Sorcerer's Place: The Movie

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Dateline: LA

With the block buster success of recent fantasy based movies Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings, Hollywood producers are on the lookout for the next untapped resource of drama, with rich characters and a plot that 5 year olds can follow.

Producer Hacky Durham, under the inspration of 12 cans of Red Bull, went to his favorite search engine and typed "fantasy, character, plot, immature" and hit enter.

Results ranged from a live video from Mike Tyson biting his opponent's thigh to online catalogs featuring authentic replicas of Ginsu Knives. However, one link caught his eye ... www.sorcerers.net

The media buzz that followed shook America's Left Coast. Casting and plot development began immediately.

So far, the following has been released:

Taluntain will either be played by Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom, or Haley Joel Osment.

Blackthorn TA's role was locked in by Christopher Walkin, who wants the ability to change the other actor's lines or kick them off the set at will.

Sharlp's role was handed to Jason Biggs (of American Pie fame) who was rumored to be related to the director.

Kitiara will be played by a wig-wearing Sarah-Michelle Geller.

Other roles for the film are Ashley Judd (Arwen); Gweneth Paltro (Xenecor); MTV's Mandy (Eliowen); Heath Ledger (Avahartar), Matt Damon (Lokken), and Aronold Schwartzenager (playing the dual roles of Belisarious and Mathetais).

[This message has been edited by Mathetais (edited January 30, 2002).]

 

Big_B as himself, or perhaps Jim Carrey or Tim Allen, no other could do...

 

Why not make it a pseudo-documentary, like "Blair Witch"? No fights over who plays who then.

 

Tal's line in the thrailer, "I see spammers. They're everywhere!"

 

DragonRider SkyWard played by the long awaited return of Bob Sagit.

Hacky Durham, "Being the return of Bob I think that the money will be rolling in and every other star out shined by his brilence in not knowing how to spell..."

He goes on to say that Bob will most likly have an action figurer come out with the move. "Just think of it! A Bob with ever large pop corn!"

Though we highly belive that Bob will scare the kids, preteens, and teens it's going to be a hit with every one over 30.

Bob Sagit was unavable for comment. With all the police car around our suppicions are high. We'll keep you posted, for real!

 

The illustrious Extremist will be played by Robin Williams.

 

And Slith, soon to be living the rest of his short life in agonizing pain will be played by himself.

 

Ooooh! Let Brad Pitt play Sir Yerril, a handsome, dashing, blonde knight who keeps tripping over kittens. He could be the comic releif, with a running gag of tripping over kittens.

He'll say hilarious one liners! He'll sing the feelgood song at the end! He'll do something completely unexpected towards the final showdown! Please! I look just like him! Think of the comedy!!!!

 

LOL. That's great Mat!

 

This is a good topic Mathetais. Good idea!

I think I should be played by John Goodman
That really fits me. A failed lurker that has been drawn into the dangerous addiction of spam.

 

Mathetais: I just have one question for you.

Gywneth Paltrow?

[This message has been edited by Xenecor (edited January 31, 2002).]

 

cool post mat

 

Hm... DIDN'T THEY NOTICE ME?!?!?!?!

I bet whats-her-name the 14 y/o actress from Harriet the Spy and Buffy the Vampire could play me If possible... are there a lot of 12 y/o actresses out there?!?!?!

 

Who plays me?

/me shrugs

I haven't seen ONE fourteen-year-old dark-haired, tan actress.

Can I be an actress?

 

Mollusken, the mysterious ranger of the dark woods, will be played by himself. He doesn't say much though.

 

LMLO, Matheias!

Hmmm... For me they could just get the original model for Jabba the Hutt

Ara
(Isard-wannabe and fed up with biology...)

{Edit: Had a typo in "laughing my lungs out"}

[This message has been edited by Arabwel (edited January 31, 2002).]

 

Since all of us with custom Avaatars get parts... Who beter to play me than Jason Mews!! The talkative Half of Jay and Silent Bob... And of course Keven Smith would HAVE to be there... Just for balance!!


oh and, note to Mat:
For posting this you are my new god... expect dayly prayers

[This message has been edited by ShadowDaemon (edited January 31, 2002).]

 

I'm still waiting on a reply from Matthew Brodrick, but he doesn't want to loose the hair

 

The Director apologizes for anyone who was not named or given an actor / actress to fit them. Please remember that the director was under the influence of many, many Red Bull energy drinks, Starbucks coffees, and Protien Bars (the breakfast of champions).

One further update ...
At the press junket for this up coming film, Billy Crystal surprised the world by announcing that he was going to play the role of Elminster. He is quoted as saying,

"I think I'm perfect for the part. My unquie mixture of drama and comedy fits the Elminster personality exactly. I'm especially looking forward to my first on-screen death scene, when some unknown spammer takes me by surprise at a moment of weakness, and registers my name out from under me. It's a little bloody for a PG-13 movie, but the kids will love it."

Look for the upcoming spin-off Romantic Comedies, "When Elminster met Mystra" starring Billy Crystal and Martha Stewart as Mystra .... and, "You've got Spam!" with Meg Ryan playing the role of Darien.