Questionable humour

Remove all ads!

I do it. I don't know about you, but I have been know to be an arse just for a bit of fun. Like driving 10 below the speed limit when there is an anxious driver behind you. How about being one of those annoyingly cheerful people when someone is in a bad mood. Or making loud sex like sounds when you know it will annoy somebody .

Come on, tell us your worst. If it don't harm no one, and its funny, post it here.

(Such things as pranks, gags, humiliating situations forced onto others are perfect exapmles)

 

I don't like the idea of humiliating people. Those who humiliate others in most cases first of all humiliate themselves. However, sometimes I had to make messing with me a bad bargain and adding a risk of humiliation was an effective way. Once, one guy tried to challenge me (In what world do those people live?). I turned it down telling him he wasn't a gentleman and added that he was still free to challenge his luck attacking me. The other time I was drunk and the guy blocked my way with his arm as I was going to say goodbye to a friend's girlfriend (he had some issues about that girl). His arm landed on the wooden wardrobe nearby and I moved on. He went for a walk and I haven't seen him since.

Despite the fact that the implicit suggestion that I might consider it proper to compete with him if we both were hitting on the same woman was an explicit insult, I didn't serve him a compensational public humiliation for some reason. Behaving as if he had some rights to a friend's girlfriend put him behind a certain bracket and probably that was it.

I've also gained some renown for not very democratic remarks, but the recipients were always asking for it.

Some subtle ones are acting on the grey area of etiquette. I have, for instance, omitted certain persons when shaking hands with a line of people. With females, in a couple of cases I said a greeting and bowed my head instead of kissing the cheek.

Once, a girl flirted with me, made some moves back and forth and all, kept telling me about some other guy etc. Something was wrong and I asked a friend of mine to do some intelligence... during a birthday phonecall to that girl. In phoned as well with proper timing (much and obviously delayed, though still formally in time) and surveyed her reaction, later also adding several special checks and all I led her to tell me she wasn't actually giving much chance to that guy (at some point I showed tiredness with the play and made one of my undemocratic comments) and all, got her more flirtatious etc. However, when I proposed going out somewhere, she dodged, helping herself with troubles in the school (a typical trick - some girls think it makes guys want or value them more if they refuse each first proposal and only accept the second or third). Next day, my friend confirmed she had a boyfriend or a boyfriend figure (I prepared some mini script for her to say, so my connection with that call was never discovered). Mind you, the whole time she didn't even mention yet another guy in the story. Two days later, we were traversing the Old City with a couple of friends, including her brother, et voila! we nearly bumped into his sister having a pub crawl with some guy. Not myself, not the alleged boyfriend, not the guy she used on me, a fourth guy.

At first, I pretended I hadn't seen them. Didn't work. The friends stopped them and yelled in my direction, so I had to go back. I said hello to her and bowed slightly, but didn't move close (not even as a friend, but as a good friend's sister, she should have got a cheek kiss and got before). I ignored the guy altogether, as he wasn't introduced. Didn't work, she extended her hand to me (either very smart move, or I'm paranoid). I extended mine as well, with enough haste to be proper on the surface and enough delay to show lack of particular interest. And didn't squeeze it. Didn't work. She squeezed it. I didn't return the squeeze. It didn't work. She held my hand and wouldn't let go of it. I couldn't take it away, but still wouldn't squeeze. Didn't work. She presented her cheek and I had to kiss it. I was unable to come up with anything better at that moment, so I made it so formal as empty as possible.

The guy, a stranger, got a normal handshake with a greeting and a perfectly faked warm welcoming smile.

 

Hmm, Chevalier - that was way too complicated for me.
Queer polish etiquette.
I hope I never get that 'civilised'.
Anyway - I can't come up with anything, nice thread though.

 

Yes well I too experience the occasional 'bumpersticker' on the road. I especially love them when I'm driving on the left side on the freeway with a nice colonne of trucks on the right side (those trucks are going an 80-100 kmh). In that particular situation I will drive as fast as the trucks to really piss off the driver behind me, flicking his lights at me only makes me drive slower. The fun part is not to break so they don't see your break lights and just slowly very slowly slow down some more. And then of course the moment supreme where I finally go to the right and they drive besides me to flick the finger, that's the moment I smile really hard and give them an air kiss, now that really pisses them off and they drive off very fast. Aaaaahh the warm fuzzy feeling inside and the boiling laughter afterwards is alway worth the extra two minutes of driving (I'm usually the fast one but I never stick behind another car)

BTW it's illegal in the netherlands to pass a car on the right side of the freeway. We mostly only have two lane freeways, no wonder we have the worlds most horrible traffic jams.

 

Hmmm. How very inappropriate, Chevalier.

Anyway, I always have fun with buddies when they are totally wasted, and I'm not. I can't pull an instance out of the air right now, but they're usually funny and in poor taste.

One that wasn't so funny though was in grade 9, this guy had a party in his house (well, trailer) and he got passed out early. So, being natural drunken morons, we threw all his furniture in the bon fire. The next week, his dad came to the school and got up in the auditorium and pleaded for donations. I didn't give anything, and I still feel bad about it.

 

Too true sadly enough, but I only do this on the freeway where there are no traffic lights

 

I don't know if this count...
When I go to the cinema, I often go with a friend, and we like to make comments about the movie, and LOL when we like; when we went to watch The Return of the King, we were making comments about this and that, since we read the books trilogy, we were searching mistakes and all of that, a guy 3 rows ahead went very mad about us, and finally he got out of the cinema just because we didn't stop. The same happened when we were at X-Men 2, since we read EVERY comic from Marvel and we like them so much, we thought there were too many "incongruences", but of course we know the movie isn't like the comic, but we LIKE to be that way.

 

Personally I would have kicked *you* out of the theater. If I hate anything it's people who can't be quiet in the movie theater. As a matter of fact I was thinking what to put in the 'what do you hate thread' which has been going on, and this is a good one.

 

Yeah. I so love those, as I call them, protocol struggles. Sharp as damascene, hurtful like a nasty cut, but all within the boundaries of etiquette. The fine art of being improper in a proper way

 

Chev, dude. Either etiquette is followed a little more closely in Poland, or you're like a 90 year old trapped in a 21 year old body.

 

Stealing a friend's wallet when he isn't looking when we're out somewhere and if he realises he's missing it after we've left I send him back for it, watch him fret about losing X amount of money then when he's about to panic from a nervous breakdown I hand it back to him and run like crazy.

 

Actually Jaguar...my guess is repressed sexual aggression. Chev's a hair puller deep down.

 

In my new hobby, I found out that some of the senior mountainers would put a few stones in the backpacks of unsuspecting newbies. Some of these newbies actually ended up bringing these stones home. And what a delight it was when they started sharing their "heavy" stories in the post-climb meetings.

 

Well, the only things I've ever done that would probably count here is on my nights out partying in the streets with a couple of friends (actually about 8 of us all-up) we'd make a habit of taking For Sale signs out of people's front yards and putting them in other yards, taking the white posts with the metal plates "H P" and whatever else on them, stealing traffic cones and hurling them out of cars in the general direction of passers-by (making sure of course that the cones never went close enough to risk actual injury). And one night in particular ended up with the Police chasing us out of a Supermarket parking lot. Actaully, that night we took a heap of photos and one came back with an unidentified green arc of light on it. Still looking for somewhere to get that checked out.

 

Generally I just shave odd parts off my friends hair off when they pass out first. Eyebrows, back half of their heads, one leg(no genitilia).

 

There is a girl at work I like to Irritade with a dutch song that goes like:

Ik ken een liedje dat irriteerd! Ik ken een liedje dat irriteerd! Ik ken een liedje dat irriteerd! Ik ken een liedje dat irriteerd! Etcettera ettcetera...

(It means something like: I know a song that really annoys!)

I also do Dorey quotes from finding Nemo:

No eating here tonight! No eating here tonight! No eating here tonight! You're on a diet!

And much more irritating stuff

I also do this by other people and they really get pissed after a while!

 

oh, i like the classic gags.
Step1 : whisper to Friend A to look at friend B then both of you laugh.
Step2 : spend the rest of the night telling friend B you REALLY didn't say anything about him. hehe.

tsk, nobody believes the truth because its always so unbelievable.

 

I'm bad to have around if you drink till you pass out. That's when I get evil and I have really sick and twisted friends.lol These are kinda nasty but great gags and no one got hurt.

When a friend of mine passed out from drinking one night, I took a dump on a paper towel and placed it on his chest while he was passed out. Ah the screams in the morning...lol.

Another time when two friends passed out, my friends and I stripped the pants and underwear off both of them. Then we placed one on the floor face down and the other on top and to the side of the first. Then using a spatula we later disposed of, we smeared tiny bits of watered down mayonnaise on and between the bum cheeks of the guy on the floor. The next morning they woke up screaming and yelling at each other wondering what the heck happened. We came up with a story about them getting so drunk that they just started making out and then went upstairs. With 4 people saying they had no choice to believe us.

The two were both really mad when we told them what we had done a week later. But they no longer drink so much, and still have yet to get their revenge. It's going to be painful I think... lol