Things you did while being totally plastered

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As this is a friday evening and I'm totally bombed away, I got this idea for a topic. So lets have it from all of you! All the insanely stupid things you did while under the influence of some sort, being intoxicated or other.

One of my favorites has to be looking at star constellations while lying on a major road. (Avedøre Havnevej to all you other danes!) This is not only stupid, but also rather hazardous!

Another story would be when I was in Sofia some months ago. This is more a story about the day after though... (Can't stay on topic in my own topic!) My friend woke me by using the phone, so I get up and just stares at the phone, wondering what's making all the noise. Then I pick up the reciever and stare at it for about a minute, before putting it down. This is then when the whole concept of a phone emerges from the fogs of memory! Been a while since last I've felt as stupid!

 

i only get drunk once, when i was 21. It was absolutely bad, worse than the worst thing. i was burning inside out, my heart cannot stop pounding in fast pace. My head was hurting, i could see my head vessels pumping blood in the mirror. Then, because i felt so bad, and because i was drunk, i started to pray. "i don't want to die, don't let me die. If i lived to see another sun, i will not drink again."

And that was the first and last time i was plastered. i stopped drinking from then.

 

I got really wasted once and my friends had to drag me home. When I woke up the next morning I had no pants on and half my right nipple was practically torn off.

I don't really get so hammered that I forget, or do really dumbass things. I just sit in the corner and quietly drink myself to sleep. I get a lot of balk over that because people like to party for some reason and don't like me bringing them down.

 

Ive got loads.

Once when I was 17 I told a 23 yr old girl that "I always get like this when I want to kiss someone". haha, what a completle dolt .

I decided it would be a good idea to walk home after a night out which took me 5 hours to walk... wouldn't be so bad I didn't have a taxi booked due 35 mins later.

That pizza fight I had two sundays ago.

Every time I dance - its hideous, trust me

That round I buy for everyone at the end of a night... because I found a twenty in my back pocket.

Baileys and lime mixed - need I say more.

Stealing a pub food menu (the big fold out stand which takes two people to carry) in
front of a CCTV camera.... nasty police made us go and apologise to the bouncer... I'm suprised he didn't deck me.

Dressing up as superman for no good reason at a very very posh university bar. My friends were dressed like batman and robin.

The list goes on but I'll spare you all the details.

 

Oh good....a how did I embarass myself thread. LOL

Ok here it goes. I have only been superbly drunk 3 times in my whole life. I only regretted the first two. (winks)

The first time I got drunk, I went out with the entention of getting as wasted as possible. I was two weeks after I had turned 21, and I was having a really rotten couple of months. So, I went out on a mission.....and boy did I achieve it!!!

First....lets just say I was smart enough to walk to the club, (it was right across from my room on an Air Force base), and I went in the company of friends. Oh yeah....and this was also the night I met my future husband! hehee

I started out at a table with a few friends, and I was drinking whatever they were buying. Oooh about two hours into it, not only was I drinking what people brought, I was drinking the drinks my friends left on the table when they went to go dance!! I cannot tell you how many drinks I had, of what kind, or on how many guys laps I had sat on. All I know, is my future husband walked in, came up to me and offered to buy me a drink. I accepted graciously, and swollowed the damn thing in one breath, then drug him out to dance.

How did I get home? Thats not real clear. I remembered at one point havng a few of my guy friends carry me, and then one saying he would take it from here....once we were at my door.

Did I throw up? OMG did I throw up! All over the bathroom, the sink, and myself! (uh yuk!) All while my room mate was laughing her head off.

Did I pass out? Aboslutely!! I woke up the next morning feeling like someone ran over me with a mack truck. I was sick for two days, and could only remember half of the evening.

Why was this stupid you might ask? Well for all the many reasons you could have called it stupid, the one thing that sticks out the most, is the one friend that stayed and removed my pants and put me into bed that night (after cleaning me off a bit and my place up), was a guy I had just met two weeks before! So...ah....anything could have happened....and I wouldn't have known it. Thank goodness he wasn't that type of guy.

The second time....not as much worth telling. It was an accident. I was in the company of people I had known for 4 years. I fell down a lot...and almost drown myself in the bath tub.

Moral of the story. Alawys drink the same (based) drinks....if you start with voka stay with voka! If your gonna do it, be sure to do it in the company of true friends....or family memebers.....and besides being really sick....you'll be just fine. Oh yeah and make sure you drink water and eat something, plus take two tylenol before going to bed.

 

Man, I have so many it won't even be funny, well some of it will.

On my 18th birthday, in Alberta the legal age is 18, so my friends and I got a keg, after that it's a blur until I was throwing up in my washroom, falling and generally having a rough time.

I've slept in feilds, cars, canoes, on a table outside of a hall, a bathtub, the hallway, a patio chair, and many other odd places.

I've done things with girls that I would never consider doing those things with while sober.

I've almost been arrested many times. Been in a few fights, ended up going on some crazy trips.

Generally when I get drunk fun things happen.

 

I agreed to get married. I don't regret it though.

 

Where to start...
I've done some pretty dumb and embarasing things while being under influence, so I'll give you some of the highlights.

-Once after a party I was riding home on my bike at 8 in the morning. the party had started at 9 the evening before and I spent my time with eating, dancing, smoking, beer, wine and wodka-tonic. I was way gone and not feeling too good anymore, so I wanted to get home and to my bed as soon as possible. Suddenly my bike came to a standstill. I had driven into a loading garbage truck... The garbage men picked me up from the street and put me back on my bike. With a firm push I was back on my way...

- I once knocked a hole in my head while dancing. I slipped in a pool of beer and bumped my head into a bar stool. At the hospital they asked me if I had been drinking and there was no point denying...

There's more...

 

- Sang "Yellow Submarine" whilst in a pink boat.
- floored my best friend with a punch, after which I started crying and calling out he's dead!
- picked a fight with four big lads after attempting to walk home but only getting lost and having to turn back.
- half fell asleep in a big hammock with children poking sticks and the like at myself and my friend (Strangely enough, there were in fact no kids there, so what the hell was poking me with a stick will have to be left imagination.)

All in one night .

 

Oh great, here we go again

Let's just say: A fine mix of one freshman girl, me riding her up against the lightswitch, big TL-lights go on and off on the dancefloor. We're apparently the centerpoint of attention, but were both too plastered to notice.

Another one is me drinking a whole bottle of Martini Fiero in about 15-30 minutes, then falling asleep on my jacket (we were in a park) Then several hours later I'm awoken by some bimbo who's asks wether I'm going to throw up or not. Luckily for me, I was just about to. I was dead tired, but had enough strength left to lift my head off of my jacket and puke right onto her shoes. Not a drop fell on my jacket.

Err... Morningstar, I think I know what was poking you, but I'm not sure you wanna know what it was

 

Oh there are many many, most of the time though I have a pretty good control over myself even when highly intoxicated but sometimes, well sometimes I pass out but for some reason my body keeps on going with someone else in charge.
In that state I have:
Been completely convinced I had superman like powers and were really really strong, I tried to pick a fight with the Swedish champion in Tae-Kwondo, thank god so did my friend somewhat know the guy and dragged me away while apologising profusely. After that I tried to throw myself through a big glass window, the tough kind, I bounced.

Another time I was convinced that I was a character from McBujold's Miles novels and I was an Barrayaran agent sent to earth for some reason I kept talking about strange conspiracies and stuff with my friends. They must have given me very strange looks that night.

Once when I was very young I had been drinking a lot and took the bus home, I was in the company of two girls I was somewhat acquinted to. When we went off at the busstop the first thing I did was to vomit then I proceeded to walk home, the problem was that the direction I was convinced lead home really lead in the completely opposite direction. Thankfully those girls finally managed to convince me that I was wrong.

The first time I got really plastered was in 8th grade, there was a school dance and I really shoudlnt have drunk that Stroh Rum. I managed to get into the dance and I spent some time running around doing strange stuff on the dancefloor before I passed out in the bathroom. For some reason someone called my mom who stormed in in a fury and grabbed me by the ear to lead me home, as we were walking out I threw up all over the coatroom.

Stroh has lead me into problem some other times too, last year my friendly friend thought it would be a good idea of me to shot two drinking glasses of that vile rum just before we were going downtown and after I already drunk 15 beers or so. That night I thought myself to be a brilliant political agitator and philosopher I planted myself in the middle of a square and started shouting, I cant remember what it was but I remember that I at the time thought it was brilliant stuff.

I wont share the most embarrassing events, they are too embarrassing but I have cut down on my drinking nowadays. I think that is for the best, I tend to get severe angst the day after.

 

err... you know, I don't really think I do.

 

@Malovae: Hmmm, Blowjob Revenge. Didn't think anyone drank those volunterily!

@Joacqin: Only tasted Stroh once in my life. That was more than enough. To those unenlightened of you, stroh has a volume of about 80%!

@Satiana: Have to go a little of topic here. Your post got me thinking a bit about the use of alcohol in different nations. In denmark, we have not so nice record of having the highest use of alcohol among young people. (Read: Children) It is allowed to buy alcohol when you turn 15, but that rule wasn't there when I was that age. Therefore a lot of my friends started at the age of 13. Me myself first joined the trend just after my 15 years birthday.

My point is going to be, that many would think that it 15 is way too young to start drinking, however I would dare hazard to say, that we as grown up people have a more controlled relationship with alcohol. At the age of 22, it is rather rare for some of us to pass out or begin puking all over the place. Ofcourse some still do, but it isn't a common thing. As people don't pass out like that, I've never heard about any raping of intoxicated people and deslike. Ofcourse we still do insanely stupid things, but hey, thats the point in drinking, isn't it?

On another comment to the Baileys and lime, don't mix milk and Bacardi Lemon. It has the same effect!

 

Never really got drunk actually, I am proud to say I know my limits (also a good sign to stop: puking )

Not to hold you out from a good story though, me my brothers and some friends last year were on the 'disco' train to Kirchbergen (skiing). Piece of advice, don't drink too much on a moving train, it doesn't really help trying to keep it all in.

Anyway we were all pretty hammered but one of my friends started to vomit in our 6 people (not sleeping) coupe (he by the way had to pay 50 euros for 'cleaning costs' to the train personell). At least he did it on the floor. My brother however puked on his pants (also in the coupe, I was fast out of that coupe BTW) and he got the brilliant while drunk idea to take off his pants and throw it out of the window of the moving train. The morning after he discovered that his very expensive and very new mobile phone was still in his pants.

So if you see a very dirty pair of pants lying near a track in germany, you may find a very nice phone.

 

• Once, I wanted to cut wood with my hand. Someone convinced me not to try that out
• When dancing with a friend, I tried something complicated that required me to support most of her weight (practically pick her up)... and guess. I was on the top
• At the same party, I was the last one standing, so there was no girl around (and no guy, but that was even better) that wouldn't have passed out already. My brain was too encumbered to noticed that and I thought they were hiding from me. I wondered why. Aloud.
• During that same party, I would grapple and lift everyone when exchanging New Year wishes.
• After that same party, When I woke up on the floor somewhere upstairs, so soon as I recalled where I was and what my name was, I noticed a strange feeling in my mouth. I put my fingers inside and pulled out a half-metre dark blonde hair. And next one. And another one. Up to this day I haven't found out whose hair that was. When they drived me home, I fell down like a tree and slept until 6pm, whereby I recalled I had to go to the church and I looked like a rock star when I got there in the same suit
• During another party, with a female friend of mine, we had a very serious discussion on who was going to take whose surname.
• A few years ago, IIRC when I was 17, in a friend's house, we drank something very cheap and vile. Some cheapass beer, some fake Curacao and an external use medicine for joints ilnesses aka Amber, 90%. I took it all en masse and it cut me off my feet, but I was fully conscious, so I had my friends carry me outside, each by one arm, and walk with me back and forth along the road to catch some fresh air and clear my stomach.
• Killed Firkraag thrice so far. It's a tradition.
• Won a heavy battle in Age of Empires 2 while I could barely hit the right units with my mouse. It had it all: bowmen, artillery, trebuchets, massive assaults.
• I was pretty pissed when I recalled I had to make prom invitations for my school for the following day. The monitor was shaking before my eyes when I wrote the touching romantic piece. When they read it at school I asked them where the hell they took that The text appeared on the final version.
• It was in Spain. There was that club, there were the drinks and there was that girl from my group. She wasn't full 15 and I was full 18. Technically, it was only dancing, but well... I still wonder how I got away with that (not everyone in a foreign country knows you're a Catholic and you wouldn't have sex, especially when you're drunk).
• In Greece, when I was 17, I went to ask the teachers about some trip on the following day. Right after two warm Heinekens.
• Also in Greece, when I was 17, I came back to the hotel after 1PM and swaying. I said to a less than straight-walking teacher, "I see you're sober too, sir".
• Yet another one from Greece. The same holidays. We had a Greek ethnic evening. The legally adult ones were allowed a sip or two of the specific wine they had, so it was on the tables. As it was white and I was 17, I mixed it with orange juice for cover. Drank 2,5 litre (have a photo, will post in the album ). Walked straight, but "'Evening girls. Could you please show me the way to our bus?" Left my camera behind, but some girls took it for me.
• Generally, the whole Greece trip was like that. Slept perhaps 20 hours in two weeks and my breakfasts consisted of two coffees, some white cheese and a fistful of olives. Then there were bus trips and evenings in the town followed by nights in clubs. I sang Latin songs from my balcony, too.
• Once in early 2002, before my prom, I threw a party in my flat in a block. By midnight we were playing and singing the national anthem while drinking for Mother Poland. I didn't really love my neighbours and didn't let them in. They also had their own party and a loud one, but tried to put the blame on me (there were like 3-4 parties at the same time in the neighbourhood). The reception wanted to see me and they were quite angry. As a realist, I knew there wouldn't be any booze when I would come back, so I asked my guests to speed up the boozing and excused myself when all the booze vanished. Then I went downstairs alone (keep the **** inside my flat, don't let anyone in and try not to puke all over my living room or I'll cut your balls off when I'm back) and convinced the reception that we were all perfectly sober and having a culturated meeting of educated youth from good houses and a good school, in order to relax and talk a bit all together before the terrifying final exams, and that it was those other parties that were the vile evil
• Wrote 40 pages print of history semestral essay in 10 hours (early 2001).
• Pretended I was a ranking priest (June 2003)
• Had multiple debates on theology and morals, soaking with formal logics and Schoppenhauer. Several AodA ones
• Once spent an hour styling my hair for a party. Didn't know why my friends snickered all the time
  
  Edit: seems I forgot about the best one. Well, not the funniest, but the best. Actually, I don't really count it between drunk adventures, but it bears the markings of alcoholic influence.
  
  I'm getting sad and sentimental as it's the most romantic moment in my life. That Autumn life had been hard for me (still haven't braced myself up after some of that) and probably so it was for my friend. During my belated birthday party, when the light had gone off long ago and most of the gentry had passed out, we danced with no shoes on, uttering single words or short phrases from time to time. I was after a litre of various random brand vodka (not counting the lesser beverage) and she had half that. However, me maintained full contact and we didn't slip, performing all the breakneck archings well, even though we weren't really trying. It didn't go further then or any time later for some reasons. Perhaps for all the tangible, crushing sadness related. Perhaps for the sake of that sole moment. I don't know. There's a lot of warm feeling and exceptional kindness in this friendship.
  
  Edit2: I also forgot chatting up my class-mates in French. Remarkably, much better French than when sober.

[ November 30, 2003, 17:20: Message edited by: chevalier ]

 

. Engaged in heated ethical debate with my best friend, another friend taped the whole conversation.
. Tried various kinds of drugs.
. Puked on many occasions.
. On a school trip to Barcelona, back when we were 14, a couple of friends and I got drunk enough to pay a visit to the ladies of the night, after that, and after a few more drinks too, we got lost trying to head back to the hotel. We made it back around 4AM and set up a covert operation to get to our room avoiding detection by the teachers. It worked, but boy did the hammer fall on us in the morning...
. Broke someone's jaw in a pogo.
. Went into a Chinese restaurant after the St-Verhaegen, paid the bill with thousands of coins.
[snip]
. Made a three hours walk home with my girlfriend by during -10°C night wearing little clothes, spent a week in bed after that.
. Rode a "cuistaxe" through busy town after drinking enough to forget my own name.
. Watched 13 consecutive episodes of Saint Seiya.
. Arm-wrestled a teacher during a school trip to Athens. And won.
. Engaged in a nocturnal political debate with a drug dealer in a Parisian subway station.
. Stuff I don't remember jack about presumably done during St-Verhaegen, St-Nicolas and trips to Louvain.
. And many, too many more.
. Did a "raki night" in Turkey, then we broke into the hotel's kitchen during the night and cooked some eggs. Got caught.

However, all of this, while it was fun at times, is over now. I still drink alcohol every now and then, but I always keep control on things.

[Removed a reference to an obscene act - Beren]

[ November 30, 2003, 03:34: Message edited by: Beren ]

 

I'm only 17, so my list is short.

When I was 15 and lived in Wales:
-Went to the fencing salle where I had been practising and challanged the "teacher" after having about a half litre of vodka. Somehow managed to not only beat him, but by a lot.
-One of the other guys asked me to hold a girl who could not stand (same night). We both fell down. I smashed my nose on the pavement.

More recently:
-Challanged two of my friends to punch-for-punch (I'll take one of you with my left and one with my right!) and didn't lose.
-Decided that it'd be a brilliant idea to take a short-cut to my house through 3 foot deep snow as opposed to an only slightly longer path along a cleared street.
-Other things I'd rather not mention at the juncture.

Inhibitions: who needs 'em?

 

I remembered more.

After we had played a show when I was still in a band I went a mission to enjoy myself with a female caller, I found two prime suspects and tried to have a threesome, but it didn't work so I enjoyed their company at seperate times that night.

During my Rum days I was at a friends house party and we were going to wander around town, being the brilliant mind I am I tried to dive through a hedge being stopped partway through by the fence I hadn't noticed.

I wasn't drinking on this night though. Instead I had injested a hallucinagenic drug more commonly called Magic Mushrooms. After leaving the very trippy party that was so full of hostility I felt sick. Those who know me, know that I'm very mellow and happy go lucky. The hostility wasn't working for me. We went for a walk and ended up at my friends house where we watched a bit of LOTR and listened to some Led Zeppelin. All of a sudden when we went back outside we were no longer Ben, Reid and Shelby, we were now Gimli, Legolis and Aragorn, and when Shelby's dad came up the hill, there was Gandolf.

It was fun,

This summer at a friends wedding I met a girl, amazingly attractive, smart, funny and totally into me. After a few drinks she was sitting in the stradled position on my lap when she said "I can't wait 'til I turn 16." The problem at the time was that I was 20 almost 21, I nearly dumped her off my lap.

 

I don't drink or do drugs, but I have minimal sugar tolerance. Thus follows a list of things I have done under the influence of Coca-Cola:

- Rolled lengthwise across a street littered with broken glass in front of an approaching car.
- Worshipped the moon for a few hours.
- Intrigued by the patterns my breath made on a swimming pool's surface, leaned too far over and fell head-first in, fully clothed.
- Stole a sieve from my friend's kitchen and put it on my head. I then forgot about it and wore it for about 4 hours before I remembered.
- Punched a camcorder I was being filmed with.
- Danced. *shudder*
- Drew blood on my friend's face by *****-slapping him after he stole my empty coke bottle.
- Jumped off a balcony.
- Walked through a wall. (It already had a biggish hole in it.)
- On a trip to Cologne, got so depressed I slept in a cupboard in someone else's room.
- Got stuck in a fireplace.
- Pulled the bannisters from someone's stairs out.
- All this plus the usual assortment of trying to walk cross-eyed, jumping up and down, spontaneous laughter, fighting, foozeball, pissing, puking, etc, etc...

 

Last summer before i join the army for my obligatory service, i went alone to a fantastic beach for a week of free camping. I arrived at noon and had to, under the literally burning sun to first find a good spot to set up my tent, and set her up. When i finished i manged to go just for a couple of dives only and when the night fell i bought some food and water and went to my tent. I made a joint, smoke it and laid down. I can still feel the sentiment, i was watching the stars and it was so clear (and with no moon) and so quiet that for a while i felt like i was on a bed in the space and was watching the whole sky slowly moving. I realised later that the whole thing lasted for 5 minutes tops but it seemed like hours. Unbelievable emotion