The tale of Glorop (ToB)

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This is the story of Glorop (19str 19con 18dex 1int 3wis 3cha). Glorop knows not from which place he did comed from but is smelled goodish. Throughout Glorop's life peoples has talked nonscences to hims about Glorop beinged a children of Bhall. Glorop could not understant this so he just killified thems. Glorop did encountorise some difficulties due to the factes that he has charismaness of the dead cow, wisdoms of well he's about as low as you cans going ands the inteligences of a doormats. This however did nots stopify Glorop from bashing anythin in sight. One day the pretty elves queens says to Glorop that hes nots good enoughs to keeping in palaces no more, Glorop was no happy but then he got his on head and found he wasses in strange forest. Then ugly thing that called itselves Illasera came along so Glorog bashed it...
I hope this little sample is good and would like to hear any comments and questions.

Cheers, Void.

 

kiddies may like it....
play a smart womans man elve
do i hear "erotic"?

 

Void, I understand that you're putting all the spelling/grammar errors and generally broken English in there because you think that's how your character with his 1 INT would write, and you're probably correct (if he could write at all), but it's very unpleasant to read. It's your choice in the end, but I for one am not going to follow this story if it takes this much effort to puzzle out what you're trying to say. I have to deal with stuff like this from my ESL students already, and they're not doing it on purpose. (-:

 

Perhaps a more third person approach would be suitable? For example; "As he buried his head in his hands and began to softly weep, the nihilistic Anomen was vaguely aware of his party's illustrious leader charging into the mind flayer dungeon clad solely in a rather tattered loincloth and swinging an impromtu bludgeoning implement around his head." You can always add snippets of Glorop's profound philospophy as quotes. eg. "Edwin sneered disdainfully at the suggestion that wizards were "squidgelly", as much objecting to the moronic half-orc's crude neologism as anything else."
Just some suggestions; good luck, however you decide to go ahead with it

 

Ok I guess if it's annoying then I'll do it from 3rd person, I'm not sure who to use yet so I'll post back later.

Cheers, Void.

 

It sounds great Void! Hope you will continue this story. And I like the first person narrative too!

 

yes, please continue it after he has read 10 books of int

 

While I like the concept, and while the narrative style can be converyed in first or thrid person effectively, I think what most people are advising is to not make them work at enjoying the story. You have a great idea for a story, but how to tell that in a manner which makes it worthwhile for the reader, rather than a chore, is what your challenge is now.

Good luck - in both the game and the storytelling.

 

Just another idea on the narative (We all have lots, don't we), maybe you could do what Mojo's doing, with the author and character as two seperate things, with the author clarifing things.