Spies and Espionage

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Since my fellow countryman(boy), Harbourboy, brought up Israel's cloak and dagger operations against our small yet noble country I decided to make a thread about it.

New Zealand. Most people have heard of us. Not many can find us on a map. Most think we’re part of Australia. Some think we’re close to England. There are only 4 million of us but we’re still allied to big-boy America and a proud member of the United Nations. However that doesn’t mean much. Compared to the world our military is nothing. We could invade America and they probably wouldn’t even notice.

Yet, Israel, in all their wisdom (or lack thereof) sought fit to spend resources infiltrating our borders with false passports and seeking to procure information from our government. Heck - they just had to ASK and we probably would have given them a free meal and accommodations too.

Now that their fiendish plot has been exposed, we have presented Israel with a serious ultimatum. Failure to deliver will result in severe punishment!

We demand an… APOLOGY! And if we do not receive this we shall be forced to… ASK AGAIN!

We gather that their lack of a response is due to a paralysing fear imposed by our most beautiful and awe inspiring Prime-Minister Helen (Slaughter-your-armies) Clark. And rightly so!

Obviously Israel is stalling, deciding that they are not capable of fighting a war on two fronts. Our direct access to their shores via the Pacific Ocean -> Indian Ocean -> South Atlantic Ocean -> North Atlantic Ocean -> Mediterranean Sea route can place our vast Royal Armada of 3 frigates in sight of their coast within 3 months!

Let all the world know of New Zealand’s displeasure towards Israel! We shall not cease till our demands are met! Spread the word, the day of reckoning is at hand!

…please.

 

I heard they hadn't apologised yet because there was some sort of Jewish festival on this week. Their diplomats will be back on board next week. As well as an apology, Helen Clark has also asked for a promise that they won't try and undermine the intergrity of our passport system ever again.

 

I apologise for reavealing our military secrets in reguard to the size of our navy.

 

We have a navy?!

 

Abomination - Your mighty frigates can make a shortcut - just turn right at the Indian Ocean, go northward in the Arab Sea and continue via the Red Sea. We'll be ready! Just hope the uber-friendly countries along the way will let you through. On sceond thought, who would even try to stop the New-Zealand Navy

Hey, my apology in the other thread isn't enough? I'll talk to Sharon first thing in the morning.

EDIT - BTA, spare my life!

 

We won't send our *cough* "frigates". We can send a far deadlier weapon of mass destruction. We'll send Israel Ben Lummis - the winner of NZ Pop Idol to sing outside the gates of Tel Aviv. Ha! You'll think twice before meddling with New Zealand.

notforyou - it's too late to apologise, I've already forgiven you (I've looking for the right context to say that).

 

You're sending Ben Lummis! Arghhhh! Apology taken back. AND expect Svika Pick to knock on your door any day now. Fight fire with fire.

 

Look for the sheep and the chanting rugby players.

Also, although noone has heard about it due to the US election, in our soon-to-be-held election (australia) there is a candidateless party called Enslavenz who's objective is to enslave the entire population of New Zealand. Look out Abomnination!

 

I was unaware that NZ counted as being allied to the US. I was under the impression that the US had imposed sanctions on NZ after their refusal to let the US put up nuclear bases.

 

Well in Finland we take espionage quite seriously since DDR and Soviet Union had a nasty habit of spying on about everything we had during the cold war. Espionage against the state will normally end in life in prison if the spy is a foreigner(of course our life is prison is just about 20 years in prison) and the same goes for Finnish citizen caught spying for some other state.

My personal view is that spying another western world state is extremely paranoid. I doubt we have anything that big to hide from the other. I do however understand if Israel would be spying upon their neighbours (which I'm sure they are) or if the USA would be spying on China (which they definently are). It would really nice to hear why the Israeli government sent spies to New Zealand since I can't come up with one single good reason.

 

Maybe they were trying to steal a Silmaril?

 

Don't forget about our fearsome submarine forces.

 

I have an idea, since Israel has not apologized for it's espionage in New Zealand. Let us get together the best rugby player in New Zealand and put them against a team of spies from Israel. ha ha.

I have met a couple of Kiwi's who played rugby here with some friends and they were great guys. Would NOT want to piss them off though.

 

Israel? I thought the NZ navy had it's hands busy with France!

@Splunge: And why was the Canadian submarine lurking around Ireland in the first place? Were they illegally smuggling Canadian pop stars into the UK? Were they planning to make off with the Lucky Charms? Or, given the number of Canadians of English or Scottish decent, was this some kind of Orangist plot?

 

BTA,

Do you feel that way about all forms of spying? What about corporate espionage, spyware, police searching your home without your knowledge, reading your mate's email, freelance peeping Toms? Or is it that you think are government employees entitled to do things that in private life would be considered morally wrong?

In my opinion, spying is just wrong. And it doesn't matter whether you do it for national interest or any other reason. It may not be deceitful to snoop on a country who is the stated enemy of yours - I'm still thinking the morality of that one through - but to do it to your allies is a totally unjustifiable breach of trust.

DMC, the problem with your threat is that Canada and New Zealand are both commonwealth countries. So the U.S. cannot have our moose to sort them out down under. No, it will be the moose against Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton. No holds barred, steel cage match! (I hope I can get away with one last off-topic blurt since the rest of my post was on topic. Please don't ban me, BTA).