The Lords of Waterdeep

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The Lords of Waterdeep is the first instalment in my Tales of Waterdeep, the City of Splendours series. I posted this on Fan Fiction.net so i might as well post it here. Let me know what you think.

THE LORDS OF WATERDEEP

It was a warm and pleasant evening in Waterdeep on the night of the Council. Many a merry star shone down upon the high walls of Castle Waterdeep and the surrounding Castle Ward. Enveloping the cobblestones, grand mansions and elegant villas, in Shar’s (the god of night) silvery divine light. A cloaked, stern figure hurried along these grand streets, all the while muttering to himself in the Drow tongue “usstan z'klaen huertar l'blada zhal naut kyorl” (roughly translated into Common as “I must hurry, for the Council will not wait!”) He passed the slim, stone pinnacle of Ahghairon's Tower; it’s conical roof shimmering in the twilight. After sprinting through Fetlock Court (a favourite concert ground for the Bards of New Olamn College), the figure stopped at the foot of Mount of Waterdeep. There on the flank of the mountain, rose the great Castle of Waterdeep. The banners of the Lords of Waterdeep were draped along the battlements of the worthy fortress, to signal that the council was now in session. Pulling on a mask, the figure whispered a series of cantations with power-words and was whisked away, up and up, to the large oak doors of the Great Hall of the Council.

“Ah D’Tare!” A voice boomed, “how nice of you to join us…”. D’Tare’s head rose, his mask obscuring the sinister expression beneath. “Take your place among the Council as quickly as possible my friend, we must begin”. ‘The council’ was the appropriate name for the Lords of Waterdeep when they met to discuss important matters concerning the city of Waterdeep itself and the surrounding land and sea. The secretive Lords of Waterdeep, have existed for over 335 years, originally founded by Ahghairon the mage. Each Lord wears a magical mask and cloak which makes every Lord appear the same height and shape, disguises their voice and blocks all mental based spells. The Lords are made up of many different people from all around the city and of all walks of life. For all you know the local greengrocer or tavern owner could be a Lord, there is no way of knowing. The reason for this is so that the city's rulers always know what is going on in every corner of their great city, thus preventing any diabolical evil that may be developing. There is always one 'Open Lord' who does not wear the mask and cloak, the current Open Lord being Peirgieron the Paladinson.

Peirgieron rose to his feet, smoothed down his cloak, and cleared his throat. “I call this meeting to order” he said calmly “bring on the first topic of discussion”.

After a minute of hushed discussion between a group of Lords, they rose out of their padded, wooden chairs and recited in unison, “my Lord we wish to abolish capital punishment in the City of Waterdeep”. At this a roar of masked voices suddenly ensued. Peirgieron bade them to sit down and state their views one at a time. The entire council immediately hushed each other and were seated once more, for you do not defy the Open Lord. “Now…” he said calmly, “Lord Buckstroff, I believe you wish to voice your opinion on this… surprising statement?” Lord Buckstroff rose elegantly, scratched his nose behind the mask and smoothed his gown. “Thank you my Lord” Peirgieron nodded for him to continue. “By Tyr man! You wish to eradicate justice itself?! You wish to simply let murderers and villains live?! How could you possibly propose such a thing? One of the Lords from the small group rose again, “how can you say that a killing is justifiable with another killing!?” Lord Buckstroff, pointed a finger at his challenger and simply said “tread carefully, for you mess with justice itself, may Tyr damn you to the hells!” Peirgieron stood up sharply at this statement and yelled, “SIT DOWN THE BOTH OF YOU!”. Immediately both men sat down with a huff. “I am sorry my friends, but capitol punishment is justice pure and good in my eyes… I am sorry.” The man shook his head in disagreement, but said no more.

The Open Lord stood once more, “bring on the second case, quickly now, the night is old and I long for rest.” A man stood. “Ah Jake Wimsworth, how nice it is to have you here with us, please, state your case”. Jake bowed courteously. “I wish to address the matter of the increasing number of Bugbear, Goblin and Orc sightings in the last few months. Increasing numbers are appearing in the hills and woods, all signs pointing to the fact that the dark horde may be gathering outside our borders, preparing to attack he city and take the land and city for themselves. I need permission from you my Lord, to send out scout groups of our finest Rangers to investigate happenings beyond the border. Peirgieron massaged his temples and pondered on what Jake had just told him. “This is indeed grave news” he sighed and looked up to the grand, beamed ceiling above him. “Yes, take all your best scouts. If your theory proves true ride straight for Neverwinter and request and audience with Lord Nasher. Request troops and supplies. Go now, hurry!” With this Jake Wimsworth fled from the Great hall to gather his Rangers. “By the love of Lathander I pray that we are wrong”.

The council sat silent for a few minutes, contemplating the tidings brought before them. After a while the Open Lord began to speak. “I remember well the Dark Horde. Even their war cry is enough to turn even the bravest Paladin’s might. They have used the same tactic in every single battle they have ever fought. They overwhelm the enemy with sheer number until all the defenders are slaughtered or fleeing. I stood with the order of the radiant heart on the planes. Ready to fight the evil that was looming ahead of us. Fire swept around me… my sword and shield grasped firmly out in front. They charged at us… we were slaughtered in our hundreds. We were forced into a full retreat in a matter of minutes. I saw my closest friends fall to the poison darts and arrows that were sprayed at us by the thousand. I have no wish of ever seeing it all happen again.” The Lords thought they saw tears leak from Peirgieron’s old, wrinkled eyes. After another minute of silence the Open Lord drew in a deep breath, stood, proud and tall as always. “The Council is completed, you may now leave my friends, watch yourselves out there, the dark conceals many an evil thing. Even in the grand old City of Splendours, evil can still thrive. Farewell.”

The Lords shuffled out of the great oak doors, muttering to each other. Dawn was here and the birds had started to sing their morning songs, oblivious to the possible evil that may lie ahead. A milk cart rumbled by the Lords, it’s noisy wooden wheels disturbing the peace of the morning. The driver gave a courteous nod to each of the masked Lords, oblivious to their real identities.

D’Tare slipped down a back alley and removed his cloak and mask. He then closed his eyes, drew a deep breath and spoke to the City of Waterdeep itself. “Be safe, my love…”

 

A good start Z,IMHO.
Jist so that you know I've written the wizards fall in my book but I couldn't post it so I edited my post so please check it out all.

 

Normally, I'm not much for fan fiction that's already based on stuff people are already familiar with, because it tends to be somewhat unoriginal. However, I think your story is fairly good so far, despite a few grammatical errors. (Sorry, I'm a stickler for good grammar, despite the fact I'm an American.)

 

Well could you point a few out please?

 

Needs a comma after "possible". Need to readjust the period.

Needs a comma after "order" and "calmly", and readjust the period once again.

Comma after "Well" and "could".

Read a book on grammar and writing, Z, it'll help a bit. Your writing style is a tad clumsy, too, but no problem, it's fan fiction, after all, not a real novel.

[ September 09, 2002, 02:51: Message edited by: C'Jakob ]

 

Thanks Jakob, Yeah my grammer has always been a bit off.

 

Grammar*



If you feel that your spelling ain't too good either, remember that spell-check on the boards is always available.