The Knight (kind of poem)

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This is a poem I composed about a knight but it is unfinished:

There was once a noble knight,
And the fire and darkness did he fight,
But he was brave and kind,
Thus he hold his sword more tight.

When he saw the Giant "I am dead" he thought,
And less bravely he fought,
But he was otherwise taught,
And hacked his way through the lot.

Then the dark night came,
And the noble knight became,
With all this blood insane,
And he couldn't ignore the pain.

Than the Giant came near,
And the knight jumped from the rear,
And with a single blow he cut his ear,
...(I cannot find a suitable word)

That's it for now.

 

Well... technically nice, but what is the purpose of all described?

 

Faith

Dark Knight in dark night,
With a giant to fell,
Noble deeds to be done,
To make a story worth the tell.

Courage met might,
And courage wouldn't flee,
It summoned every stroke,
Against that mighty tree.

Dark Knight in dark night,
With a faith that shone,
He fought through the pain,
Noble deeds to be done.

Might met courage,
And might overcame,
Dark Knight in dark earth,
The world stayed the same.

Bluin



[ June 20, 2004, 08:25: Message edited by: Bluin ]

 

And why did you post this here?

 

The easiest way to find the right word is to rearrange the ones you have already used. If you check you should see that most of the words above are yours.

Now my question;

And why did you post this here?

 

Fair enough.

I had inspiration and composed this poem. So I posted this here to tell me your opinions... on the technical aspect.

 

Technically not all of the lines rhyme, and while they don’t necessarily have to, its obvious that that was the effect you were going for.


Ignore the next bit if you like, it’s just a bit of old waffle that I was once told.

{
Non-technically it far too simple. You are only telling one story and telling it slowly. A poem is a way of conveying a huge amount of detail using very few words, often with hidden meanings, which only become clear to the reader while the verses reverberate in their head.

It may be stretching the point but

Level one - Simple story like intro movie to Neverwinter Nights
Level two – Antithesis of David and Goliath tale.
Level Three - Work it out if you wish, its not a sentiment I wish to express.
}

If you are just using the poem as a medium to practice your English then bravo, because I can’t speak a word of Greek.

[ June 22, 2003, 04:02: Message edited by: Bluin ]