A question or two for the ladies...

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That's a good answer, Aldazar. It's a good thing to think about answers after some time - even if it's too late for that particular, it's still an exercise and will help you come up with replies on the spot if need be.

It isn't hazardous. In fact, you could change the "say hi" to "smile"... though perhaps throwing in something about having a little talk and/or a cup of coffee might be too risky - it all depends on the girl, though.

If she said "saw", you could reply "did you like what you saw?", of course with a smile. If she goes like "hey...", you retort "I knew that" after which she blushes all red and hits you And you can always claim it was a joke if it fails totally. This is called Han Solo approach

Perhaps "Hey, that wasn't fair. Next time I want a look too" /grin/. Sounds quite daring, but in fact most single young girls would feel appreciated, or even flattered.

Another joking line could be "you could at least have smiled and made my day brighter", but if you say that too seriously (unless it's so serious it's obvious it's a joke), you're dead and buried. Same for "I feel so important. God sends angels to watch me." They're cheesy but they work when done right. Humour is key here

 

That last does sound very cheesy, but if there's a good chance it'll at least flatter her, I'll keep it in reserve. I just don't want to blow things, and if I'd been quick enough at the time to have said what I only thought of after, that would heave been cool because it probably would have moved things along atraight away. Oh well,

 

If you worry about 'blowing things' often you don't even get a chance. If she's single, strike while the iron is hot, don't fall into the 'friend' stage.

 

It's good to get the friendship going as well, but you must make it easily visible you aren't going to be just a friend.

Cheesy lines are only good with a cheesy smile in a cheesy moment. Then they work great. Normally, they aren't your best choice.

The 26 point list made me feel really sorry for the poor woman who wrote it. She really needs medical aid, if the condition is at all curable. I remain in doubt as to the latter. Perhaps she just needs to grow up finally.

 

Or understand that the "door swings to both ways", like certain someone said. Sadly, it's all too true... Just check THIS thread for examples... (AWFF Forum, full of kids, so don't bother skulking there longer than you have to )

@ Abomination

There are other means of telling you are interested, rather than going after it with a hammer in hand. I think it's better just give a look to her, and if she doesn't grasp it, why bother being ridicilously obvious when she isn't even interested?

"Oh, hi! I just met you and I think I want to see you a lot more! Is that okay with you?" And every woman borns as a ball-buster...

Myself, I would look forward to speaking with her and make it clear that talking with her is interesting, if I were at the opposite side of the table. But whatever; each to their own. I still say it's waste of time.

[ July 27, 2004, 15:51: Message edited by: Wirhe ]

 

I'm not saying not to show restraint. I'm saying not to worry about screwing up. Because if you do you simply won't take any risks. If you don't take a risk... well... "Nothing ventured - nothing gained".

 

The thing I still find kinda funny though is that I don't even know her name yet! I know the ame of the other girl she works with (Jess) because I've heard other people call to her, but not yet found out this girl's name.

Strange thing too is that a few years ago I probably wouldn't have given this girl a second look, I'd most likely have paid more attention to 'Jess' with because she's more like what stereotypes tell us is more physically attractive. On the other hand, Girl X (for want of a better term) seems infinitely more friendly and has that certain something that makes her in fact more attractive. I guess it's a sign that I'm finally 'growing up'.

OMG! Does this mean that puberty will set in soon??

 

"Looks are fleeting, love is eternal"

Sounds to me your on the right track

 

If you tell her your name, politeness will require her to tell you hers. Even if you know that she already knows your name but not from you, it's better to tell her your name this way than to ask her name directly.

Well, looks are one thing. But sometimes... sometimes you feel sparks in the air when you share the lift with someone you see for the first time. Or something's messing your insides when someone's passing you by. That's the chemistry

 

As far as I know, Chev, English decended countries aren't that big on this type of politeness. Previous "Don't talk to strangers - you'll get raped" type messages of the 90s have engraved themselves in many a girl's memory.

 

Well, the problem with finding out her name, even if I tell her mine first, is finding a way to do it without it seeming strange. Considering we've been interacting for some weeks now it would feel strange introducing myself by name now.

Saw her again last night, damn she has a great smile.

 

Ok, try this Aldazar:
Hi, how are you today? You know something funny...(pause and make eye contact; eye contact is very important to a girl) I've been in here several times and we have spoken but in all that time I have never caught your name. My name is Aldazar

When you find out her name make sure you use it in the very next sentence. i.e. Nice to meet you June. Thats a pretty name it suits you.

In a more hilarious note: If you want to find out about a girls faults. Just tell her girlfriends what a wonderful person she is.

 

Thanks DHB, I had actually thought about that approach briefly but for whatever reason that thought didn't stay long in my head. I actually have a lot fo trouble lately keeping thoughts alive and well for long.

Maybe if I remember it next Tuesday or Wednesday when she's working I'll do it.

 

@Abomination: They've been working together for some time, so she would need severe paranoia not to tell Aldazar her name after he told her his. Really.

If she smiles and even starts talking to him, I really doubt she's afraid of him anyhow. Not in this context, anyway.

Of course, it's always good to be cautious, but paranoid is a little bit too much. Though yeah, there are girls who would think telling their name to a stranger gets them raped or something like that.

However, it's very impolite to ask someone's name. Especially if that someone is a lady. Asking someone's name and saying yours first seems a fair exchange, but it isn't tremendously polite, either. Telling your name to someone implies that you want the person to tell you his or her name, but it's not as if you were particularly insistent.

Note: If I, being male, consider it impolite even for a lady to ask my name without first introducing, how would a lady have to feel if a guy asked her name?

Guys typically don't think about that, but it's very, very important.

 

Something I failed to mention Aldazar. I'm sure your an intelligent man and won't do this but I will mention it anyway.

Never wait on a woman in the parking lot where she works to talk to her after work unless she is expecting you to be there. Plus don't ever follow her in your car to see where she lives.

You could be the sweetest guy in the world but this really creeps a woman out. I've had this happen to me a few times and its just plain scary but some men still do it.

 

Yeah, as if they couldn't look it up in the human resources database ;

Stalking is bad. But when you have to do it, and sometimes you do, your disguise can't fail

 

Would never stalk anyone, particularly a lady, even though I do seem to be thinking about her quite a bit lately. TBH, it's getting to the point where rather than taking it slowly, my mind seems to be trying to convince me that I'm in love with this girl even though I really only just know her. Fortunately though, after a long pattern of succumbing to this behaviour I'm able to recognise and ignore the thoughts. It may happen one day but in all seriousness I don't think it has yet.

BTW, we don't actually work together, hence my previous comment:

The waiting in a parking lot I would only do if it was previously arranged that we meet there after she finishes work. Or previously I've done it while in a relationship with a girl who worked in a supermarket and finished late at night, then had to face a walk across a large not-well-lit carpark late at night. But as I said, I was actually IN a relationship with her at the time. And it also helped that I lived basically across the road from the supermarket at the time.

[ July 30, 2004, 05:27: Message edited by: Aldazar ]