Seven Years

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It was seven years ago. I was sitting in my cubicle, clinging to my own problems, when a got an e-mail:

Brunonephew was in the cafeteria when the gunmen entered. He's had a horrific day, but is okay.

OMG.

My nephew was sitting next to a friend (both with their white hats on) when the two little terrorists came in. Fortunately, my nephew got up and ran -- one of the teachers tried to stop him, but he ripped out of the teacher's grasp. The friend he was sitting next to was shot in the face and leg. Horrific day -- yeah, two good friends murdered and a family friend was killed trying to stop the gunmen.

On top of that my nephew felt he was a coward. He ran, he was okay, he felt guilty for being alive and well when so many others we not. Imagine feeling guilty because you lived through a tragic event.

There was a lot of knee jerk reactions to the Columbine tragedy. Most of those have gone away. I think the only good thing that has stayed is the quick response from police departments when kids make threats.

I also think we haven't done enough. Guns are still too available. Most school security policies devote more space to protecting pencils and paper than to protecting the children. And it is still too easy to get into schools.

 

I may have a different perspective on this than most people, though I suspect there are many on this board that have had similar experiences to me. In middle school and high school, I was one of the kids that was always picked on by everyone. I was the one that genuinely couldn't find a table to sit at at lunch because the other kids would physically keep me from sitting at their tables. I was the one so geeky and nerdy that even the other geeks and nerds wouldn't hang out with me because they would be picked on just for being my friend.
I wanted to kill a number of people in my schools. I thought about bringing guns to school, seriously thought about it. I even tried to kill myself several times. I got over it. I made it through.
I'm not trying to say what the Columbine kids did was right or justified, it wasn't, but I understand why they did it. I understand what pushed them to do it. I saw a friend of mine bum rush one bully and beat the crap out of him in front of several teachers. If he had had a gun, he would have shot the kid. If he had had a knife, he would have stabbed him. If he had had a pencil on him at the time (it was gymn class) he would have stabbed him.
Gun regulation isn't the answer because guns aren't the real problem. I agree that we need to work harder to keep guns out of the hands of children, but the real problem here is that the majority of society sees bullying and teasing as harmless jokes or kids being kids.
Guns don't kill people, bullies kill people.
These behaviors are dangerous, habbit-forming, and destructive to both the bully and the victim. Children have died just from the stress bullies put on them. Many more have killed themselves or others because of it. This is as serious a behavioral issue as child abuse and needs to be treated as such.

 

@NOG: I'm pretty sure that guns still kill people. One of the most common gun injuries (deaths) children have when they play with guns is accidently shooting themselves in the face. If you don't understand why, hand a man sized squirt gun to a kid with small hands and watch him try to pull the trigger. He'll inevitably squirt himself in the face since pulling the trigger will take both the kid's hands. About bullies and bullying.....these things will never go away, NOG, no matter what we do. We should obviously do everything we can, but don't ever expect it to actually accomplish much. Furthermore, if the Columbine kids only had knives, they wouldn't have gotten very far. One dude with a knife just isn't going to scare the kid in the class that goes to the Tae Kwan Do studio every week.

 

NOG: I have a problem with that. I started high school at 4'10" and 70 pounds. I was the smallest kid in the school and a common target. Not just bullies either -- the geeky kids being picked on by the bullies would come after me. I never, NOT EVEN ONCE, thought about bringing a weapon to school. Not for self-defense, not for revenge.

The problem is not the bullying -- the problem is the kids who do not know how to vent their anger and frustration. These kids do not develop the social skills to live normal lives. The coddling we do to 'help' such misfits really only causes harm -- to them and others. Instead of helping them develop the skills they need, we (as a society) excuse their oddball behavior by allowing them "to exert themselves as individuals" -- what a crock.

There comes a point that one person's "individuality" is,in reality, psychopathic behavior. This was the case in Columbine. These kids showed psychopathic tendancies and NO ONE DID ANYTHING. The ones most responsible were their parents, but we (once again, as a society) have decided that the parents cannot be responsible for their OWN DAMN CHILDREN. Give me a break. Those parents should have been incarcerated for aiding and abetting criminals -- and another chance to correct the downward spiral of society was missed.

 

T2Bruno: That attitude is likely to make the problem worse.

And as you can see, some people (like NOG) never do really get over it. The kids who get that depressed but avoid killing anyone, usually end up as bitter wrecks.

The kids who cannot handle the insane society of today need help coping with it, and the rules really need to be changed for them - judging them, medication, or any other sort of "help" which aims at making them appear more normal is next to useless.

The kids look (relatively) normal, and can't do anything about it. They usually know about it too, and it doesn't help. And it's just a matter of chance if one of explodes in that way. Limiting access to guns and explosives can limit the damage, but a person with a knife can cause death as well.

[ April 20, 2006, 22:00: Message edited by: Taza ]

 

Sorry Taza, we'll just disagree on another issue -- I believe these kids CAN be helped. We're just not doing it right. The alternative is equally horrific -- incarceration for life.

 

I'm not saying they can't be helped, but with the direction the western society is going, there's going to be more and more until their number is just too large to handle. And some will slip through the cracks.

And I believe such children can be perfectly cured within a relatively short time, when isolated from society. Re-introduction to society will re-introduce the problem however.

 

Isnt it the bullies we should "cure"? Turn the system on the bullies, not the victims. Mr cool Jock guy bullying a bunch of nerds? Fine, ship him off to special school and isolate him so he wont be allowed to spread his terror. This works both ways cause most often the worst bullies have serious problems of their own and their way of venting is to jump on people who happen to be lower on them on the social ladder.

 

I have a serious solution: make bullets cost thousands of dollars. That solves things... people won't want to waste money killing a bully, will they? I am serious by the way... make the things cost unreasonable prices and people wont buy them. If kids can't buy weapons, they won't use them.

Try doing that to hundreds of bullies at each school in each state. It will cost billions.

 

Someone has obviously been watching Chris Rock.....

 

Haha, yes, I have watched him (and that skit before), but if it could actually be implemented, why wouldn't it work? Oh, yes, the NRA would come in and complain. Maybe if they tried to regulate guns, there wouldn't be a problem... (yes, I know, they do, but obviously not well enough.)

 

So was I, dude. I was picked on because of overweight. I became almost blackhearted, completly careless of the suffering of others, with only vengeance in mind. I have some serious violent freak-outs sometimes, too. In fact, last time someone picked on me, my world vanished behind a veil of blood-red rage and I went completly berserk. When I regained consciousness, believe me that the guy was in pretty bad shape. I was told they needed six persons to succesfully stop me. The scars of being bullied are very real, and I feel them every day.

[ April 21, 2006, 06:12: Message edited by: Disciple of The Watch ]

 

@Drew:
People have been effectively killing each other for much longer than guns have been around, and as DoTW showed, even a little kid overcome with rage can be a formitable force.

T2Bruno & Taza:
I think we need both. Bullies need to be dealt with and the people they pick on that don't develope social skills need to be helped. That would have changed everything for me. As things stand now, the scars will probably never fade, but I like to think that I've seen the darkest my life can get and survived. It has certainly given me a much stronger determination than many of my fellows. I'm hardly a bitter wreck, so obviously we can be helped, but something definitely needs to be changed.

@Saber:
If these kids are planning on killing themselves, I don't think financial cost is going to be a big deal.

 

Indeed. Never underestimate the power of hatred and rage.