Unstoppable Australians

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This post will probably be of limited interest to anyone but I thought I'd update my thoughts on one of Barmy Army's favourite topics, namely, England's chances in the Ashes against Australia.

Australia are touring NZ at the moment and are well and truly pummelling us. And whilst I don't think we have a particularly menacing test team, this current Australian outfit is astoundingly good.

Adam Gilchrist is an absolute freak. I don't know what possible tactics there are to defeat him, other than changing the rules to allow catches to be taken outside the boundaries. And the fact that they can bring in people you've never heard of, like Simon Katich, and they immediately score a 100. And the unbelievable situation of Brett Lee not being good enough to get into the starting line-up. They have such amazing depth.

In the first test, we completely dominated the first two days and then ended up losing within 4 days after the Australians managed to turn the game around in one session. To beat these guys you have to play better than them all day, every day.

Anyway, in short, I don't care how well guys like Strauss and Flintoff are coming along, England does not stand a snowball's chance in hell against these superhuman Aussies in a full test series.

Oh, this post was about cricket, by the way so 99% of you can safely ignore it.

 

England have better quick bowlers than us though. They could beat Oz if they had Dan Vettori instead of Giles. In one-dayers, England will lose.

 

Actually, England beat Australia last they played in a one day game. Anything can happen in a one-off one day game but the consistency of performance required to win a test match is what makes Australia so hard to beat in the longer form of the game.

I agree that England's fast bowlers are miles better than ours but I doubt they will be any match for Ponting and Gilchrist. And just look at what Justin Langer did to Pakistan's very good fast bowling line-up last month.

 

I reckon Australia'll smash England pretty easy...I mean, the Aussies outmatch the English team in every way!

 

Faraaz, true through and through. C'mon Aussies c'mon, c'mon!!!

 

Why do I feel a bit outnumbered here?

Going on what you've said, I would have to agree with most of it. Especially the strength in depth and batting power. A lot of people over here are saying that Warne and McGrath will be the key players in The Ashes this Summer but people seem to be forgetting Adam Gilchrist (excepting you, of course). Yet again when Australia weren't going too well, Gilchrist steps up and scores 162 off 146 balls!

Talking of greats, McGrath strikes with well the new ball again and New Zealand went 55/1. This seems to happen all the time against Australia. Does anyone know what the highest opening partnership has been against Australia in the last year? Everytime I've looked at the scoreboard in that time, Australia's opponents have hardly got into double figures before they've lost a wicket. Whenever England get a big score, it's because we've had Tresco and Straussy form a good opening (and going on Tresco's past history against McGrath I don't hold out much hope).

Let's face it Harbs, NZ are a bit rubbish (Enland whitewashed them, twice I think) but all 11 England players are going to have to be at their best in all 5 Tests if we're going to have a chance of beating them. Personally, I don't see it. Yes, you read that right! I think England will lose. When it comes down to it, we don't possess the amount of quality in our side that Aus do. It's as simple as that. Although, I think our young Mr. Pietersen will play his first tests and frighten the **** out of the Aussies bowling attack...

I'm proud to say England is the 2nd best Test side in the World. But no-one can come close to the Aussies.

Anyway, that's rant enough, I'd better go to work .

 

Hmm, it's a bit boring, isn't it? We have nothing to argue about because it's a bit difficult to back anybody against Australia. Our only hope is that they become a bit weaker when the aging core of their team retires in the next few years (they're all pretty old now). This is the same comment that Darren Gough made about them in the press recently (although he can hardly talk!)

But no doubt they will wheel out a load of youngsters who are instantly brilliant in their first games.

Yes, the current NZ test team is rubbish. Daniel Vettori is single handedly carrying the team at the moment. I think that after this tour we will have to go and play Zimbabwe to get a bit of our shattered confidence back.

 

It is indeed true that putting money on any team beating the Aussies is stupity. But, for the same of argument, let's way up a few things shall we?

England haven't lost a test series in over year!

We've beaten SA on their home turf for the first time in over 40 years!

We completed a double whitewash on NZ.

We have one of the worlds best all-rounders in Freddy Flintoff.

We have former worlds no. bowler Grievous Bodily Harmison, who if he can find form again, will cause Aus a lot of trouble.

We have Hoggy who has worked hard to turn himself into a great bowler (his figures are better than Freddys and rival Harmys!).

We have one of the current worlds best openers in Strauss.

One of the most explosive up and coming batsmen in many a year in Kevin Pietersen.

We have arguably the worlds greatest pace attack.

Plus, we will be at home, which will swing things in our favour!...

... ok, I quit, we're fúcked!

One thing is for sure though. You will see a much more aggressive England than any you have seen in your life time. Michael Vaughan has really given the side an almost Australian mentallity. So you will see two teams really going for the jugular at each other. Will make for compelling viewing, I can't wait!

 

The English test team is one of the strongest for a decade. It's just a shame you're coming up against one of the strongest teams of all time.

NZ was the best one day team in the world in 2004, winning 80% of their games (an even better record than Australia). But Australia still came here and thrashed us 5-0 in the one day series.

I need to go on a quest to find a great new bowler for us (or find a way to clone Sir Richard Hadlee)......

 

England got comprehensively beaten by the South Africans in the one day series, so I predict a severe skooling by the Aussies there (again, keep an eye out for Pietersen).

Hopefully, we can give the Aussies the closest run in the Ashes that they've had for a long time. We certainly have the players to give them a game and, without meaning the sound bigheaded or blinkered, England is the only test side capable of running them close right now. Can't see us beating them though. They have an unfortunate habit for suddenly stepping up a gear when the preverbial starts to hit the fan...

 

Australia's current side is the contemporary equivalent of the West Indies in the early to mid-1980s; seemingly indomitable, full of depth and skill, talent and experience. Even when the top order fails, the middle seems to hold fast; they score like it's a one-day match and force a result one way or the other. Yes, I'm very proud about it. I don't think England will be able to beat us, even at home.

When they're in form, no-one in the world can beat these guys. On an average day, it's still a near-Herculean ask. As HB said, NZ were doing well in the first test before getting hammered in one session - over 5 days, being better than Australia's side is difficult indeed.

I wouldn't rate South Africa anywhere near as highly as I did a few years ago, although they're still a decent side. Give us a few years and we'll probably drop a little - age is probably the biggest weakness in the side. McGrath is probably the best fast bowler in the world, and he doesn't have much longer. Warne is phenomenal, but the same applies to him. Australia won't sink like a stone, not with players like Katich and Clarke coming up, but it's hard to see where the next Gilchrist or McGrath is coming from.

@ HB: I'm not upset about Lee missing the one-day side; he's better in Tests, and gives away far too much in one-dayers. I've always felt he was overrated, although he's definitely a good bowler. If only Chris Cairns was playing test matches for NZ... that guy is amazing, and the tsunami relief match that had him and Ponting at the crease at the same time was incredible to watch.

@ Tassadar: Vettori is a marvel - one of only two bowlers I get nervous watching (Muralitharan is the other), because he's so damn good. I think England might need God to step into the team as well... oh wait, he's keeping wicket for Australia - scratch that idea!

@ Barmy: If Vaughan has given England the killer instinct that Australia has, then it'll be great cricket to watch. I don't think they've got the depth or skills to match Australia, but as you said, if there's anyone that can do it, England is it (or India at home... hang on, apparently not).

 

@Harbourboy: India did pretty well when they last toured Australia, in fact didn't they win?

 

Gods above... at one time New Zealand were 3/2 against Australia! That was horrible!

 

Terthe - India seem to be the closest thing that Australia have to a bogey team. Not sure why that is.

 

India have more than one good spinner. If no one has noticed yet, they struggle against: Vettori, Harbhajan, Kumble, Kartik, even Pakistan's Kaneiria (spelling?). Even Paul Wiseman gets them out. To beat Australia, you need very good slow bowlers/spinners.

 

I don't know Tassadar, it depends were the games are being played that dictates which bowlers are going to be the most successful. That's the deciding factor. And one English grounds, pace bowlers bear most fruit. Why do you think we never have any good spinners? The pitches here are too soft and don't breed decent spinners.

 

Hmm, but our pitches are similar English ones and we have no good pace bowlers (and one OK spinner). We suck.

 

Well, without meaning to sound argumentative, I'd say that the pitches in NZ are a bit harder surface than the heavily rained upon pitches we have here. Southern hemisphere and all that.

 

@ Harbourboy

We have good pace bowlers, but they're all injured!

Talking about guys like Shane Bond, Geoff Allott, even Dion Nash.

 

Barmy - our surfaces get loads of rain (witness the weather saving our butt in the last test). Actually our low slow soft pitches favour dibbly-dobbly slow medium bowlers, which is why we seldom have any good fast bowlers or spin bowlers.