The funny thing that happened to you recently

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Come on, the world surely needs more laughter !

 

This morning Ashley ran into the kitchen and shouted 'MUMMY! There's a fly!'
'I know sweetie' I replied
'Mummy, fly doing a dance'
'That's nice darling, why don't you do a dance?'
'Yesh' Ashley then started to spin round and then fell on the floor
'Are you ok honey?'
'Fine, I fell off my fly dance'

It amused me

 

Maybe he thought he could shapeshift...

 

I went to a friend's bbq today, with another very good friend and his wife and their two year old daughter. The daughter was watched with palpable discomfort by other guests who apparently felt very uneasy about what to do with that ... a child. I handed the little angel a water pistol and kept it filled, and her busy.

That amused me. A lot. While I got a little drunk

 

My two daughters set-up a store in the gameroom this morning; taking anything from around the house and making displays and making tags for them (God, is my selling in their blood??!).

After they were finished my 8-year old asked me to shop her "store," which I did. But upon seeing her "prices," I complained that she was charging too much, and that she was obviously being "greedy." My 8-year old's comment?

"Hey, watch it, I can call my lawyer, you know." Only in America.

 

Hehehehehhehe! Economy sure makes children grow up fast!

---------- Added 6 hours, 27 minutes and 1 seconds later... ----------

Today, had an oral exam ( no pun intended!) concerning XXth Century History and Modern Political Systems. The elderly and leftist history professor was not pleased with my views on Narodowa Demokracja (long story, I will explain everything should the need arise; just for now, it was a right - wing Polish political party). I held my ground, explaining that the views concerning XXth century history and politics are mostly based on personal, subjective opinions, therefore should not be judged in any way, shape or form. The professor in question has serious hearing problems (nothing unusual, given his age), and told me to repeat... again, again, and again. I ended up actually yelling "SUBJECTIVE VIEWS ON POLITICS AND HISTORYYYYYYY!!!' so loud that the rest of the committee cringed, each and every one. Maybe it is a 'you had to be there' story, but I laughed to tears after leaving .

 

Speaking of that bbq yesterday ... I have to say that it was disorganised.

The friend who had invited me had a co-host. When I arrived, on time, a buddy and I were promptly drafted into buying the beer (with that friend, we're by now sort of used to that). No big deal. The whopper was that when we returned with the beer we learned from the somewhat impatient co-host, hands in pockets, that our duties were to include lighting and tending the barbecue. My buddy and I were equally thrilled by that, especially coming from some gal we've never met before in our lives, so I asked her:

Me: 'Hey, you're the co-host, are you not?'
Co-host: 'Well yes ...'
Me: 'What a pleasure to meet you! How you're doing?'
Co-Host: 'Well, I am very hungry, but the bbq is still not ready!'
Me: 'A bloody pity is it not?'
Co-host: '... yes'
Me: 'Thinking of it, it's marvellous bbq weather ...'
Co-host: '... yes'
Me: 'How did you spend that splendid afternoon? The weather is really gorgeous!'
Co-host: '...'

The conversation sort of faded out.

My buddy said I was being too oblique, and indeed, she didn't quite get my drift, I guess, but I have a hunch she doesn't like me now. I reciprocate. Sometimes you meet people ... ... Anyway, we ignited the fire (wet coal for that matter take that for 'disorganised'), abstained from further contributions and got ourselves drunk.

 

LMFAO! Now that made me laugh.

All this talk about kids is depressing. Now, if any of you have stories about kids running into a glass door, then please tell.


As for me...the only funny thing that happened to me today was a prank pulled on me, and my sweet revenge that followed.

At work, I have a tool box attached to my cart...it's hinged on one side and has two latches on the other side. I also added a hasp so I could put a padlock on it. Well, one of the other techs I work with decided to take about 20-30 Zip-ties, and made my tool box impossible to open...Hell, he even wrapped my padlock in Zip-ties... I had to track down some else's cart that was not locked to borrow a pair of snips. An operator told me who did it. So to get him back...I decided to retaliate. Problem was, his box was locked. No big deal, I just took a small punch and a hammer and knocked the pin out of the hinge on the back of the box. With his box now open, I promptly removed every single tool from his box, hid them, and then put the pin back in the hinge. I wish I could have seen his face when he opened his box...only to find it completely empty.


The big problem now is, how do I keep my tool box from falling victim to the same prank...

 

Hook it up so it gives people a small shock if they touch it

 

Indeed! I usually call tending the barbecue the 'Prometheuic Service', but I have ceased doing so in public since it only gets me weird looks. Too oblique as well I guess.

 

Heheheheheh! Most devious, good Sir, most devious! I guess it would have been easy to pick the lock, though, even two paper clips should do the trick. Not to mention you would gain EXP points that way. As for protection, maybe try zip - tying your padlock, the guy will see it, think you have already been pranked by someone else, and will leave the box in peace?

 

Heh, heh... TRAP SPRUNG, I guess.

 

made redundant, hated the job with every fiber of my being but no joke being skint...

 

I thought about it...but when you hook up *that* much current, it tends to melt the surrounding plastic.

 

It's been persisting it down this afternoon. Some roads are flooded and there's been thunderstorms and stuff. I looked out the window earlier and saw a big white van with 'We Clean Windows' painted on the side. I thought 'Not today you don't!'

 

I was talking with a friend yesterday and he told me a funny episode involving my loathsome ex-boss and another colleague, whom I greatly respect (as a person, for his dry wit, and as a calm, precise professional).

Point was this: My old employer held Friday meetings, where the project heads were to present their numbers. The company heads were a pretty abrasive bunch, so these meetings were generally quite unpleasant. My ex-boss hated it. Every Friday morning he was tense and suffered quietly in anticipation of what was about to come, and often needed to get himself some chemically induced backbone.

Enter the other colleague: One of these Friday morning, my ex-boss asked him whether he also felt that bad before these meetings. He nonchalantly answered: 'But why? You go there, present your numbers, and if they are bad, you discuss what can be done about it, and if nothing that can be done about it, you go look for another job.'

 

Ah! A true stoic in the XXI? Rara avis, verily!

I paid a visit to a close friend of mine. As I was leaving, he insisted that he should walk me home. Being somewhat allergic to such displays of chivalry, I politely refused. He reacted by standing in the doorway and screaming at the top of his lungs: YOU MUST GATHER YOUR PARTY BEFORE VENTURING FORTH!

 

After 6 years together my husband is still suprised by the things I say.
Tonight an advert for Big Brother came on:
Me: 'Loads of people are pissed off because there isn't going to be an eviction on Friday'
Rob: 'Oh right, why?'
Me: 'Well, someone on Facebook said it was because Davina McColl was stuck in France'
Rob: 'Is she?'
Me: 'No. Which is a shame because if her and all the crew got stuck over there then we could use the CCTV to watch all the contestants slowly starve to death over a period of several weeks which would make it more interesting.'
Rob: 'Bloody Hell Rach, that's going a bit far even for you!'

See? all these years and he clearly hasn't paid any attention to who I am!