The battle of Sorcerer's Place (SP fantasy)

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Okay, imagine all of us in a battle. All of us fighting for supremecy (sp) the prize is the crown for Sorcerers Place. You can ally with characters providing they agree. You can use any weapon and magic you want. They main aim of this topic is to basically have fun and just provide some light humour for the readers. All i ask in return is that you don't use language which is too graphic ie. his intestines spilt onto the ground followed by a massive cleaving blow to the head, spilling ... you get the picture okay. None of that ... think of it as if it were whacky toons or something. Even if your name isn't mentioned intially, feel free to post and pick whoever you want for a fight. Note: we also have never ending lives as most whacky cartoon characters do I'll start...

Sniper charges Sir Yerril with a light mace screaming "YEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWWW" before slamming it on Yerrils head.

"Haha! Have that you little mucker!"

 

Aikanaro sits in the grandstands, cheering on Sir Yerril of Morningmist for no apparent reason. His hand is edging towards some throwing daggers just in case the battle is going badly for Yerril, who he has a bet on.

As the battle is going very badly, he decides that throwing daggers sound like a good idea and starts hurling them at Sniper.

 

The daggers whistle past Sniper's feet, causing him to jump up and down in an odd fashion. Sniper then uses this to try and confuse Yerril and takes a step forward giving him a hefty kick in the nuts!

"Ouch!"

Sniper cringes at what he's done and imagines it applied to himself. He then turns and lobs a volley of 'magic missiles' at Aikanaro

"HA! I am invincible!"

 

"Ah crap," said Aikanaro in the way one does when there are balls of magical energy flying towards you. In an escpecialy groovy manouvour he manages to do a double backflip just so that the missiles would be well lined up to smash him in the arse.
Now falling rather ungracfuly through the air he tries the windmilling tactic to no effect. Just as he is about to hit the ground he realises that he just lost his bet. This so completly distracts him that he misses the ground completly, and so ends up flying.
Deciding the make the most of it he ripps out very cool sword and proceeds to fly straight at Sniper with it out to skewer him.

 

Sniper watches the display and claps at Aikanaro

"Very good! Very good!"

He then notes that a sword is charging right at him

"Oh poo ..."

In a desperate moment, Sniper gets his light mace and charges at the oncoming Aikanaro screaming "YEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWWW"

 

Aikanaro does a neat twist in mid air, neatly avoiding the blundering fool Sniper. Another sharp turn brings him up behind Sniper, in an attempt to shove the sword through various rather useful organs.
"ARRRRGHEEEOOOO muhah!" yelled the valient (stupid?) gambler and duel addict, forgetting that he was supposed to be in the grandstand.

 

Sniper turns around and looks annoyed

"Oi! Thats my line! Silly person"

He then clomps Aikanaro on the head with his mace

"Ave it'"

 

Aikanaro falls to the ground, misses it, and ends up floating around unconcious above the grandstands, dreaming of getting away without paying a bet, and shoveing a large pointy object in various parts of Sniper's body.

 

Sniper laughs and closes his eyes at his second victory!

oO{That crown will be mine!}

He then opens his eyes to find Aikanaro floating above his head

"How annoying ... well, if i just take his sword ..."

Sniper takes the sword from the ground and charges back into the fray where everyone else from SP is combating amongst themselves.

"YEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!"

 

Aikanaro awakes with a start, notices where he is and abruptly falls to the ground, landing on Sniper's head.
"Ouch..."

 

"YEEEE-" THUMP!

As the pile of dust clears just outside of the main battle, all that can be seen is Aikanaro sitting on the ground looking rather confused with a pair of legs and arms sticking out from under him. The hands of these arms clutch tightly to the mace and sword.

 

Harkle spots that Aikanaro and Sniper are fighting. He runs forward and utters words of fireball.

"I hope you like fire! Muhahaha!"

After that he stumbles on his robe.

"Damn! Why I must wear this stupid robe?"

 

In a panic Aikanaro pulls the areas of Sniper's body out of their anatomically incorrect places and sets about attempting to stand up. Pushing Sniper down in the process and finaly managing to hobble to his feet.
"I shall prevail!"

 

During a break in the action, Rallymama spots Chevalier sitting several rows in front of her in the grandstand. She pelts him with peanut shells.

 

Mathetais laughs as the peanuts bounce of the blasphemy-hunter's head.

Loosening his Warhammer aptly named "Pagan Pounder" he scans the arena for an unworthy adversary.

 

Bonzo starts to run around and around Mathetais making rude noises. "bluuuuuuuubrrrrrrr!" etc

[this was a great idea sniper! ]

 

AaA looks around at all the silliness, but then decides that if it's for the sake of entertainment, why not?

So she jumps into the fray, unnoticed by the orcish barbarians. She casts Improved Time Stop (a spell she created), summons some Pit Fiends, casts Protection from Evil on herself, Rally, and all the other girls on this board, then runs to hide and watch her mastery.

 

But, unbeknownst to Alustriel, TakaT was born with the innate ability to ignore the effects of all time-altering spells. He sneaks up behind her with his Daystar and Flame Tongue, and, as Alustriel notices TakaT, so begins a fierce battle of Might and Magic (pun intended) between two powerful siblings, each bestowed with powers far beyond mortal comprehension.
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*laughs at Rallymama's peanut-shell technique*

 

[lurk mode OFF]

A small figure in a corner watches the scene, quietly muttering: Blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood...

[lurk mode ON]

 

Oaz cowers and changes his name again to attempt to evade the carnage.

"And I thought the Alley was bad."