The Art of Communication

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For as long as human civilization has existed mankind has done all in its power to express its feelings. First in grunts and gestures. Later in simple cave drawings and now in common speech.

One should have thought that thousands of years had trained people to actually express what they mean and be understood. Today we call it communication rather than grunting. But is communication really easier than grunts and gestures? Just because we have a tongue, doesn't mean we use it very well. Just as if we owned a bible it wouldn't mean we got a ticket to heaven.

Based from watching civilization today in all its beauty, communication is perhaps the hardest task for any human to master. Just look at the middle east, noone seems to get anywhere. And still people from around the world try and get it somewhere. Or just look at ordinary conversations. How many times haven't you felt annoyed, missquoted or just plain missunderstood? Even when you thought your message was quite clear simple and logic. Are other people just mindless babboons or is there something deeper? What is it that makes communications so hard?

One reason could be that when we feel like writing something, we just type and think afterwards. Or just type while we think. But is that really it? Hardly the whole thruth. There is a strategy in chess called Profylaxis thinking. The concept is to figure out what your opponents next moves are, what his plan is, and where he is heading with it, basing your own moves upon that. Without doubt the hardest part of chess to learn. Chess isn't just building up a nice structure of your own. You have to venture into the opponent's mind.

Isn't it striking that this is perhaps the hardest part of communication too? Not to make your own points clear in an well put and fantastic rethorical dance on the keyboard, but simply to try and understand where your opponent is heading. Why he or she is typing what he or she does. Not necessarily agreeing with it.

We are playing with a double edged sword in communication. On one hand we have to convince the opponent of our views, but on the other hand we have to be able to journey into his or her mind and actually figure out his or her reality. Wheter that be a reasonable one or not, doesn't matter. If mankind will ever learn that trick, or even want to, time will tell.

Thanks for listening to a 60 seconds rant.

[This message has been edited by ArchAngel (edited April 26, 2002).]

 

Three cheers to ArchAngel, if I were old enough..Id buy you a drink for that rousing speech(no sarcasim). Ive thought about communication in such a way..and try to do so in everyday life, I try to think ahead of the person im talking to to get an idea of what will come next, doesnt always work the way I think it will, but it works more often than one could put to coincidence.
ArchAngel, its not just trying to get into their mind..you have to listen to their voice inflection, and facial expressions(obviusly very difficult online over message boards). Another way to think about it..is:
Dont look at things from only your own perspective..try to see things from their perspective..or how someone who would happen to be overhearing your conversation would think about it.
My point is merely follow what ArchAngel said..but also look at things from as many point of veiws as you can..trust me it helps out in the long run.

 

Indeed the ability for me to communicate exactly what I am thinking without others interpreting it the wrong way is something I stuggle with a lot.

If only I could hook my head up to others.

 

I believe that we as people communicate marvelously well, really. The only difficulty is that we are more emotional and less logical than we like to admit, so what is most effectively comminicated is *not* necessarily what we are trying to say. All the time it happens to me that I am telling someone something, and they are having some *other* reaction that what I am saying doesn't seem to warrant. So I have to ask myself -- OK, this guy is not getting the part about the culture broth -- what AM I communicating? Ah, apparently I am communicating that I think he's an idiot. If that isn't true -- or especially if it is -- I have to find a better way to tell him only the culture broth part. If you watch people you can see what part of your expression they are receiving. It's kind of a philosophical question but I choose to believe that anything someone is receiving from me, I am giving to them, unwittingly or not.

No matter what any two people are talking about, there is a whole unspoken subtext that is often more important than the words. I don't pretend to understand all that as well as some women do, but it is foolish to deny it. Does anyone really think their argument with their lover about cleaning the bathroom is really about cleaning the bathroom?

Now, the Middle East -- that one is no communication problem at all as far as I can see. Some people don't want Israel to exist, others want Israel to exist -- it's zero-sum. There just isn't any compromise possible.

 

Thx DeBhaal. Yeah, observing facial expressions, the voice and reading others attitudes is very rewarding. And an important art to master too.

And then there is the whole chapter of subcontext in sentences(often associated with the above). A good call Methylviolet.

[This message has been edited by ArchAngel (edited April 26, 2002).]

 

Archangel .... even the Bible agrees with your rant. Jesus' brother James has a rant of his own in James chapter 3 ...

We all make many mistakes, but those who control their tongues can also control themselves in every other way. We can make a large horse turn around and go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a tiny rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot wants it to go, even though the winds are strong. So also, the tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do. A tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is full of wickedness that can ruin your whole life. It can turn the entire course of your life into a blazing flame of destruction, for it is set on fire by hell itself. People can tame all kinds of animals and birds and reptiles and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is an uncontrollable evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it breaks out into curses against those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? Can you pick olives from a fig tree or figs from a grapevine? No, and you can't draw fresh water from a salty pool.

 

ObCatholic response: "Jesus's brother" did not mean he was son of the same mother to the Jews of the time.

Nooble, I'm reminded of Douglas Adams's bit about the Babble Fish. He said by allowing communication it caused more wars than anything else.

I'd tend to agree. Although a Vulcan mind meld with Biggimus B would be interesting.

 

A friend of mine once stated that being subtle is a lost art and so too I beleive is communication.

Communciation is like an art, in the fact that you put it out there, and it is always going to be interpreted differently by each individual. Some may see eye to eye on it, others may kinda of agree, and others cannot even see your point of view at all.

That is why it is so difficult. It is not just what you say, or how you say it, it is mostly how it is interpreted by the person you are saying it too. And that my dear friends is something that you cannot predict nor control.

It is not what you SAY, but what was HEARD.
It is not what you SHOW, but what was SEEN.
It is not what you MEANT, but what was UNDERSTOOD.

Perception is reality.

[This message has been edited by Satiana Fearbringer (edited April 26, 2002).]

 

One key to communication is observation. It's more than the spoken word that has impact. Also pay attention to the body movements and facial expression of the people you are talking to - that's why eye contact is so important.

What people DON't say is as important as what they don't. The path to becoming a good communicator is becoming a good observer. Try it. Practice it. It works!

 

Are you menacing me with that sword, Belisarichek?

 

See Shralp! Body movements...You are learning young padawan...Impressive, most impressive...

 

And that is why "communication" on the internet is so much more difficult. People use "u" instead of "you"; they use "dont tuch the lever" instead of "Don't touch the lever." Trying to short and abbreviate what is said through the digital medium makes communciation even harder than through sounds. And tone is practically impossible on the internet. When we chat or post, the only message received is what is directly typed, not what lies underneath the statement. With limits like these, understanding, or making others understand, on the internet is so much more harder. Thank goodness SP limits that a bit.

My 60 seconds rant, I guess. Although much shorter.

 

Sir Bel, that is about what i said in my post above, i didnt 'say' you had to listen to what people dont say..but that is in the message i typed if you know how to look for it(/me wonders if that would be a good way of subconscious proding).

 

Communication is what has destroyed Earth slowly and painfully and oversprinkled it with conforming idiots. It also is what rejuvenates the world, but that's mending its own problems, so it doesn't really matter. Plus it allows people like me to bitch about it and get virtually nothing accomplished but more pain and oversprinkling. What's worst is the people who don't know how to use communication for a purpose and appear on American television. Death to a world, and may all words be forgot!