Plus, after one conversation like that they rarely return.

Doesn't work. Some people have to have more or less real data and if it looks bogus they will ignore it and chat to you anyway. Plus, you may get some attention you don't want.

Even if you put "sworn to chastity" in there, there will always be someone out to make you reconsider. And few people bother if you are single or not.

Some decent people who are conscious of the fact they make mistakes every now and then might be offended by such a line.

More from me:

Girl: hello!
Girl: how goes?
Chev: hey //Perhaps the exclamation mark after "hello" was accidental. Perhaps she didn't really mean it. Perhaps she's just being happy or something... She doesn't strike as retarded and I have some free time, maybe she checked the city...
Chev: everything is fine
Girl: yeah, nothing exciting and what about you! //Exclamation mark in place of question mark means goodbye sweetheart. The rest requires no comment.
Chev: fine, fine //...and deliver us from evil...
Girl: but speak about something

End of story.

Another one:

Girl2: hello [exclamation mark smiley]
Girl2: can you be disturbed a bit [question mark smiley]
Chev: sure
Chev: don't hamper yourself
G2: no I don't hamper myself I only talked on the phone for a while
G2: maybe I'll introduce myself first
G2: my name is [name]
G2: and I'm from [location]
Ch: Luke
Ch: Warsaw
G2: sorries I wrote to you like this but I'm bored so much I really don't know what to do with myself! //Thanks for sharing.
G2: //Wow, how cute
Ch: no harm in that, I can talk for a while
G2: OK so what will we talk about [question mark smiley] //Hey, who started this? Even when I was a teenager out for cyber, I would always say "about what would you like to talk" if not suggest a subject and one other than how lonely or boring the life is.
Ch: about what would you like to talk?
G2: I don't know think about something //Yeah, tell me it's my job. Perhaps it was my idea to chat as well.
G2: what do you do casually [question mark smiley] //The same "casually" as above
Ch: various things
Ch: webpages recently
Ch: I have to remake those that are already online
G2: ooo
Ch: make some other ones...
G2: aha
Ch: I do various things on the internet
Ch: that's why I'm always online
G2: and do you study still?
G2: in school?
Ch: I study law
G2: well well I see I'm getting to know a future lawyer //
Ch: One doesn't know yet //Love thy neighbour, love thy neighbour...
G2: yeah
G2: but be optimistic [exclamation mark smiley]
Ch: there isn't always a job in that field
Ch: I know some languages and make websites, perhaps I'll decide to go that route
Ch: but master's must be
G2: I know I know know what I'm fixed for a beer so I'll be buggering off now
Ch: take care
G2: it was nice chatting with you
G2: see you
Ch: mutually
Ch: //Chev is kind, chev is nice, chev is kind, chev is nice...

And the worst one:

Stranger: hi
Chev: greetings
Chev: what's the matter?
S: I greet you too [sp. mistake] where are you from
Ch: I'm male
S: I'm too
S: You watch the match today? [nine question mark smileys]
S: [one question mark smiley]

EOF

 

Errr Chev - what's so bad about the last one | I don't know but talking about the match, whatever sports it was, hardly seems like a bad introduction.
Most of the convo's here are caught in that void space between hilarious and depressing.
Might go out and make some myself somedaysoon.

 

Noticed the "I'm male" part? It wasn't bad. It was intrinsically evil.

 

No, Chev has a point for ending that discussion. Males usually find each other on the internet via similar interest, not random chat (unless they are homosexual and seeking another homosexual).

So you'll probably first meet another male you want to talk to using ICQ or whatever in places such as... well... HERE for instance (forums/message boards) or multiplayer games.

A guy suddenly taking interest in you via random chat is disturbing. Doesn't he have friends to talk to about 'the game'? And if not... why not?

 

Update: there's a topic in one Polish forum I attend that reads "How to pick up a guy on a communicator?". The forum is associated with a popular Polish communicator, one of the two I use. And it's quite bloody long. I'm not even going to read that. My hurt could go off. Or my stomach. Here goes my reply. I hereby grant you non-exclusive transferrable delegable license to use it whenever oppurtunity arises.

[ July 18, 2004, 03:58: Message edited by: chevalier ]

 

As a follow up to the Noobs be damned topic we had nearly a month ago, here goes the conversation with my newest "acquaintance" (blocked). The translation is meant to reflect the awful way it sounded in Polish:

She: he[llo]
Chev: greetings
She: why you so official?
Chev: just greeting you
Chev: have we talked already?
She: which quart[er] are you from? //she apparently thought it was "cool and trendy" to mutilate the word "quarter"
She: no
Chev: which what?
She: you duffer // at this point I decided to play the game and see what happens
Chev: eh
Chev: you can't speak Polish and that's your problem
She: bet you can't be from Warsaw
She: one speaks polishish //just a bastardisation of "Polish"
Chev: bet only you do
Chev: go exchange names with other young hussies
Chev: I wish you a good night
She: What a nc of you //=no comments, ie "what a no comments of you"... funny thing, I am a no comments
Chev: people divide between those who study and those who attend to them
Chev: it seems you belong to the latter group
Chev: therefore please show some more respect
Chev: and now good night
She: alas there often happen to be such unplayful typies as you //more or less like it sounded in Polish
She: I'm not going to sleep yet so don't say good night //what if *I* am?

//The hussy confirmed to believe that being from the city made you better than anyone who wasn't and that being from the capital city, apparently her chief asset given all the ado, made you better than those from other cities. Notice also the "I'm not going to sleep yet, so don't say goodnight" part (attitude). I decided to play it hard:

Chev: such unplayful typies govern the playful typies, treat them, handle their cases
Chev: that gives them money, power and position in the society
Chev: the playful typies clean buildings, bag groceries etc
Chev: goodbye

//Note: she will most probably move on from frittering away her father's money to frittering away her husband's money and never need to clean anything (nor finish a school, for that matter), but still... guess it made her feel worse still and what made her feel worse made me feel better

Does anyone else have something new?