Drunk and disorderly conduct

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Are you asking what I said to get there? I wasn't exactly talking at the time.

 

... and here I thought you meant you had woken and found yourself....

 

You missed the joke. Tongue-tied? In a bush? Get it?

 

Yeah I get it now. And no T2, I didn't actually fall asleep there. I was speaking metaphorically.

 

I was 19 and it was my first time drinking liquor. I was invited to a college marching band party and the keg-tax guy couldn't break a 20 yet. To make it up to me, I was given unlimited liquor access. This was definitely a mistake, as I drank quite a bit more than $20 worth of liquor that night. I started slow, drinking an entire bottle of cherry vodka (straight), moved on to a bottle of spiced rum (straight), and finished with a bottle of (100 proof) firewater (straight, of course). I did this in about 2 hours and I drank no water. I, uh, don't remember much after the firewater -- and may or may not have finished the entire bottle. I walked back to my dorm somehow and got in bed, when I got out of bed to go buy some orange juice from the vending machine, I woke up at the hospital. Apparently, I passed out as soon as I stood up and, lucky for me, my roommates (who did not attend the party) were smart enough to call an ambulance. I vaguely remember being carried out of the dorm, and my BAC at the hospital was .31 -- about 4 hours after I stopped drinking and left that party. I'm lucky to be alive.

 

No pants, no underwear... It was really weird. He just had us delete the pictures but it was really, really funny either way.

He probably wasn't as mad because he's a VERY happy drunk.

 

Less than a year after my divorce I was out with some friends at a bar. I was very intoxicated when I got the idea stuck in my head that I wanted to go and have a couple of beers and watch t.v. at *my* house...."my house" being the house my wife kept in the divorce and now lived in with her new boyfriend. It took some time but I finally convinced my friend to drop me off at the house at about 3 a.m. I grabbed the spare key that my ex-wife liked to keep hidden by the side door and let myself in. I grabbed a beer from the fridge and headed to the finished basement to watch television. As a bonus my dogs came from where they were sleeping upstairs and hung out with me while I drank two more beers and chilled.

At some point I decided to leave and for a moment stood outside the house looking at the stars. While standing there the whole sky began to shift and before I could understand what the sky was doing I landed flat on my back (the only time I can ever remember falling over due to nothing but alcohol). Well, I then decided that I was too drunk to walk home so I used the keypad on the garage to open the door grabbed her 10-speed and began the 4 mile ride home. About half way home I had to pee but didn't want to stop...so I didn't. Trying to pee from a moving bike while intoxicated is less than advisable. I ended up head first in a ditch where some unidentified object cut my face.

I made it home and my roommate was still up and curious about all the blood on my face. I told him I fell in a ditch and he said .......uh, do you want to smoke a joint. After finishing a joint with him I proceeded to puke with epic heaves.

What I didn't notice was that at my ex-wife's house I had tracked a large amount of mud through the kitchen, living room, down the stairs and in the family room. My ex called bright and early the next morning asking if I knew anything about the mud. I confessed and then mentioned that I was pretty sure I also had her bike. We didn't speak long, my flippancy concerning the whole matter was apparently very infuriating to her.

 

I'm the camera man when I'm drunk. I don't do stupid or crazy things when I'm drunk...I take pictures of other people doing stupid or crazy things so we can all have a laugh later on. I'm just lucky my camera is water/shock proof...it's not easy being tech in a drunk's hands...

 

haha, yeah, I'm also often the cameraman. I once took pictures of drunk friends putting a live lobster in the artificial pool of a hawaiian style bar. It was real funny until the bouncers came...

Yay for alcohol!

 

Oddly enough, I really don't do anything particularly odd while drunk.
Now then, when I'm sober and it's dark outside is another story; as I reminded about forty other people this weekend when I dropped the towel I had been wearing post skinny-dipping...

 

I am so saving a screenshot of that post

 

I've had to be carried to my parents car where I had been sat down drinking the first time I got drunk, walking was hazardous I was also wearing my bridesmaids dress which has two fine layers of very smooth fabric. One of the guys helping me had a crush on me so was desperate not to embarress me

Second time drunk ended up having a panic attack, getting suicidal thoughts and running away from three friends, dislocating a kneecap, falling over at the side of a main road and ending up waiting three hours for an ambulance

Third time I got drunk I tried to explain the tenth dimension theories by trying to convince everyone present that a wall wasn't really real and could be traversed. I also ended up doing aura readings and making a girl burst into tears when I gave a specific name of someone she knew and that he was using her. This was the first time I had met the girl and I didn't even know the guys name I mentioned! After spin the bottle we were pretty friendly with one another though so it was all good.

Fourth time I was wearing a corset in a club with people dressed as superheroes. Batman threw me onto the floor, shunting my hip. I went back to sit down in my chair, during that evening I almost got dumped twice by my then boyfriend as he got drunk and maudlin and became convinced I didn't love him anymore as the night before was the first time we had been together in two weeks, he got drunk and we had a massive argument in a friends house with a load of his guests round, I could have died of embarressment! Seriously. The argument ended as he fell asleep mid sentence anyway, after getting back to the friends flat from the club (a two minute walk ant two flights of steps) my hip rights itself... or more accurately, it wrongs itself. I'm guessing a disc (though I've had vertabrae misalign before) slipped, I couldn't stand up properly and spent the next half an hour screaming in pain. Other than that it was an awesome night

I'm 20, been a student for two years and have been drunk four times

 

@T2

pure awesome i've got a few similar ones (nothing like the parasailing one though) so i'm just going to list the first one off of my head as "really weird".

while reading James Clavell's "Shogun" (I was still at the beginning when Blackthorne and his men were being tortured), I got BLACKOUT drunk at a beach party with some friends and totally freaked everyone (especially the girls who, apart from a couple, I had just met that night because of common friends) out because I thought I was Blackthorne and was screaming "FREE MY MEN!" and stuff like that

on a related note: while watching the Rome series, for some reason when once again blackout drunk, I logged on to SP and, uh, launched a drunken rant against the conspirators who murdered Julius Caesar. Some of you guys may remember reading it roughly around... March last year. I can usually laugh at myself and would have left the post as it was, but it was just too embarrassing despite the relative anonymity of the internet so I removed it the next day soon as I read Tal's "what were you thinking" e-mail. That was actually the only reason I'dve even seen it probably lol.

@Triactus

I'm inclined to agree with your assessment. 8 times out of 10, I too hide behind "so I have this friend..."

 

This weekend had another good one. Main culprits were a couple shots followed by several games of "wine pong" with beer on the side. Needless to say it wasn't too long until major intoxication took place.

I then tried to convince everybody to go and try and find another reason for this. The actual reason is I wanted to find single girls who I haven't known my whole life. Nobody wanted to come with me, so I just started walking down the street in a city I don't know. After about ten blocks I gave up on finding girls (not that there was any odds of getting one anyway ), sat on the side of the road and took matters into my own hands.

As embarrassing as that is to write... what makes it worse is that I did not remember this the next day. I had texted a friend what I was doing

So, who knows, maybe (hopefully) I was lying.

 

Well, I can only share secondhand stories, as I've never been drunk, since I'm a fairly good little Mormon boy.

However, my second brother is a rebel. He gets drunk a lot. He took a baseball bat to a police car -- while the police were sitting in it! What a clown.

 

you approached a nightwalker?

clown seems... an inadequate word. That is 2 parts crazy, one part scary and one part awesome

 

Yeah, perhaps clown isn't the best word. Another time he was working at a mning camp and some of the guys were giving him a hard time (the severity of which I don't know) but my brother took it to about as serious as it could go by kicking the one fellow in the throat with his steel toed boots. Nearly killed the guy. Needless to say, my brother got fired.

Maybe "disgrace to the family" might be a better term, but in that he's not alone. My oldest brother was stoned one night and brought a hooker to my Dad's place -- that didn't really go over well.

All 4 of my brothers have trouble with alcohol and less legal drugs. I have lots of fun stories from them. I learned from their examples and never got into that sort of silliness.

 

Really? A Hooker? Holy Crap'oly! No offense to your brother LKD, but I laughed long and hard at that one. That realy takes some brass, man.

 

Reminds me of the movie Borat when he gets a hooker at the formal diner...

 

The husband of my wife's cousin drives a beer truck, making deliveries to bars all around my area. We have been getting cases of beer from him for 10 dollars, bottles to boot! Somedays, life is grand....