The military that is feared the most - by its own people

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I feel it my patriotic duty as a Canadian to state, simply, that we hold the developed worlds most destructive military! Well, self destructive anyway. Excluding mad military dictators, or rogue generals, Canadian army is best known for its ascetic treatment of its soldiers. It doesn’t throw people in the middle of the ocean, per say, they just end up there when they board one of the countries instruments of destruction. We own subs that aren't water proof, our Wondrous Sea King helicopters cant fly... er, well, they can gain altitude for a minute or two, but after that well... visualize a person spitting straight up, during a downward plow-wind. Our muskets backfire, and our war-canoe leaks. It wouldn’t be so bad, however, if it weren’t for the fear we hold toward the training of our well publicized 'moose infantry.' These guys are just born mean, and with no sense of patriotic responsibility. In order for a moose to take up the red in its antlers, we must first get them to stop thinking... to take the little squirrel off their shoulder, so to speak.
But before I start babbling and make more squirrelly references, here's the point. I challenge anyone from another country to put it forth that their military is more masochistic than Canada's! Fellow countrymen: consider it your civic duty, your ‘Canaditos’, to add to my brief list of military blunders. Take up your wooden pitchforks, and help me prove beyond a doubt that the Canadian military scares its own population more than any other body of people in the world!

 

Ha! At least you have a submarine and a few other military vehicles. The Royal New Zealand Navy doesn't have any warships and the Royal New Zealand Air Force has no fighter planes or bombers. Heaven help the men and women in those branches of our elite military machine if they were ever called upon to fulfill their duties in active combat. They'd have to start flapping or paddling pretty damn fast.

 

Now we know why the Israeli's were spying in NZ. Harbourboy has been concealing the presence of their Navy

 

Wow, we have 5 ships in the NZ Navy! 1 of them is a 'replenishment' ship (a.k.a. a barge) and at at least 2 of them look rusty (there is one that does not even get a picture so I can only wonder what sort of state that one is in......)

 

@Celesialraven:

"(CNN) -- One of three sailors injured in a fire that disabled a Canadian submarine off the coast of Ireland has died, Prime Minister Paul Martin said Wednesday."

No, I agree with you entirely.

 

I know that our rifles have a habit of melting in warm weather since the stock and non-crucial parts are made out of plastic.

 

@Abomination:

IIRC, some of the rifles the Canadian military use have the same problem, except it happens after the rifle starts to overheat due to repeated use.

My ex-boyfriend is currently in the Canadian military, so I got to hear many complaints.

 

Well, at least they'll mould to the soldiers' grips. Repeated use though? Who are the Canadians fighting, and since when? A rampant plague of otters?

 

The Swedish military was in a rather sorry state for most of the cold war seeing as its purpose was to be able to fight a full scale Soviet invasion. Seeing this rather hopeless goal of the military of a nation with eight million people it would be in a sorry state no matter which state it was in. "Dont you worry lads! If Ivan comes we will drive him back into the sea, all you need to do is to kill a couple of hundred Russians each and we are home free."

 

After observing pre-Stalingrad Russian tactics that statement doesn't sound that crazy. Not to mention, you've got all those nice mountains to hide in

 

The only problem being that the mountains are on the other side of pretty much all of Sweden on the border to Norway and if we had to resort to mountain fighting it would pretty much mean we defended Norway and that is just not done! Likelier we joined the Russians in kicking Norwegian ass instead.