Another True Story (Bad, Noiresque Fiction)

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Don't worry, you pleased me. It was great. And Extremist as the bouncer is always fun .

/Me gets back to swinging my stick. (The wood you perverts!)

Oh never mind.

[ September 16, 2002, 21:10: Message edited by: Big B ]

 

Don't get me wrong, I love your storys! They rock! Now if only you'd update your other one

 

Thx for making me drunk and not a complete zero . I am past that period of my life. *snicker* *psst* BTA, how about some of that special stash?

 

As Taluntain's door closes behind the offending woman, a figure whose flaming wings light up the darkness of the bar a bit scowls. She points a finger and a jet of flame vaporises the empty shot glasses that were in front of her. Tiamat gives the retreating Taluntain the EvilEyeGlare(tm) and sighs, "Why do I never get to kick them?"

A six-foot figure which was curled up on the couch wrapped up in his blankie and hugging his girlfriend Azir grins, "You don't react fast enough. And you can't even set a proper ban." He throws a dart towards the opposite wall, narrowly missing Wildfire (who said "Heh"), shaving a few cobwebs off Lokken, and embedding itself in a picture of Darien which is already disfigured by multiple puncture marks, taped to the wall.

Tiamat downs another shot and glares at Herf, "Don't DO that! One of these days you're going to hit one of the mutes!" Suddenly she flicks her wrist; IRC commands written in bright green smoke flare (*** Tiamat sets mode +b *!*@=zlxckoeq.aohell.com) and dissappear.

"Would it be that much of a problem if I did?" Herf retorts. "I'm bored..." He snaps his fingers and both he and Wildfire suddenly begin to bounce across the room until they are thrown out the door.

Taluntain's back door quietly opens and a figure moves out, closing it quietly. Spellbound, another redhead of "The Place", moves across the room and claims the bar stool next to the irate op.

"All's well?" Tiamat asks.

Spelly's face is flushed in the halflight of the big neon sign that sais, "Sorcerer's Place". That seems to be answer enough as the two put their heads together and begin conversing in hushed tones, sometimes laughing and sometimes wearing a concerned expression, an occasional giggle breaking through the silence.

Suddenly a loud commotion comes from the other end of the bar. "No more for you!" sais BlackthorneTA's authoritative voice.

"But I've only had 37!" grumbles Avarahtar. "Really, I've had more than that...about a keg, at this party, although at the end I passed out and they couldn't be bothered to take me home, so they left me in my back yard...though they did cover me with leaves, that was considerate of them." He is slurring his words.

Shadow Goddess comes out from the kitchen, wearing an apron and carrying a load of dirty dishes. She whispers in BTA's ear; faintly, her words can be heard, "Just let him pass out...that way he can't go on beating us at trivia. Plus, he has T3! And that's just not faaaaaair!" at the end her voice rises to an almost hysterical note.

"There there," BTA pats Goddess's shoulder. "Know what? After you wash Avarahtar's beer mugs, I think your mother might let you come and chat with us for a while..."

"No she won't," SG replies glumly. As if to emphasize her words, a shrill screech of "GOOOOOOOOODEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!! Come back here and wash the rest of the dishes!" comes from the kitchen.

"Take the beer mugs in," he sighs in reply. "I'll talk to her."

A crash resounds as Shralp clambers onto the table, more than a little drunk, and begins to sing "The Star-Spangled Banner" at the top of his lungs, his voice soaring to screeching heights, completely out of tune. Tiamat glares irately from her spot at the bar as her seventh shot glass cracks, spilling vodka all over the bar.

Jack Funk clambers onto the table behind Shralp. It teeters precariously under the weight of the two men; Shralp's cohort unfurls an American flag and begins waving it hysterically, causing the table to overbalance completely and crash to the ground, sliding Joacqin's table to the left. The Swede sits up irately and sais, in a cross voice, "Stop it Shralp...you DO realize that not everyone here is American, right? It's hardly the great country you think it is...plus, you're deafening me!"

At that moment, Herf walks in, followed closely by Wilfire. Both type in their password to pick up his +o from the computer-guarded glass case near the entrance; the blond states, in a deadpan tone, "I love you guys," and he proceeds to hug random people around the room. Wildfire returns to his seat. He does say "Heh."

As Herf goes around, he ends up hugging deBhaal, who is attempting to draw out his P&P character. His eyes pop and he goes, "You're drawing a D&D character? Stormrider is the truth! Stormrider is the law! Repent and convert, or suffer!". DeBhaal rolls his eyes, and Herf continues on his insane sugar-high hugging spree.

"Who gave him a milkshake..." mutters Azir quietly to Spellbound and Tiamat.

But the SPers have had enough. After the 25th or so hug, they begin getting up, quietly at first and then with increasing panic. Soon everybody is getting up, even the mutes, and running for the exit. The back door with the gold placard that sais "Taluntain - Grand Master" slams open and the red-robed Sorcerer stalks out. His countenance radiates fury.

"WILL EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP!" He gasps at the room. "I'm trying to do a site update here!" Spellbound quietly gets up and places her hand on his arm, trying to calm him down - to no avail. The red-clad hands move, sparks of magic fly from them and arcane words emerge from the Sorcerer's lips. "Silence!" He cries.

Many voices are raised in protest, but no sound emerges. Sighing, people begin finishing up their drinks and moving out....

This is the result of me feeling weird tonight...from three to four AM. I noticed that Yerril didn't mention a lot of people, and felt it bore continuing... Many thanks to Joacqin and Spellbound, who both gave me ideas - Spelly even read it and gave me comments. Yep, without her it'd never have been written

 

Ah the raw humour of this lovely place.

As people rise up to leave, a clatter can be heard from the kitchen, and then a distinct shrill of a young girl's voice, "MOOOOOOOOOOOM! Look, if you soak the dishes, you are welcome to do them!!" A muffled voice follows. Quiet, then... "FINE! I WON'T DO THE DISHES!" Shadow Goddess storms out of the kitchens, slaps her dish towel down on the counter with such fury all the beer cans shake. Her scowl deepens even more when she sees the empty mugs. "Slave labour, I tell you!" She mutters furiously at all who are within hearing distance.
For a second all is quiet, then, people move again, and Shadow Goddess returns to the kitchens, but soon after, everyone could here, "Moom! But you can't - But it's only 11pm! It's not late!"

Shadow Goddess comes out again, except without the apron, dressed in her normal, designer fashioned clothing. Her expression is straight enough, but the purse of her mouth betrays her fiery temper. Breathing deeply, she turns to everyone, shorter than them, yet somehow taller, she stares, and says, "What are you staring at?"

BTA comes up behind her. "Watch your mouth, young lass, or I'll send you back to your mother." SG sighs and slips Avarahtar the dish towel. People move quietly along and SG regains her composure.

Quietly at first, Tiamat giggles, then outright laughs. Soon everyone is laughing at Shadow Goddess, and her eyes gleam with disgust and humour. "Well, so glad another episode of my mother and I has yet again, cracked a bloody smile for everyone..."

(It's 11pm. If it doesn't make much sense, or doesn't seem that funny, you can write your OWN piece.)

 

Cool piece of fiction Yerril, I thought it was funny personally.

 

Strange how some people can get pissed off by a story that is clearly meant to be funny.

I mean i could be very much offended by it as the name Gothmog means a terrible demon somewhere and i was shown as a little child hiding under the desk in the story.

But i'm not

Anyways great story

 

This is about the most darn funny thing I've read in a long time. No offence Joacqin

[ November 04, 2002, 16:34: Message edited by: Nobleman ]

 

I must say that I am disapointed by my appearance Noble, I seem to be a quite dull and not very interesting person there. Not to mention the brief part I got, I asked Tiamat for something controversial and jerklike and I get that nice little thing...aah what do a man need to do to get a proper cariactyre (sp?) done?