Silly items

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Came across a Belt of Free Action as a random treasure in Morrowind. I figured it would be great, until I looked at what it did and thought it through. "Cast when Used: Cure Paralyzation on Self" Now tell me, how the heck are you supposed to use this when you're paralyzed?

And, of course, kudos go to the Boots of Blinding Speed for making it more than just a figure of speech.

So, what other freaky, freaky items have the rest of you found (in any of the games)?

 

A ring called the "Ring of Health".

Looks good, until I realize it drains health instead of heal.

 

The Banhammer and Fat Lute (phat lewt *har har*).

 

Ooh, I just remembered something: a user-submitted enchantment from a FAQ.

Okay, Slowfall I can kind of see, but...Pants of Water Breathing? Pants of Night-Eye?

 

Oh oh, just found another item.
In a fishermans shack southwest of Gnaar Mok is a hidden piece of paper. On it, one of most beautiful pieces of one-page literature I've had the pleasure of reading.
The freaky part is that it creates a whole new atmosphere at this abandoned shack, who is this mysterious fisherman and what happened to him?

[ August 09, 2006, 16:06: Message edited by: Morgoth ]

 

Stumbled upon some *pants* of levitation. Whatever.

 

I believe that's called "hoisting you by your petard".

 

Morrowind has a muffin in it, whose purpose escapes me. Oblivion has muffins, cakes, sweetrolls, etc. but they can actually be eaten or used in potion making.

 

Yeah, in the Gro-Bagrat plantation, IIRC. It has no purpose - it has the same effects than bread.

There's another weird area in Morrowind - the Clutter warehouse, where you fight some Argonian named "Lord Cluttermonkey"... and when you finally kill him, you get the "Important NPC killed, reset." message, while the guy has nothing to do with the plot whatsoever.

He wears a full Daedric armor (save for the helm and boots that beast races cannot wear) and has a cool Dwemer mace which has 0/0 charges, and you can bash with it as much as you want and it never will be depleted.

 

Of course, keeping in mind that the Clutter warehouse is a test environment, they may have just tested the functionality of the important NPC thing. By the way, Lord Cluttermonkey is Khajiit.

Other objects of interest in that cell: a crate with all armor and a crate with all weapons.

 

Err, no, he was an Argonian.

Different versions of the game, maybe?

 

Haven't played Morrowind, but I remember my friend telling me that there was some magic resistance thing when using Boots of Blinding Speed, the speed stays, but there's no more blindess. There was probably a ring or something to increase your magic resistance.

 

There are quite a lot of magic items offering magic resistance and you can make your own as well. Not the biggest fan of the speed bonus - it's a little too quick at times (particularly when playing on my older PC).

 

Nope, no different version. You sir, were correct. Guess my memory isn't as good as I thought it was.

 

Yup, MR only affects the bad stuff, but not the good stuff. So with stacking appropriate items, you could get up to 100% MR and not get blinded at all, but still have the 200 point boost to Speed. I had a similar experience with the Fourth Corner of the House of Troubles (Temple quest), where your blessing reward randomly fortifies and drains four of your abilities at the same time (Sheogarath is a wacko). Nothing went down and I thought I'd just gotten lucky, until I looked at the effect icons. I'd gotten +12 luck and -23 luck, yet my luck was up 5 points. Then I remembered my MR, 70% between the Cuirass of the Savior's Hide and Mara's Blouse, and sure enough, 30% of -23 is about -7, which combined with +12 makes a net +5.

To steer this back to the topic, the token for that pilgrimmage was the Gambolpuddy ( hehe, Gambolpuddy), a glove that when used, fortified your Agility, Intelligence, Personality, and Luck by 15-30 points for 30 seconds, and drained your Endurance, Strength, Speed, and Willpower by 15-30 points for 30 seconds. Roll 'dem bones! I think it's almost fortunate that it gets used up as a token, because otherwise you might actually be tempted to use the thing.

Then there's another Sheogarath creation, the Fork of Horripilation (say that five times fast ). It's not a pitchfork, it's not a military fork, it's not a fauchard-fork or even a trident. It's a dinner fork. A "short blade" that does 1-2 damage, with 2-3 on thrust, and has a constant effect Drain Magicka 200 points on Self, which means you've got zero magic shortly after you equip it. And you're supposed to kill not a regular netch, but a Giant Netch with this thing. (And before people offer, I already know the loophole.)