Theories (both serious or funny)

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I like to here some theories people have come across or thought up. I, the one on a never ending quest for knowledge would gladly hear any pile of trash typed on you keys.

Heres a few I found sometime in my life:
-Sorcerer's place rocks
-what goes up must come down
-If I pat that German Shepard it will bite me

 

I thought it was scientificly proved that SP rocks

hehe

and following science it's not impossible to have a rock fly up from the water after someone have thrown it in. I'd really like to see that

 

Lesseee... theories...

Sorry about the following profanity, but it is necessary for the theory to work. I am sorry if the Allmighty Admins have to edit.

Life is like sex. No matter how pleasant it is, someone gets fucked.

Ara
(Dragons in drag.... who would want to see that?)

 

My theory is: all cows must rule the world to have peace, they will send us to slaughterhouses and no animals that make war will survive.

 

I like this one i heard ...

Ogres are like onions. They have got alot of layers...

 

Are you sure ogres aren't like cakes?

My theory: If you run home because you have to pee, and you leave your keys in the car, the door to the house will be locked. If you take the time to turn the car off and bring the keys, the door will be unlocked.

 

Here are a few:

The amount of money you spend on bills grows in direct proportion to your salary.

Stupidity is refusing to become informed, ignorance is having never known the information. We need to always differentiate between these two states.

One can never truly appreciate what one has unless it has been lost.

A full house will always beat three of a kind.

The person driving the largest vehicle can always have the right of way if they want it.



[This message has been edited by Baldak Oakfist (edited March 01, 2002).]

 

Life is a bad thing - you die from it.

 

1 IS NOT a prime number

 

I have a theory about time.

Time is not a measurement of a force or alternate dimension, it is an individual experience.

This would explain why when you are bored in biology class time passes slower. If you want to have bullet-time powers like Neo. All you have to do is be really bored.

 

How do we know we're not completely crazy? What if all of us are locked up in the rubber rooms, wearing straightjackets, all the while, believing we have lives which involve posting here. What if I am a crazy, 65-year-old man living in the year 1753, believing that it is the year 2002 and that I really need to study French right now?

 

My theory is that either you are knee deep in stuff to do or you are bored out of your wits. Yóu never have the right amount of stuff do to. Either too much or nothing at all

 

One of my thigys here:
"Never start to think!
It will hurt you in many ways!
(Ah damn, does anyone in here have an aspirin?)"

People who know me, knows that I get horrible headaches every time I start to think!

This is one in Swedish, by my grandma:
"En ble som en ble, när en inte ble som en sulle!"

Translated (kinda!):
"You ended up like you did, even though you didn't turn out the way you should!"

Ps. My grandma is really GREAT!

 

Life is like a sewer: what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

 

No matter where you go...There you are.

 

I have adifferent version on that one Bel.

Nomatter where you go, bring a beer.

 

Something I thought up awhile ago(doing something I shouldnt have done, and have since quit). Put it in an English report...and got some odd looks from my teacher.
(if you are extremely religous, dont get angry at me about this, it is my thoughts.)

Humans didnt evolve, nor were they placed here by some greater being. They came from Outer-space. They landed on the island of Atlantis. Colonized it, over populated it, and some moved away, after a few generations, the island of Atlantis sank, killing everyone on it. The only survivers were the people who had moved of the island long ago. They forgot about the technology, and anything else along those lines. And have started to re-develop the technology that was lost.

--not the exact theory I had in the report. but you get the idea. it was also about a dozen pages long.--

 

Monkeys really rule the world.

Whose the real aliens?

 

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link major metropolitan areas.

 

Actually it depends on the height of the table - would humans be way larger and their tables - let's say 30cm/1ft higher - the toast would have time to half-rotate once again to land on the unbuttered side ...

"Who's afraid to get old, should hang himself early" - from my 86 year old grandma

and one in german: "Mädchen die pfeiffen und Hähnen die krähen soll man beizeiten die Hälse umdrehen!"