A Piece of my Poetry

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Wow, Darien! That's sad, but it is a very good poem. Do you have any others?

Your poem reminded me of a poem I wrote about 4 yrs ago. I don't know why I felt the need to write it, I have no children. I am not saying I think this is better than yours or anything like that. In fact, I think I like yours more. Yours just reminded me of it, so I went and found it so that I could share it.

Shralp--- that was pretty cool.


Comming Out of Innocence

I see her standing there
on the steps of the school.
As I stare at her from
my hiding place,
I wonder if she thinks
of me.
She has my hair and bodily shape,
though she has her father's eyes
and delightful charm.
She is sweet and innocent,
but I know in my heart
that the world will change
her.
I think about it, and it
makes me reflect on the person
I was in my innocence
and the person that I have become.
At that moment she sees
me,
and comes running with
smile upon her face.
I could reflect no more,
for her presence was beside
me,
overwhelmingly so.
I slip into her world then,
and pray she fares as well
in mine.

Just A Note: One of the reasons I started this thread (besides just to see how many other people on the boards had poems and were talented writers) was to get an idea of how good I am. This is more than just a hobby, or something I do in my spare time--- it is a passion for me. All but one of the poems I put up, were written over 3 yrs ago, or longer. Most are from highschool.

I am trying to decide if I might be good enough to get my poems published. The next step I was going to take, after getting opinions from those here at SP, was to try a poetry contests or two.

So, please give me your honest opinions, whether they be good, or bad. Because I sincerely would like to know.

Thanks

[This message has been edited by Satiana Fearbringer (edited October 11, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by Satiana Fearbringer (edited October 11, 2001).]

 

Hey!! You would all make Volo into a verbal noober I am proud.

 

wow are you all skilled or what I personally suck at writing poems but I'd like to share a favourite of mine here:

Over Old Hills
 
The air was neither night or day,
But faintly dark with softest light
When first there glimmered into sight
The Cottage of Lost Play

You and me - we know that land
And often have been there
In The old days, old days..
A dark child and a fair

Was it down the paths of firelight
Dreams  in winter cold and white,
Or in the blue-spun twilight,
twilight hours nevermore..

And why we never found the same
Old cottage, or magic track
That leads between a silver sea,
Between a silver sea..

And those old shores and gardens fair
Where all things are that ever were -
We know not, You and Me
We know not, You and Me..


by Tolkien/Summoning (modified by this awesome austrian metal band)

Satiana your poems are really nice. I especially liked Broken and the Nameless one . But maybe that's just because I'm a pessimistic guy.

[This message has been edited by Invoker (edited October 12, 2001).]

 

Satiana, I like the snapshot in time approach there. I also like the pacing of this one.

That one of yours and a couple of Darien's save up the "point" of the poem for the very end, which leaves the reader with a strong feeling to remember the poem by. I like it.

(Just make sure you never bludgeon your reader over the head with your point or he'll get all woozy and start to think he's Batman.)

Here's a less happy one:

Magenta

An old friend sent me a poem
About sickness, about hurt, about want
I called and we talked and said the things
Friends say when supporting each other
"You're right"
"You're doing well"
"Everything will be better"
"I'm sorry you were raped"
Commonplace, really.

 

I enjoy this topic, somehow people with poetry skills seem to like the Fantasy-scene I was amazed by this and decided also to try to write a poet. I noticed that dutch is kinda hard but writing poets in English for I know the common words but not all less common words. And for I prefer to let all rhyme, that really was a problem. Satriana already saw a small of it (lucky you ). Just tell what you think about it.
I was inspired by a small part of history I wrote about my first D&D character, Haldir, Ranger of the North. It's my first Poem ever, so don't be to hard for me

Heroes are stars

When in the forest grows the shade
immortal land is torn
No one needs to be afraid
another star is born

When things seem dark and deperate
and shadows grow in size
When one star will fall and fade
another star will rise

And when this star is out of sight
and it gets hard to see
There will appear another light
for stars will always be.

A star can never on his own, shine so very bright.
The heroes that have lived and died
together in the sun unite
and stars reflect his light.


(btw, I feel it's not completed somehow)

 

See! I told you that you had it in you! For a first time poem that is really great.
I only have one suggestion, and that is for the very last line. It sounds like, because your talking about all the heroes uniting in the sun, the last line should say their light, not his light.

Other than that. Wow!

 

I already thought about that.... I finally came to the conclusion that there should be invited a new word that means his and their at the same time. I finally chose for his, for when you unite, you make one of of more. The sun is one, and heroes are united there into one. But at the other side, you are also right... It's both possible I'd say.

 

Hmmmm. I see your point. Well either way, I like it a lot.

 

Right, here's some for you guys.... Work of two or three months ago. Untitled.

Dreams for the giving
Dreams for the taking

Dreams for the sleepers
Dreams for the waking

Dreams for the lovers, and for the lonely
Born in the stillness of a moonlit night;
Dreams for the wishers, blindly faithful
Chasing illusions with all their might.

Dreams for the fearful, dreams for the weary
Tired of running and lagging behind;
Dreams for the lost, and dreams for the lonely
Searching but not knowing what to find.

Dreams for the trusting, who are betrayed;
They bet it all on a lucky hand
They lost it all, and felt their fortunes
From under their fingers, turn to sand.

Dreams for the buying, dreams for the selling
Bet at one pence apiece, still cannot be sold;
What can I offer so you'll buy my dream?
And chase it with me through disasters untold.

With your eyes closed, blind-folded, you're taking
Through barren mountains, a route painstaking
Chasing dreams for the sleepers, although you are waking,
Can you please tell me the price of a dream?

Dreams for the giving,
Dreams for the taking

[This message has been edited by Tiamat (edited October 19, 2001).]

 

Ok. I made this yesterday(17th according to my time) in 30 minutes. It's about The Two Towers and it isn't completed... it's only about the first hundred pages of the book.

In the land of Mordor they went
Where they would dearly find their friend.
They was caught and carried off by orcs
Where the 3 sleepless hunters would track them
Up the hills near the forest of Fagorn
The hunters met the Riders of Rohan
Who gave them horses in promise to return them.
They traveled on with the horses and slept the night away.
When the dwarf jumped up and cried out loud
To the stranger in the wood.
The Ranger pondered and said,
‘Alas, he took our horses to flight away from our night’
They walked the rest while
The hobbits were in trouble
For the orcs had made them prize
For their masters Saruman
And Sauron, who was rising up in Mordor.
They traveled far and wide
When they battled Rohan Riders dearly
Where the Riders took their lives and burned them
But in secret the halflings had fled
With only four feet for travel
They came across the forest of Fagorn
Where it became a breathless night.
They came to the steps and met Treebeard,
Who couldn’t rightly place them.
No matter Treebeard took them in
Where they snuggled in the hall
And Explained the quest
leaving out the ring their dear friend carried.
Treebeard thence sent them to bed
Where the next day there would be a council
The gathering of the council was in a dingle,
Where all were different types
But they all spoke Entish and all were Ents.
While the hobbits wondered off towards a well
Where fresh water and springy grass was there
And where the memories of Shire and the voices
Of the companions before they separated came back to them.
Hours later when the sun was behind their west-turned back
Treebeard called them forth
To meet a friend near of Dingle.
The Ent went by the name of Bregalad in elfish
And his home was close at hand for refreshments.

[This message has been edited by Shadow_Goddess (edited October 20, 2001).]

 

Quite good, goddess.... How about summarizing the next book or so of LotR? Anybody planning to respond to mine? I waaaant feeedback..... And I'm in a weird mood.

 

Ha! This poem is one of my assignments for the book report our bi... I mean enlish teacher wants us to do.

 

I'm not much of a poet myself, but sometimes I find poems I really like. This short poem (song) is from 'the Pillars of Earth' by Ken Follett.

A lark caught in the hunter's net
Sang sweeter then than ever
As if the falling melody
Might wing and net dissever

At dusk the hunter took his prey
The lark his freedom never
All birds and men are sure to die
But songs may live forever


This is a short one, which I originally wrote for a competition where you should give a brief description of a monster of your design. Not very good, but I think that I might just as well share it.

The Everwaking Wraith

Dark, icy tendrils reaching for thee
Cold and rotten thy corpse will be
Eternal agony thy soul will see
For fear is me
Death is me
And thou shalt not escape

The ancient wraith doth not sleep
He lurks in the dark when night is deep
He'll devour thee to himself alive keep
And thy beloved shalt weep
Thy soul shalt weep
And thou cannot escape


One of my favourites is Tolkien's 'Over Old Hills', which Invoker posted above. There's a couple of other good ones in 'The Book of Lost Tales', but that's the best. I love it.

 

Here's another, even darker:

THE THINGS I FEAR


The things I fear are right behind me
and they are right ahead
Always there to leap out on me
and incite fear and dread;

Oh, and I could lock away the world,
it could not banish me,
So I look into the mirror daily,
hating what I see....

The things I fear, they haunt me so,
but there is no escape,
Each day I try to run away, they stare me in the face.
I wish I could leap into the sea and be gone without a trace.

I'm scared....

[EDIT]
Shralp: the "and I hate what I see" line has been changed to "hating what I see". Better, or does it still need work? (I know exactly what you mean about the rhythm.)

[This message has been edited by Tiamat (edited October 24, 2001).]

 

Wow! Great work, Tiamat!

Can you add a syllable to the the "what I hate" line? It reads bumpy so short like that.

I like the internal rhymes in the next stanza too.

 

Continued...

The next day, ere noon
The Ents went marching to Isengard
To defeat the treacherous Saruman
So Bregalad rejoined Treebeard
And together the Ents continued till night
Coming back to the Dwarf, Ranger and Elf
They searched some more for hobbit prints
Until Aragorn the Ranger found something
That led the party to Fagorn
Once they got to the steps where the hobbits had been,
An old ragged man leaning on a staff came to them
Very much like the stranger in the forest,
The man led them to a silent rock.
The party thought he was evil and came to attack them
But the man made the Gimli the Dwarf drop his axe
Vanished the arrow Legolas the Elf shot
And made the proud sword of the Man flame.
Then the stranger rose up and said,
‘I am Gandalf, the proud wizard’
The Dwarf rose up and then said,
‘But you wear white and not gray!’
‘Ah it is a long story, but we shall not make haste’
And right there, the old wizened wizard told his story.
Now they got up and traveled through Fagorn and out in the open
When the old wizard stopped and whistled.
Out of nowhere hoof beats were heard
And out in the open Shadowfax, Gandalf’s horse,
And the two horses of the party appeared.
They immediately jumped on the horses and traveled till night
Where Gadalf let them rest for only so many hours.
Up they came again where the traveled fast to the golden hall of Rohan.
There they met with Theoden King of Rohan where they had a council.
Theoden then stood up proud and tall without his staff for many a year.
There they made Wormtongue, the treacherous lord, flee to Isengard.
After a banquet for the ever living wizard and guests,
A thousand and some warriors, all ready for battle rode to Isengard
To battle Saruman for his treachery of all allies.
Night and day they rode
When Gandalf stopped
And told them to meet him
At Helm’s Deep.
The party protested but let him go
Where they saw Gandalf borne by Shadowfax
Into the dying light of twilight.
They then went to Helm’s Deep
And hid themsleves in the towers of stone
They looked back and saw what Gandalf had sopposidly meant
For before them were orcs and wild men
Like swarming ants from Isengard.
They came and faught the Rohan men
But Rohan was triumph for but a time
When fresh armies from Isengard came.
They were on the line of death at dawn
When the armies fled at hearing a horn blow
Up came Gandalf and fresh men for armies.
Gandalf all banished the orcs and they were never to be seen again.

 

Excellent for a book report....

 

You folks are GREAT!

Um... here's mine:

DESPAIR

The sun has fallen in the far horizon
And the gloom has overshadowed me
Tears from my eyes flowed freely on
For my heart is pierced with grief and agony

Here I stand to face the sea
Atop a cliff of jagged stone
Anguish and misery have befriended me
And the cold air seeps through flesh and bone

I gave my heart to the love she brought
My soul I sold to warm her heart
The day she left the wound was wrought
And forever tore my life apart

Sorrow stole away my life
Doubt has cheated me of death
Her face has caused me woe and strife
Her name the sound of every breath

My anguish feeds the driving gale
It comes to greet my withered form
In torment my heart turns deathly pale
And I welcome the coming of the storm

O great winds! Take me in your arms
And drive me to my peaceful crypt
Roar, O storm! Cleanse me of my grief
Let my sadness be forgotten!

She has left me, forsaken and forlorn
In this place of misery, so scared and so alone
She left my heart a relic pierced and scorned
Still I love her deeply…
Now death may take a fury of his own.

 

Wow, eveningdrive! That was..... touching!

 

Yeah... amazing.