Some amusing observations on Capitalism

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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

A WELSH CORPORATION
You have two cows. The one on the left is kinda cute

 

Very insightfull knowledge on capitalism. in most jokes there is a grain of truth. Fun reading :Thumbs up:


The two cows stories could become a domestic menace :hahahaerr:

[This message has been edited by ArchAngel (edited March 12, 2002).]

 

lol. the welsh one is harsh!

 

welsh capitalism was indeed the funniest.

 

Serbian Capitalism:

You have no cows. You ate them both.

 

The French one just kills me. It's SO true. I think the Italian one probably is too- that's pretty much what Mediterranean-area France is like.

 

hehe that's funny...

CANADIAN CAPITALISM:

You have 2 cows. They die in winter eh?

[This message has been edited by Shadow_Goddess (edited March 13, 2002).]

 

There was a poster like this explaining governments with the two cows. I remember one:

FACSISM
You have two cows. The government kills you and takes both.

 

Greek Capitalism:
Sacrifice the two cows you have. Make two piles, the meat in one, and stack the bones up around it. The fat and less choice parts in anouther pile, burn the second pile.

(any who knows greek mythology will understand that one)

 

Lol!

So fun and so true...

Ara
(Trying to not to be too depressive in this afterword...)

 

An Australian Corporation.
You have two cows, put them on a boat and send them adrift.

An Afghan Coorporation.
You wished you had two cows.

A Dutch Coorporation.
You have two cows, feed them marijuana and distribute it´s milk as a new energy drink.

 

A Dutch Cooperation.
You don't have any cows, you are to scrooged* to buy one.

A Dutch Cooperation.
You have two cows, when they get old commit euthanasia on them.

A Dutch Cooperation
You have two cows, they don't wear horseshoes, but wooden shoes.

Well, enough Dutch stereotypes for one day.

*Is this the right word? You don't want to spend your money on them, even though you have enough.