You Might Be Addicted to BGII/DND If...

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You Might Be Addicted to BGII/DND If...

You have more than two daughters named Imoen or Nalia.

You always walk in the same stiff-legged fashion and the exact same speed.

You can't find your car because you walk everywhere you go.

When someone asks what you've been doing lately you describe what your BGII character has been doing.

In all of your dreams, everyone who is sleeping over with you falls unconscious before anything happens.

You have used ShadowKeeper to edit every single CRE file in the game, no exceptions.

Your girlfriend left you for the guy who beat you in Tekken Tag Tournament.

When you are asked to name a famous black man in school, the first name that comes to mind is Drizzt Do'Urden.

You can't help but laugh at a Santa's-factory depiction of an elf.

You think that all cats are either orange, black, or spotted.

When reading any kind of fantasy book (like Harry Potter), you picture it in your head as a BGII cutscene.

The lead fighters in your multiplayer game are named Fat Albert, Mushmouth, and Dumb Donald.

You use the ctrl-6/ctrl-7 cheats at the beginning of every loaded game.

You've ever had sex in front of four people and they didn't say anything at all.

Every person you've ever encouraged to play BGII named their character Legolas and you got annoyed.

You use Shadowkeeper to put the portraits back on Garrick, Faldorn, Quayle, Tiax, Xzar, Coran, and Safana.

You think that all overweight men should be bald.

You notice a difference between the "Werewolf" and "Werewolf Greater" avatars.

You kill every animal in the game.

You kill every animal you see in real life.

Mice don't exist in your world - only rats.

Whenever someone laughs at you, you challenge them to a duel.

You won't play any game that doesn't give you options on what to say to people.

You know exactly how to prepare dog stew.

Someone pokes you with a stick and you shoot him with a bow.

Your wife's katana set off the airport security alarm.

You don't like the BG and BGII novels because they are "too short" and "loaded with misinformation".

You read all of the dialogue no matter how many times you've played that scene before.

You've broken a speed limit on a scooter trying to get to your multiplayer game in time.

You turn off the "Gore" option because you like to see all of the creature animations.

You think that Grand Theft Auto doesn't have enough action.

You've been arrested for assault with a deadly weapon and were declared not guilty because you apparently didn't know what the big deal was.

You might be addicted to Baldur's Gate if instead of dressing your girlfriend up like a nurse or office secretary for a fantasy, you paint her face powder blue, tell her to wear a blonde wing, and buy her pointed ears.

You might be addicted to Baldur's Gate if you pour your Budweiser in a mug and call it ale.

You might be addicted to Baldur's Gate if you think you can get big muscles by rolling dice instead of lifting weights.

You might be addicted to Baldur's Gate if you think Helm is watching you when you are on the toilet.

You might be addicted to Baldur's Gate if you think real life Samurai used Flails and Axes.

You say "I eat jerks like you for breakfast!" and are taken seriously.

You get intoxicated and decide to sleep it off.

You learned about the birds and bees by reading the Aerie romance dialogue.

Your dad doesn't play BGII but your grandmother does.

You've ever asked someone "Are you a gnome or a halfling? I can't tell."

You are disgusted by the trolls in fantasy movies, like the mountain troll in Harry Potter and the cave troll in The Fellowship of the Ring, not because they are so disgusting, but because they look nothing like "real" trolls.

You pay your respects to your deceased uncle by using a photograph of him as your character portrait.

You've ever multiplayed with your grandma.

You notice the bad scale of Athkatla to the rest of the game areas.

You kill Neeber in a different way every time.

You use Steve Buscemi as your character portrait.

You use Adolf Hitler as a portrait for Yoshimo.

You can remember the names of the two black dragons in the game but can't remember the name of the attractive member of the opposite sex that sits next to you in class.

You never take your Avenger Druid out of his shapeshift.

When you are bored with the game, you keep playing anyway.

You put Haer'Dalis, Jan, and Sarevok in a party together just so you can hear them all say their death dialogue at the same time.

Your medical plan is to not catch a disease.

You right-click on every creature in the game to hear what they say.

Not a single member of your party has a standard character avatar.

You can tell which of Hendrick's chickens has the jewel in it without killing any.

You turn the music in the game off and play a CD while playing, to use as background music.
you go to your local pet store and ask about any war dogs they might have..

your boss wishes to see you and before entering his office, you try to press 'save'..

at the check-out counter of the video rental store, you ask if you can see their "special wares" And pay 50 Gp's in order to do so.....

The only time you remember to eat is when you get that randomly generated "Your characters don’t have to eat but you do" tip from the programmers during the load screen.

Your dog ran away after you tried to make your special dogstew to get the mean Umber-mother-in-law occupied while you ran like hell.

Right before going into an important business meeting or class, you rest up to 24 hours STRAIGHT to regain your strength and mental capabilities...

-You are stuck in traffic and keep reaching for the space bar to unpause the game.

-You stop at crime/accident scenes to see if the victims dropped any good loot.

-When a coworker asks if you would like to go to lunch you consider her alignment before joining.

-You think prices are a bit steep for someone with your reputation.

-You think that answering a fairly short series of questions correctly is what it takes to get laid.

You keep track of the turnip market as well as watch out for griffons when outside.

You send your girlfriend into the front lines of a bar fight, while you hang back and try to 'cast spells'

You refuse to open any door or box that glows.

You wake up in the morning with the words "Wanna take a look at me ditties" echoing through your mind.

If you try to convice hotel employee to drink with you for some gossip

If you try to collect all useless things for hope in creating powerful items.

If you look at peoples height and ears to undestand their race.

If you try to create some sentences about BG2 and life you are totaly addicted.

If Dollar Mark appear meaningless and start to think how to earn GP.

When walking in the street and someone's standing in your way you go all the way 'round the block to get by them...

when your hot girlfriend calls you over for sex you say:"ahemm listen today is not so good.....I have something....something important to do, yeah that's right something important (BGII)"

When someone is being aggressive to you, you calmly state your intent to discuss the matter with them. Then you punch them in the face. Then you re-state your non-violent intention to talk with them. Then you punch them in the face again

In company meetings you search for the dialogue option that will p*ss of your enemies and make them turn aggressive (usually option no.3) so you can get more experience (and possibly fired).

You buy a sandwich at a shop, then steal a second one of exactly the same type before the shopkeeper has time to leave. Why have one Cheese & Onion sarnie when you can have another one exactly the same (even when you are only really hungry enough to eat one and then try SELL IT BACK TO THE SHOPKEEPER, then steal it again, then sell it back, then steal it again......

You often get yourself arrested at the local morgue for trying to loot dead people.

When your friend says she had a good party on the weekend you ask her if she kept Minsc or took Keldorn.

Normally when beginning a fight at the pub you start of with your famous head-butt now instead you go strait for the eyes !!

you eat with a knife in each hand because you spent your proficiency stars on "two-weapon style" instead of "fork"

And you call pubs "taverns" and barmaids "serving wenches". You also have 2 black eyes because of this and your friends don't want to go to 'taverns' with you. Most of the time you do go to the 'tavern' your friends (or "party members" as you call them) are most uncomfortable as you proceed to loot anything that isn't pinned down upstairs and pickpocket the owner and any patrons who look better dressed than the rest of the 'peasants'.

your friend ask you to go out with them for the night and to do so you ask them for 500 gp... "will be paid well far this"

You think Firearms are useless weapons, because they only fire 'normal' bullets.

you are highly disappointed when your pet doesn't steal things for you and talk to you

*you can't comprehend how to use anything without little circular arrows to show you where to touch it

When someone starts a conversation with you, your first words are something like this...

*"I have nothing of value" or
*"Get me out of this hell hole" or
*"Yes!, I'm still here"

You KNOW you're addicted when:

You go to church when you feel sick,
a graveyard when you need money, and
bars and police stations when you need work.

You're really ticked you can't find anything better than studded leather at the clothing stores.

You are a lost cause if:

You can spell "Thaxll'ssillyia" (but u got hooked long before that....)

You deleted all your porn to make room for more savegame files. Or deliberately went out and bought a 200gb hard drive

You have memorized and can recite the actual words for casting each spell.

You actually believe that you will get something good from putting up with people who ask annoying questions the entire time and chase you whereever you go.

You think you're boyfriend is serious when he says he will never ever leave you just before having sex.

You hear a clicking sound everytime before you do something.

you think running around with bodyparts, organs and blood of animals, people and arcane beings is quite normal.

You go to your local hardware store and ask the clerk for a lawnmower +5.

when you are at a funeral and you ask the Priest why doesn’t he cast a "ressurection" spell.

You start carrying a hamster around in you pocket.
Before opening a door to a building or vehicle, you run your hands all over it, then get down on hands and knees and search the floor around it, "checking for traps".

After receiving even a minor injury, such as a paper cut, you immediately curl up on the floor to sleep for 8 hours.

You sleep outside for 6 days straight thinking this is the only way to turn your girlfriend on

When something doesn't go your way you start looking for the reload button (CTRL+L)

You reach for the salt and pepper and say, "Let's give it a good shake and SEE what falls out!"

You carry around a backpack full of broken junk looking for a guy named Cromwell.

As you drive from one computer to the next, A driver cuts in front of you on the freeway, and you cast Breach before you give him the "Finger of Death".

After being cut off in traffic, screaming, "You will suffer! You will ALL suffer!!" while furiously pounding your horn.

When you get into a fight at the local bar:

-You beat him up from the distance with a chair juuuuust in case he could level drain.

-After beaten the living crap out of him you are disappointed that the loot only was a Nokia+2 immune to bitching.

-When fighting five guys you jump on the skinny guy in the back of the pack since he looked most likely to be a mage.

-Join my party has a new meaning to you.

-You accidentally call your father Bhaal.

-you accidentally call your mother a beholder

-You think you can travel to nearby cities in 0 hours

-Whenever a friend leaves the party you always tell them to "Meet us at the Copper Coronet"

-You start getting the dream sequence whenever you rest

-You try to boost your reputation by donating lots of money to temples

-You start robbing merchants and getting caught just because having a high reputation may upset some of your party members

-You accuse someone who is blind to have joined the Unseeing Eye cult

-You believe that you are indeed a child of a god

You tell your boss you can't use the PC because your not proficient with it.
- You're confused that friends don't want to be back in your party after you booted them out because there were already 6 of you and Billy was "just better".

You tell "the catch of the night" that she has to wait just a second longer...you just need to "cast a protection spell" first

When the boss calls you over at work, you reply "What is my task?"

-You reply "I can dance on the head of a pin as well" whenever you are given an assignment

Your most recent girlfriends resemble BG2 characters in some way.

you put "Level 10 Human Software Programmer" on the top of your resume.

you describe things in game terms "I totally rolled a critical when I was bowling the other night."

you talk to everyone you see asking them if they have any Quests.

you ask for a Peasant room at the hotel, unless you are injured. . .

When cornered by a particularly ugly girl in a bar the egress options that run through your mind are:

- Summon some cannon fodder ('friends') to distract her
- Drink a potion ('beer') to make the fight easier
- Have a crack at her but claim 'My weapon has no effect'

Tell your girlfriend: "Yeah, you're a fine looking strumpet."

*you run up and start attacking statues thinking they are golems

*every lock to every door in your house needs a diiferent key

You think the Geo-Dome at Epcot Center in Florida will send you to another plane of existence.

-Your investor's portfolio strategy consists of a paragraph outlining the
towns you have not looted yet to display potential revenue

-someone taps you on the shoulder and you reply with 'boo says, what?'

-you look for mouseprints whenever you wake up.

-you take off your watch before entering a meeting in case it prevents you from casting spells upon your enemies.
When you have a trip out of town you figure you'll need to load another disc
to go there.-you don't want to go into a meeting unless you've been hasted and blessed.

Whenever you go out with friends you warn them that your ultimate goal is to hunt down an evil wizard and/or red dragon and that it could be dangerous.

- You cast "Domination" before asking your boss for a day-off.

- You cast "Feeblemind" before asking your boss for a raise (and "Luck" to yourself)

- Before you enter his/her office you cast "Protection from evil" and "Negative plane protection" to yourself.

- When you want to buy a pet for your girlfriend,you buy her a scroll of "Find Familiar"

- When you have forgotten your car keys,you cast "Knock" (but the damn alarm sounds so next time you should cast "Silence 15' radius" before)

Before going over to your best friend's house, you attempt to cast Protection From Evil on yourself, in case his bitchy girlfriend is there.

If you hunt for animal skins.

If you start to carry holy water for protection.

If cars & busses becomes meaningless and start to walk everywhere.

You consider your musically talented friends "Bards" and expect them to play music when you are in a fight.

You consider stay-sharp knives Daggers +1.

When you are in a pet store you try and find out what each animals special abilities are.

Your friends start calling you "Balders Nerd".

You are given a blue shirt for your birthday, then spend the whole day looking for an "identify" scroll so you can find out what's special about it.

Your alarm starts sounding like "Ah, the child of Baahl has awoken... it is time for more experiments...

Everytime your playing sports, and the teams are unbalanced, you mutter something about nature finding a balance

It's really foggy out, and you think the world was taken over by greater air elementals

A purple light shines gets shined on a wall, and you immediatly search for a secret passage

You find a rock, thinking it is illitihum, then begin searching for a mace so you can make the Mace of Disruption +2

You begin talking to your kitchen utensils thinking they are infused with people like Lilacor

You turn down Brittany Spears when she asks you for a date, saying "Jaheira wouldn't understand".

You look in flower pots hoping to find scrolls and gems.

You buy blue glasses, thinking they'll help you "see things as they truly are"

Every time you see a circus tent, you go in looking for chicks disguised as brutes, and tell any spider you find about their son waiting outside.

You leave stuff on the table in bar... pardon, taverns, since leaving stuff on the floor will result in them dissappearing after 24 hours.

You fearlessly mishandle chemicals in the lab, declaring that you have resistances against fire and acid.

You start keeping bottles in stacks of 5.

You look over everyone you meet, looking for harper pins.

You stay out in the rain, hoping that nature will present you with a cloak.

You use 20 mithril coins to purchase that new pair of running shoes.

You go to the police station, declaring that you wish to apply for entry into the Order of the Sacred Heart.

You search the docks for fat merchants who sell lockets, secret entrances to thief guilds, and harper bases.

You enter the sewers, expecting to find a beholder lair.

You're reading a Sleeping Beauty storybook to your 3-year-old daughter, and at the point where the good fairies give the prince the Shield of Virtue and the Sword of Truth, you think to yourself, "I wonder what the AC and thac0 bonuses are on those

...you're sitting at your desk and begin assigning alignments to your co-workers in order to determine which of them you can kill without losing your Paladin status...

when your driving down the road and you want to "quick save" before going anywhere just in case you get into an accident.

you wake up from your dream, swearing that you have just been attacked by a monster, and your BG2 party didn't try to save you.

A bunch of big rowdy louts are making pests of themselves in your favourite bar, so you retire to just out of their sight and start fumbling for a Cloudkill wand.

You're scared to go to sleep, because you reckon you're due for an "Irenicus nightmare"

An inane nitwit engages you in conversation, and you keep it going instead of telling him to piss off, in the hope you'll eventually get some XP and goodies

At a rave you approach the dodgy geezer by the toilets and ask for Black lotus.
You try to turn off your girlfriends AI at bedtime.

- You are in a hurry to go to the bathroom and before you do the dirty thing you cast a detect invisibility spell just in case there is a assassin in your house and is hided in the shadows .

-You get angered by a guy on a bar and you kick his ass hard and then you cast Friends spell so that he doesn’t sue you when the police comes.

-You are walking alone in the dark and you keep saying were Minsk goes Evil stands aside!

-You are discussing with your friends and they start to insulting each other and you start shouting Shut Up ! But they don’t listen to you then you cast Silence 15th radius so everyone stays cool.

-One of your friends have a disease and you say that you have the solution and you start spelling "BITTA MORTIS KAYA !"


-You are walking in the street and a ugly girl starts calling you names because she is with her boyfriend and you shout a war cry "Nature take the life she gave!"

-You are walking back from school and you are really angry, a bulldog starts to running after you, you cast time stop then you polymorph yourself into a umber Hulk and have a nice meal.

- When you are at a diner, you look at your self to see if you are proficient in chopsticks. And when you realised you are more proficient in two weapon style, you eat the meal with a knife in the main hand and a fork the off-hand.

- In a pub talking to the girls and you always pause for a moment, scanning on the possible lines to use for the romance.

- While travelling, you always look for the "?" hoping the description will appear next to it.

- When I left my keys inside my house, I will either try to pick the lock, and if that doesn't work I will try to bash it open.

- Stopping at a red light now is like waiting for the next scene to load up. While you are waiting, you be checking the car in front of you for any tips/hints for the day.

-your girlfriend begins complaining you are having affair with a blue skinned dark elf.(or elf or a harper)

-advise your friend to retire if his girlfriend/wife complains he always not at home.

-go to the chemist trying to buy potions of intelligence or mind focusing before going to exams.

-give some money to the church and expect discount in the shops.

when playing any other comp game, pressing the space button when attacked

You spend your nights searching in vain for "Drow Porn" on the web.

The most threatening line you can think of before a fight is, "I'll kick you in the head... make you dead."

You write a long and elaborate letter to Nike, outlining your proposal for the development of "boots of speed".

You walk into the women's locker room, thoroughly convinced that your "ring of invisibility" has rendered you undectable.

Before going down on your girlfriend you hear the phrase, "A den of stinking evil! Cover your noseholes.." echo in your head.

You refrain from using a knife when you eat for you feel it violates your Clerical ethos.

You call your sister on the phone and ask her about her fondest memories of Gorion.

...when everything you can say when you're pissed are quotes from Edwin. Or say to your friends at work/school: "Couldn't we have hired some poor fools to do this for us?"

...when you meet a particularly ugly or annoying person, you show him your "holy symbol" (a cell phone or a calculator, for example) and hope that he'll run away.

...when you start to talk and act like Jan Jansen. (this includes telling wild stories about your relatives, like telling your friends that your grandmother had a pet shadow dragon who could roll, play dead and fetch dwarves)

You gather all your remotes in the house and go looking for some guy named cromwel so he can make a remote +1

When you go to sleep you dream of your childhood friend saying "You will come to late" and wake up screaming "IRENICUS!!!"

When you go to the shops you get your friend whose more charasmatic to see if they can get it for a better price.

You put a red piece of plastic over your torch so it looks like infravision when you walk around at night.

When you go to a bar, you order a swig of a strong dwarven ale and expect to hear the latest rumour.

You know how to defeat Kangaxx the demi leech without a protection from magic scroll, bring down firkraag without even breaking a sweat and destroy fields of mindflayers with but a click of the mouse, yet you still cant program the VCR.

When someone say's Thaco, you immediately think ability to hit, rather than a mexican food dish.

You reverse your name so it sounds like it came from the forgotten realms, like Frank become knarf, patrick becomes kcirtap etc etc...

Your closest friends are the people you know on the message boards

if you actually try to carry a little blue bag full of chain mail armor and misc weapons, while wearing full plate armor, weilding three weapons and a shield, a gigantic helmet, and carrying a back pack with 5 potions, 4 quivers of arrows, not to mention the 3 quivers that are equiped at your side, misc armor and weapons, and it all adds up to 500lbs.... Then you try to kick the crap out of 5 bikers, 2 fat guys with shotguns, and a priest...... And the only thing that does not make sence to you is why the priest does not cast any spells

You search through sewers, guarded buildings, and graveyards for lots of impressive goodies. Upon finding some hobo's rags, you proudly proclaim: "Cloak of the Sewers!" and expect to be turned into a mustard jelly.

Upon finding a grave, you look for stakes and then wait for the little sword symbol to appear.

You start muttering some words in the middle of the street really loudly. When you see police rushing at you, you exclaim in anger: "Must I get that stinking license in EVERY city!!!!"

You're teachers gives you a read book to read and you tell him/her you can't read it since you're not an arcane spell caster.

When you check in on what's been happening at the office, you wondered if everyone of your minions had "slow" cast on them by a evil mage.

While watching wrestling you wonder what level barbarians each of them are.

You meet the woman of your dreams, find out she has a cat, and then dump her, because you don't want to spend the rest of your life with a Chaotic Neutral person.

A couple of new workers start at your office, and you introduce yourself by your name, adding "but you simians may refer to me as 'Sir', if you prefer a less syllable intensive workout."

When you are in a tavern, and an ugly girl starts talking to you, you wonder why your Spell Trigger and Contingencies didn't kick in.

You always stick your hand down every toilet/urinal/drain, hoping to come up with a long lost "artifact" of considerable power.

You search through your girlfriends jewelry box after "battle" to see if she has the missing pommel gem you need for your +4"longsword"

You are walking down the street, you hear a couple of cops talking about a missing priest, and you immediately head for the sewers

You are walking through a shopping mall with a floor of large red and white tiles, and you carefully skirt around the "red" tiles

You expect your dumped friends to run after you to make sure you don't want them hanging around anymore, and then agree to wait in place until you decide to return for them.

You pickpocket any chicken you see just incase it happens to have swallowed any rare gems.

When your at the cinema and some idiot is talking in front of you, you grab a handful of red skittles/m&m's and proceed to throw them at the back of the offender's head. When they turn around to face you, assure them that your "magic missiles" was just the start and if they still don't stop talking - wave your mars bar under their nose and assure them if they don't shut up you will smite them with your "wand of fire"

 

Haha, this made me laught

Oh well, five out of... how many? Isn't all that bad me thinks

 

Where did you get that?

 

um im not entirely sure, my brother found it, it was in sevarl threads on different forums somewhere, he made it all into one list. then emailed it to me. He also did the signs you play too much diablo list. http://www.sorcerers.net/ubb/ultimatebb.php?/topic/15/1597.html

[ September 20, 2006, 01:10: Message edited by: Elfen Lied ]

 

-You have a brand-new computer and a stack of fantastic games and you're bummed because the one series of games you can't play, the BG series, screws up your computer.

 

man that sucks, luckily that is not the case with me.

good to see people are checking this thread out, i suppose the length of the first page is a deturent or something, unless people dont want to admit there an addict?

 

What's the addictive-ness part in this one? Every sane people would that

It's not the only one of that kind either.

 

- You write a long, doddering list of things that you think humourously indicate an addiction to BG2.

- You actually read that entire list and found it funny.

 

I read about 5 and quit.

 

That was great. I read the whole list and checked some of them which suited me too. I guess I am a BG2 addict....help me! I am too young too!

 

You sure have some sparetime

 

Some good ones in there.

The first is understandable, the second (as Ofelix said) is totally normal and the third would work.

Addicted? Nah, just means you understand how the game works. Spell Immunity and Berserking are viable alternatives.

What is a demi-leech anyway?

 

I read almost the whole thing. I thought quite a few were funny.