1. SPS Accounts:
    Do you find yourself coming back time after time? Do you appreciate the ongoing hard work to keep this community focused and successful in its mission? Please consider supporting us by upgrading to an SPS Account. Besides the warm and fuzzy feeling that comes from supporting a good cause, you'll also get a significant number of ever-expanding perks and benefits on the site and the forums. Click here to find out more.
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
You are currently viewing Boards o' Magick as a guest, but you can register an account here. Registration is fast, easy and free. Once registered you will have access to search the forums, create and respond to threads, PM other members, upload screenshots and access many other features unavailable to guests.

BoM cultivates a friendly and welcoming atmosphere. We have been aiming for quality over quantity with our forums from their inception, and believe that this distinction is truly tangible and valued by our members. We'd love to have you join us today!

(If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. If you've forgotten your username or password, click here.)

Nympho Convention - made me chuckle.

Discussion in 'Whatnots' started by Barmy Army, Sep 28, 2004.

  1. Barmy Army

    Barmy Army Simple mind, simple pleasures... Adored Veteran

    Joined:
    May 26, 2003
    Messages:
    6,586
    Media:
    2
    Likes Received:
    162
    A man boarded an aircraft at Heathrow and took his seat. As he settled in he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight towards his seat and bingo! she took the seat right beside him.

    Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "business trip or vacation?"

    She turned, smiled enchantingly and said "Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States".

    He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

    "Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

    "Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?"

    "Well," she explained, " one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish," Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you,I don't even know your name."

    "Tonto," the man said... "Tonto Papadopoulos , but my friends call me Paddy."
     
  2. Death Rabbit

    Death Rabbit Straight, no chaser Adored Veteran Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2003
    Messages:
    6,103
    Media:
    1
    Likes Received:
    241
    Gender:
    Male
    Awesome. /me clinks beer mug.
     
  3. chevalier

    chevalier Knight of Everfull Chalice ★ SPS Account Holder Veteran

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2002
    Messages:
    16,815
    Media:
    11
    Likes Received:
    58
    Gender:
    Male
    I've heard a version with Indians and Jews. "Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm Moshe Winnetou.".
     
  4. SleepleSS Gems: 24/31
    Latest gem: Water Opal


    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2002
    Messages:
    1,991
    Likes Received:
    0
    This one is really funny! I needed a little cheer me up, so thanx!
     
  5. Dalveen

    Dalveen Rimmer gone Bald Veteran

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    1,443
    Media:
    3
    Likes Received:
    9
    Hehe, very amusing :)
    Ive never heard that one before.
     
  6. Abomination Gems: 26/31
    Latest gem: Diamond


    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2003
    Messages:
    2,375
    Likes Received:
    0
    I've heard various versions of that. I thought it was American Indian for length and Polish for width (curse you Chev!)... but oh well. It ain't the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean :D
     
  7. Jaguar Gems: 27/31
    Latest gem: Emerald


    Veteran

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2003
    Messages:
    2,542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    And the skill of the captain. :D
     
  8. Hugo Gems: 15/31
    Latest gem: Waterstar


    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2003
    Messages:
    747
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hehehe...
    Hadn't heard that one before...
    Amusing enough *grins*
    :borg:
     
  9. Enagonios Gems: 31/31
    Latest gem: Rogue Stone


    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2001
    Messages:
    6,089
    Likes Received:
    5
    got it after a second or two late. :p must reduce alcohol consumption hehe.
     
  10. Arabwel

    Arabwel Screaming towards Apotheosis Veteran

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2001
    Messages:
    7,965
    Media:
    2
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Female
    *cackle*

    That's just the sort of thing I needed to make the library people think I am even more weird...
     
  11. Rastor Gems: 30/31
    Latest gem: King's Tears


    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2002
    Messages:
    3,533
    Likes Received:
    0
    When I saw the subject line of this topic, I was prepared to place a bid for tickets.

    It was funny, nonetheless.
     
  12. Rednik Gems: 21/31
    Latest gem: Pearl


    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2004
    Messages:
    1,340
    Likes Received:
    0
    [​IMG] Lame, but funny.

    Worthy of a :hahaerr:
     
  13. Aldazar Gems: 24/31
    Latest gem: Water Opal


    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2003
    Messages:
    1,895
    Likes Received:
    3
    I've heard a few different versions as well but it's still kind of amusing.
     
  14. Satiana Fearbringer Gems: 11/31
    Latest gem: Bloodstone


    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2000
    Messages:
    403
    Likes Received:
    0
    Amen.....Abomination and Jaquar....amen!

    Funny enough clip to make me smile....and that's what counts! :)
     
  15. The Kilted Crusader

    The Kilted Crusader The Famous Last words "Hey guys, watch THIS!" Veteran

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2002
    Messages:
    1,870
    Likes Received:
    7
    Oh god! That is hilarious, thanks Mors!
     
  16. Kitrax

    Kitrax Pantaloons are supposed to go where!?!?

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2002
    Messages:
    7,899
    Media:
    74
    Likes Received:
    96
    Gender:
    Male
    Wow...that one's quite old, but I haven't heard it for a while, so I had a good laugh. :rolling:
     
Sorcerer's Place is a project run entirely by fans and for fans. Maintaining Sorcerer's Place and a stable environment for all our hosted sites requires a substantial amount of our time and funds on a regular basis, so please consider supporting us to keep the site up & running smoothly. Thank you!

Sorcerers.net is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to products on amazon.com, amazon.ca and amazon.co.uk. Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.