Relationship Rant thread

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As per Aikanaro's suggestion in the random babbling thread, I've started this new thread

I have a paper to do for school and my girlfriend is being very annoying at the moment :/

That should be a good enough start

 

Hmmm. You know what's annoying? When a girl just won't leave you alone, just doesn't stop trying to get you, breaks up with boyfriends for you even though you've told her you're not interested...

Enagonios, is she being possessive? I hate that... you feel like asking "Can I have my own life for one or two hours a day? Please?"

 

When you break up with one and they try to guilt trip you back into a relationship...

 

well i haven't experienced this yet, thank god. it sounds like some real fatal attraction sh*t

i wouldn't say possessive, just a bit demanding and annoying i guess :/ the "you never have time for me" kinda thing gods, I hate hearing that

 

Well, lately, chev's been bugging me to go out on a date. I keep telling him I'm married, but he says he doesn't care, because he's just looking for a fling. So I might have to reconsider; he is kinda cute, after all.

 

@ Enagonios and Yirimyah - poor you guys, you've women who like you and are crazy about you... sure they may be obsessive, and kinda creepy but at least you have that much.

See my ex wanted more room as she found that I was smothering her, I was gonna give it to her the next say we saw each other when she broke up with me. What I find quite annoying is that she didn't come out and tell me that I was smothering her and being too polite/gentilmenly until her friends brought the subject up. She said she had been giving me subtle hints which when looking back I can see but at the time thought nothing of them. The worse is that on our first date I asked her to tell me if she found that I was smothering her or too ditatched and that I don't pick up on subtle hints, or obvious hints well at all; and she said she would and that I shouldn't worry.

But that didn't turn out to be the reason for why she dumped me, she said that she thought she liked me at first but actually didn't. We hadn't been going out long, about a week, but it felt as if I've known her for years. Unfortunately, as it turned out she didn't share the feelings.

Yes, I know I said most of this in RB but I decided to add it here as well.

@ Beren and Splunge - nice way to lighten the mood

 

There's plenty of fish in the sea.

 

Relationship thread, hehe... Wonder when we're going to have a relationship forum.

But on to the subject... Whenever a woman wants more room, you may start preparing for a dump. In my experience, asking for time to think almost always leads to dumping and asking for more room always leads to dumping.

@Rolsuk: The problem with your ex is probably that you couldn't possibly have pleased her because neither being a gentleman nor a brute would have satisfied her. Perhaps she wanted a normal (read: average) guy, I don't know. If she rebuked you for being too gentlemanly, it's her loss.

Yet another thing is that if you feel as if you had known the woman for years, it tends to end up in dumping. It may be because the woman sees she's going to have a problem holding things secret from you. The fact that I buy no bull**** and instantly notice when someone is trying to feed it to me has worked as a turn off. I was about to say "has worked not quite to my advantage", but that would be wrong. It's always to your advantage if you avoid a relationship with someone who is intimidated by the possibility of your reading his/her mind.

Subtle things are sometimes nice and more charitable than blunt statements, but all too often they are manipulation. Someone who won't talk to you but wants you to pick up hints possibly wants you to do as he/she wants, but without confronting you on it. This is manipulation. If you're dumped for not being manipulated easily enough, it's your gain.

On the other hand, we shouldn't be too hard on people, I think. Sometimes it feels to both people as if they had known each other for ages and their relationship advances extremely quickly, but it ends soon the moment when one party realises the other isn't the man/woman she wants to have forever. Sometimes they discover they would have nothing against having that person forever, but not at that exact time - they want to fool around for a couple more years. I believe it's not a good choice to make, but perhaps such a relationship wouldn't work at any rate. Perhaps it's good for the other person to get rid of someone who dumps the potential Mr/Miss Right because he/she wants to fool around yet.

Of course, it's a tragedy when two persons would match perfectly but one isn't ready. Well, things happen. Perhaps there's more to it than just bad timing.

Well, guys... (chiefly having in mind Garak and Rolsuk), personally, I believe in God, God's mercy and God's wisdom. I believe He always knows better and He wants good. I also believe there's no love without charity. Where there is no charity, there is no love. Perhaps lust, but not love. Lust has the appearance of fire but it's a lukewarm fire and it won't warm your heart up and shield it from cold. Charity is the real fire - it draws on its own supply of fuel - it simply burns itself, but it's never burnt to an end. It always regenerates. That's because it's sacrifice and sacrifice works this way. When someone retains nothing for himself or herself but burns everything in this sacrificial fire, there will always be something new to burn and the fire will not run out of fuel.

I suppose that's it about lightening the mood.

@Splunge: Errr... You must have got me wrong. In fact, I was telling you that I appreciated you as a friend, but our friendship must have remained purely platonic.

Oh my, can I never contain anything in one or two paragraphs?

 

It wouldn't be you if you didn't.

@chev -thanks for the advice, I too believe in God and his ultimate wisdom, and in this relationship and breakup I have learned things that wouldn't have otherwise learned. It still hurts. And she didn't break up with me for being a gentleman, that casued a fight, but she broke up because she didn't actually like me like she thought she did, or thats what she said. Meh, its for the best.

 

better off without them

 

Nay, very lonely without them, though they can be a headache and a heartache, the reward of success is worth all that (well, so I'm told, I'm still fishing...)

 

@ chev - whew! Good thing I held off on asking my wife for a divorce.

 

What I hate most is not when a woman holds to her spiritual beliefs strongly, but when they decide that just because you aren't as constantly vocal about your own beliefs or when you aren't as dedicated to the 'ritualised' practicing of your beliefs, then you MUST change your ways and become like them.

Oh, and I really get frustrated when an ex who says her feelings for you are still as strong as yours for her (break-up only caused by her parents disdain for the 7-and-a-half year age gap) keeps making plans to come back to town to visit and catch up and changing them, or when she does actually make it back and says she'll meet you when you finish work but then puts off the meeting-up until the next night.

Man, that sh**s me.

 

Or when you have trouble meeting ones close to home, but the ones that you talk to on the internet move on after a week or so. that frustrates me...

 

When they ask "Does this make me look fat" and you tell them the truth.

When you ask them "What do you want to do?" and they say they don't know then about a week later start complaining about not doing things they want to do...

Advice to girls: men like it blunt. If you don't like something we're doing, tell us. No subtle hints. Don't smile when we do it. We struggle to understand you because you struggle to tell us anything.

 

One day you men will realize that women truly rule this world and your just along for the ride. HeHe. giggles.

On a more serious note. Its human nature for the male of the species to initiate contact. Its true in almost every sense from the birds that sing a mating call to lizards that expand their necks to lightning bugs that flash. My suggestion guys. Get used to it. One day your mating ritual will work on a female and all this will seem few and far between. In the meantime I do enjoy your trying.

 

The problem isn't bagging the girl. It's trying to get her to stay there!

My problem is that when I encouter problems with girls I fight to keep the relationship going. I compromise on issues that arise yet when things get too one-sided I give them the flick. Problem is they come back a week later saying they've changed and I'm stupid enough to believe them. When they come back they've changed but they quickly fall back into their old habits and we're back to square one, except I'm still compromising. I give them the flick AGAIN and they cry, carry on and I end up feeling miserable for making someone unhappy. It's happened 4 times with different girls! It's actually becoming routine!

 

When women say (scream/shout) "Leave me ALONE" Do not leave them alone and play BG2! or else they will get in a worse mood and will say things such as "you don't care about me!"

Instead you have to give them a big hug and ask what their concerns are - of course this leads to the lady in question bashing you, but trust me its the easiest solution.

Too many nights have I been kept up to 4 am arguing over trivial matters and having to face 8 hours of work and 3 hours of college the next day.

BTW why do women want to talk about things late at night anyway?

[ February 21, 2005, 13:01: Message edited by: Cesard ]

 

Because you want to sleep and to sleep well you have to do it in a soft place (bed or sofa) and you can't just walk away. Simply a way of making sure the conversation happens.