About love

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Love.... It can oft be confused as 'lust.' In which case, the person has not truely experienced love. You can also say you 'love' animals, or little Toto or Fluffy, you can say you love walks on the beach.... but they aren't, at the risk of sounding cliche, true love. That is something not everyone experiences... because to experience it you also need to be loved, truely loved, in return. True love is something you can never really understand, and possibly never really feel.

But if you can find something really close that makes you happy and safe for the rest of your life... that's good too.

 

No I tend to disagree here. I feel you do not need to be anything in return in order to love something, and it is your own love that you experience, not theirs.

As was pointed out earlier, love is the giving of yourself freely, A sacrifice with no expectation for returns.

But the thing is, you don't feel the need for anything to be returned. That is Love.

 

My applause to you Manus, I have not heard one speak so eloquently and honestly, in quite some time.

I find it strange that I should even respond to this topic, being that I am about to be divorced from my one true love, and first "everything". However, I feel compeled to do so, even if I cannot explain it.

If there is one thing I have learned in life so far, it is that love cannot conquer everything. If it could, this world and life as most of us know it, would be completely different. So do not be fooled by the romantic fairytales once told to you as a child.

Love, has many faces, and is given or shown, in many different ways. Love, has many different definitions and intrict levels to it, complex enough that most will never know it in its entirety. Most, will only experience pieces of it, over time and in their own way.

Who knows exactly what the definition of love is? Or which version given, is the most correct? I cannot say myself, I can only tell you what I believe is the most true defintion. And that is this:

Love is the most unselfish act known to man kind. It is the giving of ones mind (i.e. the inner most sharing of thoughts and ideas), body (i.e. physical expression), and soul (i.e. emotions) completely and without reservation.

It is kind, gentle, and without an ego.

It is often overwhelming, and most often than not, it goes hand in hand with pain.

It is a burning desire to protect, without thought of oneself, to the point that you would exchange your own life.

It is an unexpressable vulnerability.

It can be beautiful and ugly.

It can fill you with such intense joy and happiness that you did not think was possbile, and it can tear you apart inside until you wished that you would die so as to rid yourself of it.

And for some....it has hurt them more than it has brought them joy and happiness.....and that is why they may say it does not exists....or that they are not capable of giving or recieving it.

That being said, I do believe love exists, and that everyone is capable of giving or recieving it on some level. I believe that knowing true love, is worth any negative that comes with it, and that it is the greatest gift that can ever be bestowed on you, or that you can bestow on someone else.

To be truely and completely loved by another person is, whether it is as a friend, or as a lover, it is the most magical experience one can have. It should never be taken lightly, or for granite.

 

IMO, you want true, real love? Get a dog.

Dogs will love you unconditionally in almost every case except, I guess, for some cases of extreme abuse where it turns to fear.

The only living creatures I have encountered that love unconditionally are dogs.
But maybe I just haven't opened mysel to the right people. I just can't bring myself to risk rejection and abandonment ever since my father walked out on us 23 years or so ago. I rush blindly into relationships that either end up abusive (either way - I emotionally abuse or I get abused one way or another, I NEVER physically abuse though) or when things get good I run screaming the other way.

I still say though, get a dog. Just don't get too attached because one day they may just up and die on you.

** woo hoo! I actually finished a post in one sitting! **

 

Satiana, thank you for sharing. Sorry to hear about you're present anguish. Hang in there.

[ November 03, 2003, 23:17: Message edited by: Hacken Slash ]

 

Love is chemical reactions in your brain... nothing more.

 

IMHO, love needs some reciprocation to survive. Otherwise, it will die on change its nature. Sure, some bits will always remain. With exes it's not that hard to explain. You love memories or you love the persons they were... or appeared to be. Even if you realise that's stupid, it still remains. Even if you don't want to be with the person. Right. For example, I realise there are several female friends of mine, my feelings to whom can't be contained within friendship, not even the almost_sister stuff, and attraction. Works both ways, so I can't use the confident explanation of possible illness on my part. Another confident explanation relying on ex thing won't do, since actually none is a real ex.

However, for some reasons life went as it did and things look as they do. I'm not a hypocrite, I don't bother lying. I still don't have any 'such' plans or even intentions. Nor would I even want to be with any of them and even if something close to a relationship would start, it would rely primarily on friendship. Actually not a bad idea etc, wonder if I won't eventually end up that way (which is taken as granted by all possible spectators and passers by who have some faith in their senses - 'oh how well you're matched, how many YEARS have you been together', 'you're married, aren't you' and that sort of stuff), but there's no such thing here as passion, determination, desperation. It's been described as morbid friendship, but then there's no generic 'that' stuff. More like natural flow of events sprung by less than natural complications of less than normal lives.

What I'm going to say by this, is that what I've just said is likely to happen when you don't start a relationship with the person. You only really get love in a relationship. Exceptions exist but are rare. They're either the rare exceptions that prove the general rule, or they're the true love in which we don't really believe. My personal view is: just a specific flow of events... cause and result, joint outcome of a myriad of situations actually decided on by just a few seconds worth of a moment at one very specific time. While technically perfectly non-accidental, this is perfectly accidental from our point of view.

 

I cried after Titanic. I'd say my sense of "love" is around there, somewhere. It's all those hormones and lust that are intertwined with it that makes people question the structure.

It's amazing how many people in this world cannot bring themselves to accept pleasure, or just don't know how to.

The more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in war?