The Star Blades Guild vol. 2

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I didn't think i would get any readers on the last one. I asked Spell to so that was (I'm sure) the only reason she commented. However i was looking over it today and i saw that i had another comment. I didn't know whether to be thankful or just stunned, but i guess i am thankful. I must give credit to the irriligious Paladin for his support and comment on my last work. So for anyone who might be interested here is the next installment the Star Blades Guild. (I also ask for all readers to excuse any grammar mistakes or typos because i am a horrible typer, and i am used to a wrtiting program that corrects the grammar for me).


Small beads of sweat ran down Aluria's smooth elven features. Her grip on Stinger was shaky and she struggled to calm herself. For the past two hours she had ran a wild goose chase through the dusty streets of Riverrun. The men that called themselves the Star Blades had perused her dogedly and she really wasn't sure why. She had , she mused, killed one of their number in self defense, but still there were at least thirty of them after her.

Several cries sounded up ahead, and Aluria backed into a small alcove between a pair of close standing buildings. Above her Aluria heard several strange scraping noises, like claws digging into stone. She dared a look up, but there was nothing there.

Creeping as quietly as she could, Aluria moved from the alcove and back out onto the street. The Star Blades had passed, it was safe for now. Aluria whipped her head around at another sound. There was nothing but a faint shadow that moved across her vision for an instant. The shadow did not reappear.

"What in the name of the forest is going on in this place?" Alura muttered. She remebered seeing a shadow dart across her vision before, when she had met the Star Blade, she figured that it had just been one of them. But how could that last one have been a Star Blade? Would the man not have sounded the alarm when he saw her?

Shaking her head Aluria pressed on. She was doubtfull that the Star Blades would persue her into a nicer part of the city, maybe if she got to the Water Fall district she would be safe. There were many rich homes there, and concealing vines and trees for Aluria to hide in.

Aluria turned and started heading for the nicer district, but she flitting shadow stopped her again. Rasing Stinger Aluria called to it. surprsingly it answered... with a sharp and inhuman hiss.

Slowly the thing detached itself from the Shadows and came into partial view. Aluria gapped at it, open mounthed with terror. The thing was black as night, with only a pair of twinkling blood red orbs in its head that Aluria guessed must be eyes. it wasn't all that large, only standing slightly taller than Aluria. But it was a thing of hell nonetheless. it stood hunched, but its neck had grown in such a way that it supported its head in a normal uprright position. It had long arms, easily twice the reach of Alruia's and they all ended in four long, slightly curving claws. the beasts body was full of sharp spines that stuck out every which way, and its head had a thick collection of them that took on the shape of a crown of spikes.

Aluria found that she was involutarily back up. Stinger was rising, but she realized that her blade would do so little to defend her from such a thing. The demon sprang and Aluria ducked and rolled. The demon clawed the stone of the building behind her to dust in a maddening blood lust, it gave her enough time to go running down the street for her life.

The demon gave chase as soon as it realized that it was only dismantling a wall. It had not expected the elf to react with such speed. It sped down the street, closing on the fleeing elf with ease. It was about to spring, and deliver the killing blow but then a blinding blast of blue fire struk it hard from the side.

Screaming, the demon back up and looked to see what had attacked it. in the alley way there stood a woman. she was human, and beautiful, with long flowing brown hair, and deep forest green eyes. She was dressed for battle, in a light suit of chain mail. her weapon, though, was what cought the demon's eye. It was a long sword, but it glowed bright blue and had sparks of blue flame dancing around its blade.

The Fell Fiend snarled at its combatant, then charged. The woman stood there calmly rasing her hand. From her palm sprang a blast of blue fire that engulfed the demon. The Fell Fiend raored in agony and toppled to the ground. When the demon looked up again the woman was gone.

Aluria shrunk back into the shadows. She had seen something attack the demon, but she didn't know what. there had been several more roars and screams then silence. Aluria prayed that some fey spirit must have been watching over her, and she hoped that it would continue to do so.

Turning to go farther back into the shadows and away from the main street Aluria began to rush. She doubted that this demon would stop just because she swtiched the city's districts. She would have to get out of the city entierly and go into the forest where she would get help and shealter. Then, a hand grapped her from behind and spun her around. she raised Stinger to strike, but the short sword was knocked from her hand. When she finally looked at who had cought her she found a young woman's face staring back at her. She was tall, with long dark brown hair, and deep forest green eyes that Aluria thought were exceptionally beautiful. Still the girl was human and that was enough to set Aluria against her.

"Let go of me!" Aluria snapped.

The woman released her instantly, and Aluria was surprised. Whoever she was she was obviously not a Star Blade.

"Who are you?" Aluria questioned.

"My name is Seleana."

Aluria didn't recognize the name, because most people had forgetten it. Seleana had been kiled nearly three centuries ago.

"Do you know what that... that thing was?"

"I do. Its name is a Fell Fiend. A dangerous Shadow Demon." The famous demon fighter knew more than that of course, but there was no need to fill this elf in on all the specifics.

An ear piercing screech shot through the darkend alley then, and cut off anything more Aluria might have said. She was about to run, but Seleana grabbed her arm. "Come with me, I can protect you."

Aluria hesitated. she vowed that she would never trust a human. especially not a human that said they would PROTECT her. Another scream peirced the darkness, and Aluria realized that she really didn't have a chioce, she followed Seleana's lead down the alley.


This ends Vol. 2 of the Star Blades Guild. i do hope you have enjoyed it. if you have not ready the last Star Blades volume then i suggest that you do. you can find it in Creativity Surge. once again i apologize to any readers for typos of grammar mistakes. if there are any major ones plz let me know in your reply.

 

Very good, there are a few spelling errors, but nothing a bit of practice and checking won't solve.

It's very good though

 

I was afraid you wouldn't keep up with it. Very compelling action and drama. Like 8people said, just keep practicing good grammer and spelling and you'll be gold. If you don't mind I'll point out one thing: you described Seleana twice with the same words, if we found out along with Aluria about her hair and eyes it would have been better than finding out earlier and then when she did. Please, if you don't like the suggestion disregard it, but I must warn you I have plans for you. I'm desperate for some decent young fantasy writers, and you are more than decent. If you keep writing this story I will give you feedback like that from an avid fantasy reader's viewpoint in the hopes that you will become even betterer than you already are. Unless of course you don't want that.

 

Oh thank you so much! I was hoping to compell someone with this off the top of my head work (yes i made this up quite litterally as i was writing it). But i write more than just this kind of thing. if you like my work i can (if you want) e-mail you some of the book (the real thing) that i am working on. please let me know if you want me too, i would prefer to keep the book private as it is not yet ready for publishing. please let me know soon!

[ July 27, 2004, 06:05: Message edited by: The Anorian Seer ]

 

Your work is great - typos are only minor, and it's a great twist delivering this woodelf into the arms of a despised human.
I've been lazy on checking the CS as very little happens there nowadays, but I think I'll go back to frequenting - please do keep it up and post more.
And if this is indeed being made up as you write a double for you as this really shows a powerfull creative surge in you.
I do not know if your invitation extends beyond the Irreligeous Paladin, but if so please do E-mail me anything else you're willing to share: send it to Hug007_p@Hotmail.com please.

 

Sorry I haven't been on more often, Anorian Seer, I just don't have access to computer's much anymore(I moved out and after buying a motorcycle and cell phone I didn't have the cash for my own comp, I can only get on at my parent's or brother's house.) If you want me to read it I can't promise a speedy reply, but I will read it and give you what I can by way of suggestion. Keep writing, it's the goods.
smacksoul@hotmail.com