The Stella Awards 2002

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Disclaimers: 1) I'm not sure if this has been posted, so sorry if its a repeat; 2) We've talked about Stella Liebeck in the past ... I think DMC championed her, and I thing she had good reason to sue McDonald's ... nontheless she is now part of our urban mythology and I can't change the name of the award.

It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella awards. The Stellas are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.

Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonald's, the teens who allege that eating at McDonald's has made them fat, was filed after the 2002 award voting was closed. This suit will top the 2003 awards list without question.


5th place (Tied).

Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms Robertson's Son.

5th place (Tied).

19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

5th place (Tied).

Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000. !

4th place.

Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd place.

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd place.

Kara Walton of Claymont Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was trying to sneak out of the window in the Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place.

This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor Home. On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the Freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the RV left the Freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor Home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.

 

I'm still wondering why the jury is allowed in court

 

You know, reading this makes me want to sue all of these people - for my undue mental anguish.

That or just buy a gun and go on a road trip.

 

OOPS!

Page about halfway down to find Laches' post...

[Edit - DMC, you must type faster than I...]

 

dmc, I should have added that to the disclaimers, I'm confident most of this is bull ... but still fun to read.

 

I'd heard all but 3 and 4 before. Still funny though.

 

Does this only happen in USA or?
We in Norway doesn't sue everyone we (don't) know

 

Wow, I knew that the American justice systems was messed up, but thats insane.

 

It doesn't surprise me that lawyers take such cases. It does surprise me that they win. Such cases as the one with misbehaving toddler... If things had been as they are reported, whoever is responsible for the verdict should burn in hell or have his head examined. That's why I frown on the idea of jury and of democracy.

 

Your preference for oligarchy over ochlocracy worries me sometimes.

And hasn't it been established that most of this stories are fairy-tales. Lawyers are much scarier then the children eating hag, nowadays.

 

Actually democracy is the ruling of the mayority of society, there are far more stupid people than intelligent, therefor we can say that intelligence is irrelevant to democracy.

 

Lawyers, no, but I am surprised that the judges allow such cases to go to trial. Even if these instances are merely urban legend, there are plenty of real-life examples of someone wanting recompense for their own stupidity.

 

This sounds like Berlusconi's motto!

 

Yea, they have special bonus to intimidate check. I'm only a low-level student, so I get a mere +4, but such high-level honchos as Belly, Beren or DMC surely get at least thrice this amount