top 10 reasons for...

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TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH :
1. You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them.
2. You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer.
3. a. You can legally kill yourself
b. You can legally be killed
4. You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you.
5. You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks Copenhagen
is your capital.....
6. You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a
national tradition.
7. You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country
8. You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still
you've never seen your neighbours.
9. If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, blame
the Germans. If you lose your keys, blame the Germans.
10. Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN :
1. You get to speak three languages, but none of them intelligibly.
2. If other countries want to fight a war, they will do it in your
country.
3. You can brew drinks out of fruit, and still call it beer.
4. You are either
a.like the Dutch, just less efficient
b.like the French, just less romantic
c.like the Germans
5. Decent fries. Real mayonnaise. Great chocolate. The best beer.
6. No one knows anything about you, except for the Dutch and French and
they make fun of you.
7. More scandals in a week than any other country in a decade.
8. You can drive like a maniac on the road and nobody cares
9. All your famous countrymen are either imaginary, or sex-offenders
10. Face it. It's not really a country, is it?

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN :
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Give them a second chance :
1. Oktoberfest.
2. Oktoberfest-beer.
3. BMW.
4. VW.
5. Audi.
6. Mercedes.
7. On a highway you can travel at a speed that would bring you to jail
in any other country of the world.
8. You do not have to learn German as a foreign language.
9. You think Sauerkraut is delicious.
10. Contrary to common belief laughing is not forbidden by law (yet).

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH :
1. Two World Wars and One World Cup.
2. Warm beer.
3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.
4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events.
5. Union jack underpants.
6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.
7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
8. Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not.
9. Ditto changing underwear.
10. Beats being Welsh.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SCOTTISH :
1. You ain't English!
2. You ain't English!
3. You ain't English!
4. You ain't English!
5. You ain't English!
6. You ain't English!
7. You ain't English!
8. You ain't English!
9. You ain't English!
10. You ain't English!

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH :
1. You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH :
1. Guinness.
2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives.
3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road.
4. Pubs never close.
5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in second Vatican
Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex
with a condom on.
6. No one can ever remember the night before.
7. Kill people you don't agree with.
8. Stew.
9. More Guinness.
10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the
morning after a bout of sectarian violence.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH :
1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
2. Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for the first time
3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
4. If there's a war you can surrender really early.
5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on
Channel 4.
6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.
7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.
8. Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street
humiliating your sense of national pride.
9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just **** in the street.
10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN :
1. You can have a woman president without electing her.
2. You can spell color wrong and get away with it.
3. You can call Budweiser beer.
4. You can be a crook and still be president.
5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything.
6. If you can breathe you can get a gun.
7. You get to be really obese.
8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody
seems to care.
9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy".
10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN :
1. You get to pay the highest taxes in the world.
2. You can kill baby seals and eat Rudolf the Reindeer.
3. You live in total freezing darkness half the year and get 24 hour
ozone-hole radiation the other half.
4. You can get capital punishment for smoking dope.
5. You can go skiing in your knickers.
6. You get to hate the Swedes and beat the Brazilians in football.
7. You have to be a woman to get anywhere.
8. You don't need to worry about land prices rocketing -
its fairly spacious.
9. When abroad you can impress people you meet with stories about
killing polar bears and shagging penguins - and they believe you.
10. You can actually get bored with blondes.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN :
1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
2. Unembarrassed to wear fur.
3. No need to worry about tax returns.
4. Glorious military history prior to 400BC.
5. Can wear sunglasses inside.
6. Political stability.
7. Flexible working hours.
8. Live near the Pope.
9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair.
10. Country run by Sicilian murderers.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH :
1. Glorious history of killing South American tribes.
2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees.
3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc.
4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.
5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing.
6. Honesty.
7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight
clothes and risk your life in front of bulls.
8. You get to eat bull's testicles.
9. Gibraltar.
10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN :
1. Chicken Madras.
2. Lamb Passanda.
3. Onion Bhaji.
4. Bombay Potato.
5. Chicken Tikka Masala.
6. Rogan Josh.
7. Popadoms.
8. Chicken Dopiaza.
9. Kingfisher lager.
10. Aggravate everyone else by shaking your head when talking.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN :
1. It beats being an American.
2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
the ground.
3. You can play ice hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
the ground.
5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity
ratings will rise.
7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
the ground.
8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their
skins.
9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme.
10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
the ground.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN :
1. Know your great-grand-dad was a murdering bar steward that no
civilized nation on earth wanted.
2. Fosters Lager.
3. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000
years because you think it belongs to you.
4. Cricket captain not afraid to cry live on TV.
5. Tact and sensitivity.
6. Bondi Beach.
7. Other beaches.
8. Liberated attitude to homosexuals.
9. Drinking cold lager on the beach.
10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GREEK :
1. You get to shout about your culture although the only real culture
most Greeks have is what is growing between their toes.
2. The police is even more corrupt than the criminals they are
supposed to be chasing.
3. You can blow your nose in the street by pinching it between the
thumb and forefinger and trumpeting forth without everyone around
wretching their stomach contents up at the sight.
4. Old women can sport moustaches.
5. Young women can sport moustaches.
6. Men can be hairier than the average grizzly bear and not get put in
a zoo.
7. You get to call the bouzouki a musical instrument when the rest of
the world sees it as an instrument of torture.
8. You are the only nation to have lost its marbles and still wants to
let everyone else around the world know about it
9. Ridiculous bureaucracy.
10. Nana Mouskouri and Demis Roussos.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SLOVENIAN

1. you have a dwarf for president and a elf for prime minister
2. only two milion people, two national beers and a war betwen them
3. North is stil in preindustrial era and south in postindustrial
4.only one skyscraper
5. imported beer
6.first time in World Cop and immediatly
an incident
7.your government
spends half of national BDP for buying a government plane
9. only country in Europe which military uses tanks from 2.ww , has four planes and one jacht
10. 30km of sea but no border

[ August 19, 2002, 20:04: Message edited by: vonGriffin ]

 

Heh. This manages to insult Tal in two ways: bad spelling on the boards, and talking smack about Slovenia!

[ August 19, 2002, 18:44: Message edited by: SlimShogun ]

 

You call these the 10 TOP reasons?!
And that isn't insulting just Tal it's insulting all of us. (I like the first reason though )

 

LMAO! heheheheheee very humorous. BTW Which country do you come from?

 

BAHAHAHA! That's great. Insluting is the best way to make people laugh.

All of you who think that this is insulting, lighten up. Laugh a little. Just a little. I'm American I found this very funny to laugh at my county(Cananda burnt down my captial??? Never heard that one before. Must be one of those things that we left out of history books.)

 

Why insulting ? if that is the truth....

8. Yugo was the most popular car...btw

 

I love it ... as a dutch american I like that dutch was #1 and America was lame! LOL

 

Ahh like said on the Non-Spam Spam Post just ignore me. I'm currently looking for the meaning of the life so I'm a bit down right now.

 

So true.. exept we are still a sort of power... we're America's bulldog andproud of it i might add. You want new york!!!!!?????? you gotta get through US first *nashes teeth, waves union jack undies*

Oh and by the way we are still a power, we have the second strongest army in the world.

[ August 19, 2002, 20:15: Message edited by: Z-Layrex ]

 

yeah, right

 

yeah right? WE have the best soldiers in the world. We have the greatest fighting unit known to man (SAS) We have a huge air and navy force and an abundance of troops, all with high-tec equipment. the only other two nations that rival our army other than the USA is Germany and Japan.

 

/me stares at Z-Layrex in a bemused fashion.

Don't worry. Not British people are like that. And Britain's army is not 2nd strongest in the world Z.

[Edit]

Ah.. the army on its own would suck, and that's what I thought you were talking about, not all of the British armed forces. The navy is good (The SBS rival the SAS, they just aren't as famous ) buut still it is definitely not huge - there are are less than 40,000 people in the entire navy of Great Britain. There are roughly 8 people out of those qualified to fly sea harriers. Hi-tech equipment? Most ships have equipment from the 70s/80s. I also noticed you failed to mention Israel's army. They have the world;s best army, considering how they are pretty much the only army with lots of combat experience.

[ August 19, 2002, 20:39: Message edited by: Wildfire ]

 

Wildfire you have a point...

 

Just for the record...Budweiser is Czechoslovakian!

 

I found most of them funny, except for America. It should be:

1. Strongest military in the world
2. You get to 'try' and be the world police
3. Southern California
4. People like me are able to get guns, and keep them
5. Worst cars ever made: Ford, Dodge, Pontiac, and GMC
6. The NFL
7. Corrupt companies (Enron)
8. The western beaches
9. Two languages need to succeed (English, Spanish)
10. The poor and the lazy are paid for doing nothing at all


Hey, if America stopped "giving" out welfare checks, I bet that #9 would cease to exist!!! LMAO! Bush, don't seal Mexico's border, just stop freely giving out the welfare checks!

 

Hehe great.

Wondering why half of the Canadian reasons are "The only country to invade US and burn down their capital".

1. The only canadians that are REAL canadians are the american-indians.
2. English controlled Canada 200 years back when it happened.
3. That's because the americans came and burned York(Toronto) down first.

(I can't believe I got a 55 in history. I learned that much!)

(Just going along with the joke)

 

hehe

 

Well, this is as stereotypical as it can get, and I love it. I have a comments however to defend the Dutch glory.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH :
1. You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them.
Smoking plants is only legal if you are addicted and agree to get help.

2. You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer.
Making jokes about Belgians is one of our favorite activities. Even some of the Belgians can laugh about them.

3. a. You can legally kill yourself
Killing yourself is only permitted for people who kinda life like a plant, depressed people and other people who can't see a way out can't not (yet) get a Pill of Drion (I think it is called a Pill of Drion, but I'm not sure. It is a suicide pill however.)
b. You can legally be killed
Dutch crimes aren't punished enough

4. You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you.
Not everybody hate Germans.

5. You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks Copenhagen is your capital.....
Although are country is small, we are a world power, financialy and with our military, we have the best Air Force in the world. Not the largest, but we have the best planes. And not everybody thinks Copenhagen is our capital, everybody thinks Holland is in Copenhagen (which is not Holland, but Legoland).

6. You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a national tradition.
Never heard that one before.

7. You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country.
Well, our country is mostly below sea level, so dyke breaches are very dangerous.

8. You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still you've never seen your neighbours.
Sometimes I think Holland is too densely populated.

9. If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, blame the Germans. If you lose your keys, blame the Germans.
Not true, we blame it on the foreigner (read Muslims) that life in our country.

10. Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.
Your bike gets easily stolen, so I guess locks aren't really a challenge.

 

I don`t know why all people think their country has the best army. (US has the strongest but not the best)

Our "national" army sucks big time and I should know this, as a student of military defense .

Silverblade this theme was ment as a joke and fun...man you are all so touchy..

[ August 19, 2002, 23:42: Message edited by: vonGriffin ]