Stupid pregnant woman...

Remove all ads!

Ok, so you know when you buy a pack of smokes in the US, there is a random warning label somewhere on the pack that says something like, "Surgeon General's Warning: Smoking during pregnancy can cause serious birth defects."

Well, my girlfriend's brother (who is the purest form of "white trash") recently knocked up his current girlfriend (who is "sleazy white trash") and they honestly believe that smoking cigarettes, drinking all sorts of beer and alcohol, and even doing drugs won't hurt her baby in any way, shape, or form.

I thought they were joking until I saw her smoking a cigarette and holding a beer! They were serious! So I told them that they better not give the baby away once it's born if it has any birth defects at all. They chose not to listen to any of the warnings, so they should have to pay for the consequences.

I don't think she, or people like her should be able to have children. Am I the only one who feels this way?

 

Kitrax, having worked in a Christmas amusement park, I am firmly of the belief that people should have to pass a basic level of competency test before they can have kids. From the sound of it, even if this kid makes it into the world without birth defects, it's going to have a pretty crappy life unless the parents clean up their behaviour. That doesn't sound likely, from your description of them.

I don't have kids, and won't for some time to come. I know that I'm not ready for that responsibility. Sadly, not everyone takes such a mature view of the situation. I don't say "sadly" out of a position of smug morality, but more because the kids in such circumstances will have a tough time at best.

 

Kitrax, I agree that there are so many people like them who should not have kids. I already feel sorry for that child.

That's why I get so riled up when people say that no homosexual should ever be allowed to adopt a kid. Because heterosexuality is no guarantee of good parenting.

But please, please, please, everyone else stay on Kitrax's topic and don't let this veer into a debate on the H word!

 

Kitrax, it's a shame. I know some really nice couples who can't have kids, and it strikes me as doubly tragic walking around seeing dicey chav parents shouting at their legions of greasy, greasy chav kids (many of whom already have piercings at ridiculously young ages; <10yo sometimes!) who just continuously shout and abuse each other and anyone else around.

Hopefully, it'll one day dawn on your brother and his partner the responsibility they hold for this new life, and they'll change its sake, for the better. Maybe it doesn't seem likely, but here's hoping. Like NonSequitir, I certainly don't plan on being a father anytime soon (I'd have to find a willing woman for one thing), and I worry about people who go in to it without realising what kids do to your life.

My older sister has two daughters - who are brilliant - but take a hell of a lot of time! My sister used to smoke, too (but don't tell Mum & Dad Magpie; they don't know!) but gave it up, for them. Of course, I think she wanted to give up anyway, and my Brother-in-Law would've been a great help to her, I'm sure, so it's not the same circumstances. I just wish the kid all the best.

 

Not by a long shot. I doubt that they really care about how their child turns out; if they did, they wouldn't even take the chance that those things might harm their baby.

 

I know that if I ever become a parent, I will never EVER smoke a cigar in their vicinity. I just think that's poor standard.

 

Dear god, the stories I could tell about absolutely ****ed up parents visiting my workplaces...

Suffice it to say that if there's one sure way to destroy anyone's faith in humanity, working in the service industry, particularly somewhere children and parents will go together, is it. Every day I see people who shouldn't be parents--but are. Every. Day.

 

That reminds me of a story that my mother told me from years back. My mother was collecting my yonger brother from school and was talking to a young mother. She was learning down to see the mothers baby in the pram, and noticed that the baby had its ears pierced. As she was about to greet the baby it said '**** Off'. My mother did not know whether to laugh or be offended. Can you imagine such language from a baby?

But back on topic, I completely agree with Kitrax, its seems to be a problem happening all over the world.

 

Tough. You can't regulate who has kids. Generations of children were born into families where the mother smoked and drank -- without many problems. The chances of birth defects is VERY remote -- granted, my wife and I are doing everything we can to cut the risks of birth defects in our baby (I've even stopped drinking during the pregnancy because I don't think it's fair to my wife). Drugs are a different issue -- serious problems there (but how many people who have a drug habit believe it's bad for them at the start).

The single biggest issue for birth defects is folic acid intake. It's truly amazing how much that one chemical means to the growing fetus. I've also heard some recent studies that small amounts of alcohol are actually good during pregnancy (perhaps a glass a day at most -- binge drinking is still bad).

How someone treats a child is more important to me -- the parents who abandon (physically or emotionally) or abuse their children are the ones I would rather see banned from having children.

Sorry Kitrax, I believe your comments to the parents were out of line. Although having lived in Salt Lake City, I realize the comments should be expected there.

 

My husband and I are very attentive parents. I never smoked/drank/or did drugs when I was pregnant. I even barely drank coffee which I normally love with a passion. If my sons noses leak I wipe them...My older son would never think of eating without using a napkin and saying thankyou for the food.(Younger son is still a baby) We don't let our children roam freely and we always ask questions about who are their playmates.

I would say that we are very good parents. My husband also has some very strong and old traditions in his family. In his culture the babies get their ears pierced. My older son has had his ear pierced since he was 7 months old and the baby will have his ear pierced when he reaches that age.

I agree that there are a lot of neglectful, abusive, or just plain stupid parents.It's sad that they don't have to pass a test to pass on genes.However, I don't think that having young children with pierced ears means that the parents are bad.

 

Actually it's quite common for young babies to have their ears pierced to help people tell if it's a girl or not. Silly but true. My sister had her ears pierced when she was young for that reason. My mom also wanted to do it then so she could make sure that they were always clen to avoid infections etc...kids and grems you know.

Depending on who you talk to, those habits they exhibit may or may not affect the bay. However the point is that they are very selfish.

They obviously do not have the child's best interest in mind. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in thinking that you should have to pass a test before being aloowed to have kids. I would fully support research to have a genetic switch put in people so they could not have kids till they passed a test to have the switch turned on.

 

This kind of thing has been around forever. Unfortunately, some low-life people don't understand the full picture of raising a child. A lot of these people suffered poor parenting themselves. It's an unfortunate and nasty little cycle.

I'm not yet a parent myself but have had a close call, and even that was one of the most sobering experiences in my life. I know for fact that when I have a children, I will look after them to the best of my ability and give them all I have to offer. I would never dream of mistreating or neglecting them.

People who have children and don't give them the due attention are absolutely on a different plane of thought to me, I'm afraid. I'll never understand this kind of behaviour.

 

Society used to have a regulatory system on who could have kids -- it was called "marriage". Those creating children out of wedlock faced intense social censure. Sadly, due to the nature of biology, the women involved in creating children out of wedlock ended up being the only ones really getting the censure, and the men were getting off almost scot free. So society did a turn and now almost seems to venerate single motherhood over marriage.

This is not to say that marriage guarantees good parenting -- I'm not that naive. However, I would say that the odds of a child with two loving, present parents are better than the odds of a child without.

As for drug, alcohol and nicotine use during pregnancy, while parents should have rights and don't deserve comments from all and sundy on "what you ought to do", the flip side of the coin is this -- children with FAS, FAE, or any of a score of difficulties brought on by parental stupidity both pre and post birth have what we in the educational world delicately term "special needs".

Dealing with special needs children requires a lot of resources, resources that the parents usually don't have. Therefore, the state pays for such things -- teacher aids, special curriculum materials, special programs, medical costs, etc. With me? OK. The $64,000 question is, where does the state get its money? Answer: Taxes. If I were to advocate NOT funding disabled kids, I'd be accused of being "uncaring", right? But I still want lower taxes, and I think the caring thing to do is to say "your utterly thoughtless, selfish, and downright stupid behaviour is going to screw up the life of the child you are carrying. And if you tell me that it's 'not my business', remember that it's MY frigging tax dollars that are going to be supporting the child that you are presently disabling, so it damn well is my business!"

I KNOW this is gonna start something ugly . . .