Sexual morality

The only sexual morality I see would be Respect. It's only decent to respect your sexual partner, as you would any other person in a social interaction. Besides that, if both adults consent, they can do whatever they want.

 

Any 2 consenting adults who are attracted to each other can have sex any which way they like. I don't see any point in depriving yourself to be honest, if you are attracted to someone and they are obviously attracted to you...

 

I agree with Barmy.

But I will wait for someone I love. I think. Maybe. Or maybe not. Eh.

 

That's what I believe. I prefer to wait for "that special someone" and keep the urges in check (which is fairly easy, just occupy your mind somewhere else) than have a gal that comes over every now and then so that I relieve myself. It's not my type, and you can't be something you're not.

Besides, the more you wait for something... the sweeter it is when you get it.

 

There's a certain danger there. Well, danger is not really the appropriate word, but what I mean is it can also be a big letdown. Let's face it, everybody's first time is rather bad (unless your a porn addict and you wrote crib notes on how it's done). If you look at sex at something that will be wonderful and you wait until you meet the right person so it'll be all the sweeter, when you actually do it, you might feel like you've waited three hours for that cool new ride in an amusement park, but the ride turns out to be a boring little "cart on a big circle" type of thing. I'm not saying that people should sleep with anybody so they'll get experience, but juste not to hold it on a pedestral, nor to think about how it's going to be, etc..

But I really respect you, and if you want to wait, all the power to you! (Me, I think practice makes perfect... )

And occupy your hand 'elsewhere' too?

 

The answer is simple. Yes, it should be saved for marriage. The reasons are either because God said so or in one of the other threads that Beren has started...

 

The answer is simple. People should have sex whenever they want as long as both parties are concenting. The reasons are because you only live once and it's pointless to deprive yourself one of life's greatest pleasures...

It's good exercise too...

 

I would venture that sex is one of the most fundamental driving forces behind human, and nearly all animal, life and should therefore not be subject to restriction. I personally could not imagine committing myself to the bonds of marriage, or even a long term relationship for that matter, without having slept with the person first because in the act of sex you come to know you're partner at a level that can only be achieved through physical intimacy. The enourmous danger is that you could marry someone without having slept with them and then discover that you are not physically and sexually compatable.
I suppose that religious people who save themselves until marriage would argue otherwise but i honestly don't think that they are in the position to do so without experience...

I suppose i must have had about 3 long term relationships since i was 16 (i am now 21) and all of those came about through knowing that i was compatable with the girl both in personality and intimately. I have been in a great deal more short term relationships where either one or the other has been disasterous and there was no way i would have been able to tell until i had actually experienced it.

As for the purely theoretical psoition of saving yourself until marriage. Well its going against the grain of what makes up a great proportion of your innate personality features, especially if you are male. And you don't have to be an evolutionary archaeologist to realise this, sex is incredibly influential in the behaviour of the human species. The fact that religious groups and teachings choose to oppress this particular drive is precisely how they work. They restrict the freedoms and rights of the masses by playing on their fears and thus establishing control. This method of control has been branded 'morality'.

 

Haha, it is. If you do it right, you'll be sore as you've never been sore before...

 

Hahaha, saving yourself for marriage isn't as easy as it seems, especially if there's an attractive female ready to go. I have been in one long term relationship in my life (I'm 19). I agree that if you don't know the person sexually, then how do you know if you're truly compatible. Also, it is GREAT exercise, lol. Just gotta make sure you're smart about it and aren't spreading offspring everywhere.

 

Well, let's say you have fifteen babies with different women. Runing around to see every runt would technically give you a better excercice than having sex. So if you're overweight, have fifteen kids...

 

your an animal - act like it

sex and procreation is ultimately what our bodies are designed for, and the purpose for our existence.

in my opinion, having sex before marriage is good experience, it leaves you less likely to crave another in marriage because youve already been there, done that.

 

It's a fact that a catalyst for many unhappy marriages is poor sexlife. Waiting for marriage may be the religiously pure way to go, but it's naive and unrealistic. Sex is NOT universally good - believe me. Some people are terrible at it. IMO, the best thing to do is to "sample the milk before buying the cow," to use a crude expression.


That said, you should only sample the milk of the cows you seriously intend to buy.

Some may wish to wait for marriage, and that's fine...if they want to risk having a crap sex life. I'm not much of a gambling man, myself. Since the possibility of divorce is something I'd like to avoid as much as I possibly can, I want to know what I'm getting into. Premarital sex within healthy, committed relationships is perfectly acceptable...and considering the 50% divorce rate in this country, argueably a necessary prerequisite.

Casual sex is not so much "immoral" as it is unwise, unsafe and unhealthy (both emotionally and physically). That's why I'm against it.

 

Most animals are quite selective about whom they mate with, especially females. And thank God as it keeps a species strong and better able to handle what the universe throws at it. So the guys (and girls?) above who are waiting for the right someone or marriage are just being selective. I say more power to them.

 

@ Death Rabbit

You left out the option of sampling, but not buying. Don't forget that it's a two-way thing (okay, maybe three or four, if you're lucky), so there is no need for marriage. Marriage is just something the christian church invented to tie itself more tightly to the society.

 

Well, I personally disagree with you there. I believe a family unit is the best way to raise children (and there's mountains of clinical evidence to back that up), and marriage solidifies a lifelong committment to do so. That you believe marriage was invented by the church to tie itself to society is your opinion, and I can't say it's a theory that doesn't have merit. But to say that's the ONLY reason marriage exists is silly. Besides, marriage wasn't "invented" by the Christian church...it also existed in Judaism and Hinduism for example, both of which are much older than Christanity.

And I didn't leave out the option of sampling but not buying. Intent to buy is what's important as far as I'm concerned; if you sample and decide not to buy, that's great - at least you know what you would've gotten yourself into.

Sampling just to sample is promiscuity, which I addressed in my last line about casual sex. I personally believe casual sex to be harmful - and frankly, stupid - but that is of course my personal opinion, shaped from my personal experience and the experiences of the many people I know whose lives have been negatively affected as a result of their philandering. As I said, I don't consider this "immoral" so much as I consider it not worth the potentially life-ruining risks, which include unwanted pregnancy, STD's, jealousy, emotional and psychological imbalance, or quite often all of the above.

But hey - whatever floats your boat, Wordplay. Feel free to screw your brains out all you want if raising children isn't a priority to you. May you gleefully test the durability of many mattresses. I don't judge you in your life choices (unlike some) I just choose and believe something different for myself.

EDIT - wrote Islam when I meant Hinduism. Staying up all night has it's drawbacks...

[ October 02, 2006, 17:01: Message edited by: Death Rabbit ]

 

Just to be nit-picky on the facts: Christianity is older than Islam.

Anyway - personally I see the whole idea of sex being immoral as a rather unfortunate one, and something which I really hope fades away with time. It doesn't make much sense to me that we should be ashamed of this rather integral part of being human...

 

I believe the 'morality' of the issue comes from the responsibility that sex can bring. Although birth control can be highly effective, it is not 100% effective. So birth control does not reduce the responsibilities associated with sex and having children (yes, the two are still linked).

In times not too long ago, an active sex life nearly always led to childbirth. The responsibilities of raising a child should be shared by both parents -- this is something which appears to be too lax in today's society. The advent of birth control has allowed sex to be viewed by some as a recreation instead of a serious matter. I believe that is a mistake.

A person should not become intimately involved with another unless they are willing to accept the consequences. Those consequences for a man are either being a parent or be willing to pay child support for 18-23 years. By the way, most courts in America determine child support on earning potential, not on actual earnings -- so consider an additional $500 per month expense while attending college just for that 'bit of exercise.'

 

@ Aik

ACK! You're right - I typed Islam and meant Hinduism. Changing...