Your opinion please

Remove all ads!

Just thought I'd get your opinion on this situation
A woman we used to know had a child with a sex offender. He had been convicted of indecently exposing himself to two little girls he was stepfather to and she proceeded to get pregnant by him and have a little girl who is now two and a half. As soon as the child was born social services told her that in order to avoid the child going into care they had to live apart, however someone told them that they were living together and social services then proceeded to put both her and the child into a hostel for battered women, for the child's safety as well as her own, as he's a bit of a bully. After quite a long period (think it was almost a year) it was decided that it wasn't right for her to be in this hostel and she was released while the child was put in foster care. Recently she became pregnant again by this man but had a miscarriage, and social services know nothing of this. Now they are 'integrating' the child back into living with the mother, which means that she gets her for a few hours each day then the child is put back into her care under the condition that her and the father don't live together or see each other. So my question is - when she falls pregnant again ( they're trying for another baby) do I tell social services anonymously? She's not meant to be seeing him at all , and obviously if she falls pregnant they have to be seeing each other

 

First of all, the woman wasn't wise when still having children with a man who was obviously sexually perverted and a danger to children.

If he's a bully, apart from being a pervert and sex offender, I believe the social services were in their right. Another question is house ownership issues etc, so that needs to be solved, as well, because she shouldn't really be forced to live in a hostel if she can afford better conditions on her own.

Next, "released" is such a tough word... were they forcing her to live in the hostel? Sounds almost like unlawful imprisonment. If she still has sex with that man and proceeds to have children with him, I believe she's asking for it. She should be more mindful of her children's welfare and it's extremely irresponsible what she's doing. I believe women who insist on living with bullies and sex offenders get what they are asking for. Sorry for bluntness but someone has to say the truth.

If you're thinking about the moral decision to tell or not to tell, no one can really make it for you and I can't tell you what I would do without knowing the people and all. So far as the law is concerned, I don't know if the law requires you to tell or not if you know, but probably not. Besides, if the law is taken to an extreme, things tend to become quite unlawful in the end. However, concerned with the children's welfare, I would probably still tell.

 

Don't tell, stay out of it. Obviously the woman has a severe lack of common sense, so let her get burned, apparently she enjoys it.

 

Chev - I know she's a waste of space who couldn't give a flying F... about her child.
She was unlawfully imprisoned they forced her to live in the hostel and wasn't allowed to leave

Pac Man - And if I don't tell and something happens to that child it'll be my fault

 

I think in this case with the welfare of a child involved social services can only work correctly if they have the full facts; and in this case at the moment they don't. This woman is a danger to herself, any future children with this person she has and most importantly at the moment that little girl sadly in fosterage because of her and to priotect her I would tell them.

 

Shell, you have to make a decision based on your knowledge of the situation. Social Services can be over zealous as well as not careful enough.

My personal feeling is that if a child is endangered it should be reported.

 

Hmm, that's a tough decision here. I must say I agree with Chev, but still, involving the social services is a basket of crabs. They can take the proper measures to sort the situation out... but Nakia is right, they can be overzealous and uncareful. But obviously, in good conscience, it sounds clear to me that, as my dad said, that this woman is a danger to herself, and as well as to her children. The decision is ultimately up to you, Shell... but it strikes me as obvious that her child deserve a better life.

 

Would it be dangerous for you to go to social services in person and demand they should inform you of what steps they take to fix the problem? Perhaps some kind of arrangement that they still keep you informed but they don't tell anyone that it was you who told them?

There is still some possibility that the indecent exposure conviction was a misunderstanding (some people don't cover themselves around the family but I've never known any in person) and the bully thing was mutual, but I wouldn't count on that. Personally, I think the woman has issues and needs treatment and I doubt he's getting or going to get any better.

How badly are the children treated? Would foster care be better for them than living with her? Is it just her messed up head or does she have some reasons to stay with that man?

 

I am honestly starting to think that women like this have to "suit themselves". How ****ing stupid can you be? Their children should be taken from them at birth and they should never get them back ever and then they should be tossed back to the brute and pervert of a man they obviously prefer and suffer the consequences of their own actions.

 

I agree with Pac Man - stay out of it. (As respectfully as I can say it): I don't think this is any of your business, and by your description of what happened with the first child - Social Services sound a bit (vast understatement...) high handed.

If the child comes into actual danger - call the police.

 

Thanks guys. I was 90% decided anyway but I'll tell them if it happens again