NPC Therapy Session

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These are the recordings of the NPC Therapy session. Today we have Recorded Mr. J. Irenicus with a Mr. B. Spawn.

Therapist - So what seems to be the trouble today?
Bhaalspawn - It's Jon, he has captured my soul, but still he is in love with his Ex!
Therapist - I can see where this is heading, Jon, what have you to say for yourself?
Irenicus - I cling to the memory of my first love! before she tore me apart an I was rejected. *sob*
Therapist - I think, Jon, you need to try and get over your ex, perhaps spen more time with the Bhaalspawn?
Bhaalspawn - But... but... he stole my soul! He has half and I have half, it's not fair!
Irenicus - But you don't use it!
Therapist - please, if you both share a soul then surely you must have something in common?
Irenicus - I like killing things.
Bhaalspawn - Hey, me too! Do you like drinking?
Irenicus - Depends what it is...
Therapist - see! You are already becoming friends!
Bhaalspawn - well... Jon still tried to kill my sister...
Irenicus - No, I tried to take her soul for *my* sister
Bhaalspawn - *sniff* I wish I had a close family.
Therapist - perhaps you could sort of become one single family?
Bhaalspawn - that would be nice *smile*
Irenicus - My parents would *love* to meet you.
Bhaalspawn - Hey, after this, how about we head to the movies?
Irenicus - Sure.

And so ends another session

Please post even if you thought this was a load of rubbish thrown together in five minutes... hang on, it is

 

Funny - I like it! Give us more!!!

 

That was excellent!

 

That was a good laugh, post more

 

lol, nice session.

 

Todays session, my friends, is between Mr. N. One and Miss D. spirit

Therapist - so what seem to be the trouble?
Deinarra - My boyfriend keeps forgetting my birthday.
Nameless - I'm your boyfriend???
Deinarra - of course, my love! We have been together for many years.
Nameless - Since when?
Therapist - I think I can guess the problem, Mr. One, perhaps you can tell me about Deinarra.
Nameless - Well, she's very... blue.
Therapist - perhaps your travels say something about her.
Nameless - probably, but I lost my journal where I wrote it all.
Therapist - hmm, is there anything that helps you remember?
Nameless - Sure, when I'm talking to people I feel a crawling sensation, hear a funny noise and gain experience.
Therapist - interesting, does this happen often?
Nameless - yes, it does, usually at very strange times.
Deinarra - My love, you must remember me!
Nameless - Hmm, I remember that we both joined the same club once, and you left me this naff ring.
Deinarra - Naff!! That is our wedding ring, my love! How can you call it naff!
Nameless - oops...
Therapist - I think we must have a communication problem here. Perhaps, Miss spirit, you could help Mr. One remember.
Deinarra - His memory isn't the only problem.
Therapist - oh?
Deinarra - there are more than the two of us in this relationship!
Therapist - ... oh?
Nameless - I'm innocent!
Deinarra - The worst thing is, they completely ignore me! What has a ghost invisible to the living got to do to get noticed around here!
Nameless - I notice you. I can't help it really
Therapist - That's nice to say
Nameless - hmm, I hear music whenever she's around.
Therapist - that isn't just me then?
Nameless - nope It's Char4a, or something like that.
Therapist - interesting, how can you remember that but not miss Spirit herself?
Nameless - well, I lose my memory when I die.
Therapist - When you die?
Nameless - yes, I keep dying
Therapist - Everyone has bad habits i suppose
Deinorra - He keeps chatting people up thinking I don't notice.
Nameless - Name them!
Deinorra - Annah, Grace, Ravel, Ei-Vene...
Nameless - Ei-vene started it!
Deinorra - the Zombies in the mortuary
Nameless - That was Morte.
Deinorra - yes but still the others!
Therapist - Perhaps Mr. One should ask himself why he is going for all these people.
Nameless - Ravel made me immortal - it's not as if I *really* like her!
Deinorra - What about Grace! And Annah! Demons the pair of them!
Therapist - now, no name calling here please.
Deinorra - But that Grace is a succubus and Annah is a tiefling!
Therapist - I say...
Nameless - Nothing happened between us!
Therapist - In that case... can I have Graces' number?

Recording end.

 

that was great

 

Excuse Me, that was almost TOO funny

*HURL*

That was so funny I puked myself, keep at it, please.

 

Hah hah That was better than the first! Keep it coming, laughed until I was dizzy.

 

Too cool! nearly died laughing (perhaps that wasn't appropriate to say in regards to the PS: T related post?) Either way, keep em coming.

 

WOW these were great, keep 'em coming

 

hmm seems 8peoples brain that thinks up cool and funny stuff is working! I'm at computer clasess and this really made me laugh! KEEP it up!

OR else...
Padeen!

[ November 29, 2002, 16:11: Message edited by: Padeen Dragonblade ]

 

I liked the BG one. That was funny. Did not understand the PST one, because me no play PST.

 

Another session, today Mr B. Spawn is back with more relationship porblems, he has come hear today with miss A. Fairy and Mr H. Dalis

Therapist - Ah, dare I ask...?
Aerie - Th-these men keep f-fighting over me! I c-can't stand it!
Therapist - Do you know what triggered these fights?
Haer'Dalis - Ah! My dove! You know that you are meant for this Sparrow and not the vile Raven! I am the one who cured your stutter!
Therapist - er... pardon?
Haer'Dalis - Silence, crow
Therapist - I think you're Cookoo!
Haer'Dalis - no, a Sparrow.
Therapist - !
Bhaalspawn - He's some nancy poet from Sigil - he thinks everything should die and be destroyed!
Haer'Dalis - FOR THE DOOMGUARD! I STRIKE A BLOW!
Bhaalspawn - See?
Therapist - riiiiiiiiiight, what is actually the problem though?
Aerie - I love them both, but I can't decide who to stay with!
Therapist - How about Sissors, Paper, Stone?
Aerie - I've never tried that...
*****************************************
Aerie - So it's decided then, I go with the Bhaalspawn.
Haer'Dalis - But... but what of me my dove? You have flown with the Raven and this Sparrow is all alone!
Therapist - Stop being such a useless tit! You swan in here like a peacock and yet you are still too chicken to face the fact you can't pull birds!
Haer'Dalis - And you call me Cookoo?
Therapist - Yes, but if you are desperate... I have this number... her name is Grace...

Fini

 

LOL!!! very funny im glad u decided to slag off Ha'er Dalis cos hes just annoying

 

ROFL Great job !

 

That was good, LMAO!

 

8people Cast Great Story
Dungeon_Master: will save 12 + 3 = 15 Failled!
Dungeon_Maste: Laugh for 5 minutes...
This sparrow is ready to laugh at your story of course.

 

A-HA! OMIGOD!!!! HA-HA-HA! can't- AHAHAHA!-stop-*snigger- Laughing!!!!! A HAHAHA.

And you know, i really felt like the poor people got the help they needed. You are a veritable miracle-worker, M'lady. Might I have this dance?

 

Keeps getting better