Yes, I'm a Bad American by George Carlin

Remove all ads!

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level
governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican! I'm in touch with
my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not
entitle you to anything, you don't work for!

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.
And if you are a citizen of the United States start speaking the language.

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than
working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the billm to put
your pansy ass through 4 years plus, of college, you haven't begun to be
enlightened.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where
they want to.

My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled
Jerry Springer.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when
I'm freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying, paying, paying?

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years In the
desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or
been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut-the-Hell-up
already.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson
practices, which branch of the Government he gets his money, and why he
is always part of the problem and not the solution.

Can I get an AMEN on that one?

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running
from them. I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you're
breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you
deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the
next four years.

I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap
or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people
should be targets.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents,
a married man and woman.

I believe if she has her lips on your Willie, it's sex, and this applies even
if you are President of the United States.

And what the hell is going on with gas prices... again?

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American. If you
are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.
We need our country back!

 

I did not read the whole song but what I did was pretty funny.
One thing caught my eye though, it was about the burger seller that should speak the language. What is the language of the US? I was under the impression that the USA do not have an official language. That English may be the most widespread language but that it is not the official one. I can be wrong as I cant remember from where I have got it but I am fairly sure.

 

Yeeehhhhaaawwwww! What a post! I'd like to hear the song, if as Joacquin said it is one. That described everything I believe in. I especially like the business about no having owned a slave or burned a witch. I always hate it when liberals get this sanctimonious look on their face and say "we're ALL racist!" WTF does that mean? I have never turned a qualified person down for a job (I've never hired anyone!), I have never physically abused ANYONE, regardless of skin color. I have never donated money to the KKK, Aryan Nations or any other white supremist group. There is zero evidence out there that anyone could gather that would come anywhere close to convicting me of being a racist, SO DON'T TELL ME I AM ONE!

 

*Ahem* It's actually not a song, it's a rant, and it's not actually written by George Carlin, who would have used far worse language. It's just written in his particular style. I'm not saying it isn't *good*, I'm just saying....

 

Amen, I must be a bad American too.

On the Jesse Jackson thing ... oh Heck Yeah, Amen & get him out of town!

 

I think English is the official language of the U.S. People are free to speak what they wish, of course, but as this rant mentions, the majority language is English! Learn it! When I was in Japan, I didn't expect everyone to speak English.

 

Last I heard the U.S.A. does not have an official language. I remember hearing about government debates that were going on back in 2001 about whether or not to make English the official language but I never heard about whether this was actually enacted into law. Maybe someone from the U.S. could let us know?

 

I am a Bad American as well.
Amen: I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents,
a married man and woman.

Amen: I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American

 

LOL, we may not be a superpower, but we Brits still have one advantage. We can always take back our language! Then where will you be? Eh? Eh?

 

Eh? Eh? NUKE ENGLAND!!

Oh, wait, Canada has no bombs. Oh, well, it's all for the best -- I still want to see London and Stonehenge, not to mention a few other UK sites, so maybe we'd be better off just sharing the language and keeping the nukes in their silos (or better yet, scrapping them!)

 

I'm pretty sure thats George, DJ. Elios just can't put the "nice" words in Seen him twice, great comedian Yes, I'm a very bad american

 

There's two different versions, but if you get it as an email, then it's not Carlin. I (sort of) have proof!

Snopes.com

[ March 20, 2003, 03:52: Message edited by: Dragon's Jewel ]