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Things the LOTR chars would never say!

Discussion in 'Whatnots' started by Jesper898, Dec 26, 2002.

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  1. Jesper898 Gems: 21/31
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    Remove all ads!
    Elrond: Humans are cool.

    Legolas: Damn! i'm all out of arrows!

    Frodo: Come get some!

    Gimli: HEEEEEEEEEEELP!!

    Sam: Screw you Frodo i'm going home.

    Gandalf: Muahahahaha!! i killed the Balrog without falling into a pit!

    [ December 26, 2002, 12:39: Message edited by: Taluntain ]
     
    Jesper898, Dec 26, 2002
    #1

  2. nior Gems: 24/31
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    Gollum : Wes don't wants its anymore. Not precious no mores. No, no, no, don't wants its anymore. Nice hobbits can throw its into mount dooms.

    Gandalf hypnotizing Frodo : Giiiive me the ring. Giiiive me the ring.

    Gimli : Anybody knows any voodoo witches here? Me got myself some golden locks of the Lady of Lorien.

    Gandalf : Frodo got the One Ring.
    Elrond : The elves still have their 3 rings.
    Aragorn : The 9 rings of the human lords are now under Sauron's 9 Ring Wraiths.
    Legolas : 3 or 4 of the dwarves' ring have been destroyed and the others lost.
    Gimli : You stupid elf! SNOW WHITE have the seven rings of the 7 dwarves!

    Frodo : Bilbo, why is this sword called Sting?
    Bilbo : It has been called that for A THOUSAND YEARS, found in the FIELDS OF GOLD by AN ENGLISHMAN FROM NEW YORK and a fair lady called ROXANNE when the MOON OVER BOURBON STREET shines. And IF I EVER LOOSE MY FAITH IN YOU, DON'T STAND SO CLOSE TO ME 'cause EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE it becomes FRAGILE. Oh hell!!! Don't you get it Frodo my lad, Tolkien and Sting are both Englishmen!!! Or IT'S PROBABLY ME.

    [ December 26, 2002, 06:31: Message edited by: nior ]
     
    nior, Dec 26, 2002
    #2

  3. Mauricio Eiji Gems: 4/31
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    Aragorn: Wanna get high?!

    Gimli: Damn, that Galadriel makes me horny!

    Frodo: Ah! Screw this quest, let's go get some hookers...
     
    Mauricio Eiji, Dec 26, 2002
    #3

  4. teekc Gems: 23/31
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    look this troll has a healing potion in it.

    awwww well, load the previous save game.
     
    teekc, Dec 26, 2002
    #4

  5. Aikanaro Gems: 31/31
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    Aragorn: "Arwen, I'm cheating on you."

    Frodo: "This battle I swear that I will not fall over!"

    Gimli: Ya' know, I think we should let the orcs go on their way, this is their home after all
     
    Aikanaro, Dec 26, 2002
    #5

  6. Eze Gems: 24/31
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    This is never gonna happen. But its my dream.

    Aragorn:Screw Arwen, Legolas, I want Boromir.
    Legolas:OK
    *Legolas and Arwen leave*
    *Aragorn and Boromir proceed to do NC-17 stuff*

    Why it can't happen? WHY???*cries*
    I despise Arwen. Slash rules.
     
    Eze, Dec 26, 2002
    #6

  7. ejsmith Gems: 25/31
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    Whoa!!!!!!

    Hang on.

    Legolas TOTALLY said he was out of arrows. Um. In the book, at least.

    And Gimli said he'd hit it about 5 or 6 times. Hot Gimli/Gladriel porn was on his schedule, and he even said so.

    Anyways:

    Legolas: (shooting arrows from the parapet) GET SOME! GET SOME! YEAH, BABY! GET SOME! GET SOME! GET SOME!
     
    ejsmith, Dec 26, 2002
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  8. Yerril Gems: 22/31
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    Aragorn: Oh God, I'm ugly! Someone kill me!!

    Frodo: Well, that is a midly frightening piece of Computer Animation you have there, Mr Jackson, I could almost get scared! Ho ho!

    Sam: Cartoons rock ass! Screw you, Mr Frodo, I'm going home to watch TV and make out with Rosie.

    Legolas: Whoops, I missed.

    Gimli: GOSH! Just look at the simply delightful pink dress!! I simply MUST have it! Won't somebody buy it for me! Oh go on, you big hunks!

    Pippin: I need a haggis.

    Merry: Oh no, the Nazgul scare me, I will not stab their leader in the back.

    Elrond: Tell me, Mr Anderson, what good is a phone call, if you are unable to talk?

    Galadriel: *insert something rational*

    Arwen: *insert something spoken through the mouth, and not the nose*

    Boromir: I have risen from the dead, hello everyone. Fancy some sex, Aragorn?

    Sorry, Eze, its never gonna happen.
     
    Yerril, Dec 26, 2002
    #8

  9. Eze Gems: 24/31
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    Yep, its never gonna happen.

    Galadriel:Frodo, lets make out!
    Frodo:OK!
    *proceed to do NC-17 stuff*
     
    Eze, Dec 26, 2002
    #9
  10. Morgoth

    Morgoth La lune ne garde aucune rancune Veteran

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    Sauron: Give me the ring back, I won it fair and square at the carnival, pretty please??
     
    Morgoth, Dec 26, 2002
    #10

  11. Mortensen Banned

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    [​IMG] Legolas: "Mortensen, run away with me and live in a tree house and I will wear my blonde wig forever!!" :love:
     
    Mortensen, Dec 26, 2002
    #11

  12. Dragon's Jewel Gems: 14/31
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    Legolas: Oops.

    Gandalf: Um, look guys, I feel really bad about this but...well, see, I made up the whole ring and Mordor thing, and I didn't really think anyone would take it this far. Look, I really feel bad about this....

    Faramir: While I look surprisingly like my brother Boromir, I really feel that I carry the scruffy look so much better.

    Treebeard: C'mon! Move it or lose it, slowpoke!

    Frodo: And lo, I shall rain my wrath upon mine foes! I shall smite them with mine mighty sword, and all shall tremble in my path!
     
    Dragon's Jewel, Dec 27, 2002
    #12
  13. Taluntain

    Taluntain Resident Alpha and Omega Staff Member ★ SPS Account Holder Resourceful Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) BoM XenForo Migration Contributor [2015] (for helping support the migration to new forum software!)

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    [​IMG] Gandalf: What are you all staring it? Never seen a new robe? I obviously had to buy a new one after all that tumbling down a bottomless chasm and fighting the Balrog and whatnot. Sheesh.
     
    Taluntain, Dec 27, 2002
    #13

  14. Rhythm Gems: 11/31
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    Gandalf (after smoking pipe-weed): Wh-o-oa... this is some crazy sheeeet.

    Frodo: Since you're bigger and stronger, I think you should be the Ring-Bearer, Boromir.

    Sam: Let's follow Smeagol, we can trust him.

    Elrond: Use the Ring against Sauron? Brilliant!

    Gimli: Cram... yummy!
     
    Rhythm, Dec 27, 2002
    #14

  15. Foradasthar Gems: 21/31
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    Arwen: (to Aragorn) Ugly human, get lost already. Quit dreaming about me! Arrgh, wish the damn ship came already so I could get rid of this bloke.

    Saruman: Yo Gandy, come'ere and let's have some booze. About time we forgot about that stupid trinket already anyway.

    Treebeard: Argh you sebias slowpoke! Quit jabbering and get to the point, as I've got a busy day coming tomorrow!

    Legolas: 1) I really need more practice. I never seem to hit anything with this bow of mine.
    2) I tripped!

    Gimli:
    Methinks the elf's a clumsy fool
    dumb and ugly, a fitting tool.
    He's short an ugly, hairy all over
    when shaved and clean, are the looks of an owner.

    Oh, and by the way. Make the doors longer to fit me size. And bring me no more beer, as I can't stand the strong taste of alcohol.

    Golumn: Easier, the dark side is. But not stronger.
    -Oh yes it's stronger!
    -No, no go away! It's not!
    -Ahh but it is! Search your feeling's Sméagol, you know it is true!
    -Nooooo-ooo!

    Aragorn: Ah, screw Arwen. She'll never know if I give this tootsie a little kick. Come here baby Eowen!

    Eowen: (to Aragorn) Oh my god. So long I was trapped in this castle with these smelly cowardly men, but never did I think the outside world had creatures so ugly! Ugh, get away from me you slimy beast! Where are all the ladies anyway?
     
    Foradasthar, Dec 27, 2002
    #15

  16. Rastor Gems: 30/31
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    Arwen: "I think I'm just going to strip down for the enjoyment of all the males out in the theater."

    Legolas: "Why couldn't I be a dwarf?"

    Aragorn: "I want the ring and I want it NOW!"
     
    Rastor, Dec 27, 2002
    #16

  17. lasgalen Gems: 3/31
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    haldir (+ 300 elves) to aragorn

    "oh actually, we'd thought about laying aside a hatred that's older than your race, mortal, and sparing a few of those orcs out there."
     
    lasgalen, Dec 27, 2002
    #17

  18. Mauricio Eiji Gems: 4/31
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    The Nazgul king, to Frodo:
    Frodo, I am your father...
     
    Mauricio Eiji, Dec 28, 2002
    #18

  19. Mathetais Gems: 28/31
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    Gimli: Why the heck aren't I in any of the movie trailers???!!!???

    Legolas: Is there a Walgreens near Helm's Deep, I'm plumb out of eyeliner?

    Boromir: You can't kill me off in the fist movie! I'm Sean Bean!! Where's my cameo? Where's the line of action figures?

    Gandalf (looking at the audience): Get a life!

    [ December 30, 2002, 15:39: Message edited by: Mathetais ]
     
    Mathetais, Dec 28, 2002
    #19

  20. Eze Gems: 24/31
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    Its Boromir, BTW.

    Ezellohar boinks Mathetais on the head with her Staff of Hatred of Everything -13
     
    Eze, Dec 28, 2002
    #20
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