Somewhere between religion and sex

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Okay - we have a problem, and we need you help!

We just moved into our new home and have been unpacking our large and extensive library. Going through our non-fiction we went alphabetical by broad topics until we got to 'Religion', followed immediately by 'Sex'. It just seems wrong to leap from a book on common prayer to sex Please, we need your help! Any ideas on what topics could come between religion and sex?

 

... but "Self Help" is already under "P" for "Psychobabble".

 

Religion and sex, mother and father of society.

Ah, yes. Religion and sex, two things that are completely different because of the moral outlook by society's natural discrimination against the enjoyable and the spiritual, as well as the prenumptual arguments about age and its jealousy for differing mediums of action...

This is an odd topic to come so soon after the loveable, heavenly Catholic or Christian or Mormon (or some other branch off of the good old Conformity Trunk) priests raped or touched or abused (place invulgar, nonchalant word for "sex fun" here) those poor, unlic.... uh unlucky children. Well, this is one situation that is proof of religion's close relation hair nets and guava juice. Why? Who knows. Sex and religion, sex and religion...hmmm... my, my, my.

God is pleased with His plans of irony - to give his own followers a destiny for pedophernalia and use His Own worship as an army-helmet against a torrent of stupid communitized fools searching for easy purpose to life - who would strip a priest of his robes because he did so to their children (how ironic!), but only after many years of uselessly looking into the brick wall of the Catholic church. Or maybe it was Christian. Both. Mormons. Hmm.

My advice - choose one type of book, Sex (mmm...) or religion (mmm...) and burn them all because a positive and negative cancel each other out, and combining Sin and Confor - er... Religion...will delete your library altogether! You will recieve a dangerous gap in reality in which your children (you must have children to be so worried about that three letter word that starts with "s-e-x", and you must be religious to mentalize it as a virtuous no-no three letter word) will fall into and never emerge, as Dante's Inferno - a pit of hell in seven layers, like the indulgent fat man's Devil's Food Cake - yes, your children will never see the beautiful light of day, because you exposed them to both RELIGION and SEX at the same time! Oh, the shame how children can be deleted from life simply by the combination of two things so morally DIFFERENT - the natural lust implanted into parts of the body that aren't God's - really - uh...Satan must've put them there...yeah.... and the useless stature of a neighbour's opinion to spiritually control another, from lust of easy getaway from truth.

Religion and sex. Mother and father of society.

 

Have you read the Bible? They cram both topics in the same book. I think it'll be alright, really. I think God would like it that way. Plus, if you already aren't ashamed of displaying the sex books, then will it matter where on the shelf they go?

 

Whenever you feel like having or reading about sex, it is always nice to have a bible close by to remind you that you should be ashamed of yourself.

Be careful what you do!
Someone up there is always watching you!

 

A number of solutions.

1) Broaden your horizon and categorize Religion in with all books on the subcategory `philosphy of life.`, now they won´t be standing next to the sex-section.(Then again, books about sex seem to fit in that category as well.......)

2) Do not categorize the ones on sex in the the non-fiction section, but that´s a matter of taste and age I guess.

3) Put the ones about religion in the fiction section, but that would make them stand next to science-fiction, now that would be improper too. (As wel as putting them into the fiction-section in the first place)

4) Stop reading about sex, practicize.....!!




[This message has been edited by Asmodeus (edited April 02, 2002).]

 

Here's one that seems to make perfect sense. Move from Relegion to Renaissance to Sex

 

Aha! Thank you for resolving our problem! A book on the relationship between Da Vinci and Machiavelli will make the perfect divider and resolve the eye-grabbing incongruity.

Thanks to all for the wonderful- and sometimes hilarious- suggestions.

Oh- and Xaelifer, we don't have kids- just mothers.

 

What is wrong with a book about sex standing next to a book about religion. If god didn't want us to have sex he would have created only one gender and another way for use to reproduce. That kinda makes sex the most important thing in live, because without it there would not be any new live. I don't now why there is such a taboo about it, everybody knows other people have sex.

Here is one of my favorite moments from The Simpsons.
Abe: Welcome home, son. I broke two lamps and lost all your mail. What's wrong with your wife?
Homer: Never mind, you wouldn't understand.
Abe: Flu?
Homer: No.
Abe: Protein deficiency?
Homer: No.
Abe: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis?
Homer: No.
Abe: Unsatisfying sex life?
Homer: N -- yes. But please, don't you say that word!
Abe: What, seeex? What's so unappealing about hearing your elderly father talk about sex? I had seeeeex.


[This message has been edited by Silverblade (edited April 02, 2002).]

 

Perhaps. . . relationships in between? Kinda makes sense.

 

there're lots of other ways to reproduce (binary fission, budding, fragmentation, parthenogenesis etc) but they don't generate as much variation. nor are they as much fun.

 

And some of them (parthenogenesis in particular) are well documented in the bible.

 

Bible does have a lot of sex in it, I remember that I was mildly squicked when I read it thorough for the first few times. Althouigh, me being only seven or eight years old might explain a lot.

But to get to the problem at hand.... Categorize sex as a sport


Ara
(Who has read the Bible thorough multiple times before the age of ten, and thus became an atheist at a very young age)

 

Yeah,

Parthenogenesis.. But WAIT! wouldbn;t that have made jesus a female?!

 

I was reading the bible when I was about 8 years old, and looked up from - oh, Leviticus I think - to ask my mother, in all innocence, what "Fornication" was. She demanded to know what filth I was reading and was speechless when I held up the Bible for her to see.

 

CL: Not necesserily! For instance male bees (drones) are born by parthenogenesis.

 

B for Bible.
B for Buddism.
C for Christianity.
S for Satanism.
S for Sex.
Who says religion means god.

But in terms of general catogories, self-help as suggested would work i think.

[This message has been edited by Arkados Blackmire (edited April 04, 2002).]

 

God damn it! I always forget those drones... wretched little haploids!

Parthenogenesis seems the way forward though, removes the two fold cost of sexual reproduction... (Vudlovak - check your email).

 

Okay Arkados Blackmire Smarty-pants does a book on the TANAKH (first five books of the Jewish/Christian scriptures) go under "J" for Judaism or "C" for Christianity? Do I use my religious background or the author's to interpret whether the TANAKH is Christian or Jewish? Taxonomy shouldn't be hobbled by such subjective issues. Hmm... where would the Library of Congress place this book?

(BTW, if you think we're bad over this Religion/Sex issue, you should have seen us with the rest of the books. "You can't put that Cleveland Amory book under "Biography- A"! It's about his cat so it goes under "Animals - Cats"! - or - wait - his cat's name is Polar Bear so should it go under "Biography - P"?" It's a good thing we found each other because most people would have divorced either one of us over this overly detail-oriented book-putting-away exercise.)

[This message has been edited by Sprite (edited April 04, 2002).]