Favourite quotes...

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"Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky finger"

 

"All bastards are bastards, but some bastards are bastards."-Terry Pratchett

"Excellant!"-Mr Burns

 

From Pratchett as well:

"WE are not on the same side. We are on two different sides that just happen to be side by side."

Ara
(A devout fan of Rincewind and UU in general)

 

You vacuous, toffy-nosed, malodourous, pervert!!!

 

"Do. Or Do Not. There is no try."? Wasn't that: No try not, do or do not, there is now try. Or was the book I did read wrong?


Anyway the best thing ever is:

Why is a raven like a writing desk? Mad hatter in Alice in wonderland! I loved it, both the disnet version and the original!

And of course all the quotes from Sam and max! To name a few:
Sam:"Amazing! We can use the sewer system to travel unhindered to our destination."
Max:"It's a vastly underused avenue of transportation. And look, Sam- baby alligators!"
Sam:"Well, there're bouyant and log-shaped but far from alligators, Max."

Sam:"Well, here we are on a stakeout surrounded by all our favorite foods and tempting the unforgiving demons of fate.
Maxreading the population sign)"Bohunk. Population..... Varies."
Sam:"Curious. What could account for such a bizare fluctuation in the populace? War? Famine? Rampant cannibalsim?
Max: Cannibalism! I vote cannibalism!"

Max:"Where are we, Sam?"
Sam:"In a high-tech command center of sorts. No doubt the work of a criminal mastermind who's seen too many James Bond flicks."
Mack Slamon:"I'll take that as a compliment. We meet again, Freelance Police."
Sam:"Well, if it isn't our slippery old friend and archnemesis, Mack Salmon!"
Maxsotto voce)"How exactly did he get that way, Sam?"
Sam:"Some kind of boating mishap I'm guessing."
Max: "How often to you clean this water?"
Sam:"What's the fake body made out of? Melmac?"
Mack Salmon:"Your casaul indifference cannot save you this time!You are now my prisoners! At long last you shall pay for your part in causing my... condition."
Sam:"Not that we have even the foggiest recollection of what you're talking about, but would it make it all better if we said,'We're sorry?'"

Sam:"Who'd've thought that the inner workings of a Salad Spinner could be modified to drill through 60 miles of sold bedrock?"
The Geek:"It bears out the little-known scientific fact that if you spin something fast enough-"
Sam:"Even our spongy living heads."
The Geek:"It can bore through just about anything!"

Sam:"Lookee there, Max. It's a murderous horde of inner-dwellers."
Max: When there are five or more, the correct term is a 'clot.'"

Morag:"Our one chance at happiness is no more! We are now forever doomed to a life of loneliness and despair- thanks to YOU!"
Sam:"Aw, don't thank us."
Max:"Just doing our job."
Morag:"SEIZE THEM!"
Max:"Hmm. Obviously saving the planet cuts us no slack at all."
Sam:"Let's mull that over during an intense but invigorating fight sequence."

Max:"I never dreamed we could have so much fun and still be suitable for young viewers!"
Sam: "Yes, once again we've stared into the leathery face of Death and his second cousin Dismemberment, and lived to laugh about it. We fell headlong from a moving plane, engaged a murders horde of bloodthirsty savages in an action-packed shoot-'em-up, and learned a valuable life lesson about friendship or something."
Max: "Hey. What about the gratuitous blowing-up of the local filling station?"
(A filling station explodes.)
Max: "Well, I'll be."
Sam: "Our work here is done, Max! Let's head for home."

Elder Monkey: "We thank you. At first we embraced the Monolith as... (to Monkey #2) What did the salesguy call it?"
Monkey #2: "The Dawn of Evolution."
Elder: "Oh, right, yeah. Then it just became annoying."
Monkey #2: But without it, how are we to evolve and wear ill-fitting suits with no shoes for humorous effects?"
Max: "Why would anyone want to wear a suit?"
Monkey #2:"You ever see a chimp's rear end? Gruesome."
(The monkey moons Max- how did this get pass the censors?)
Max: "Enough! Please! Show me no more! I can't take it, I, I... Hey, I can see my face in it!"
Sam: "You know, Chief, you don't need help from cosmic bric-a-brac to evolve. Just use your burgeoning ability for logic and reason."
Max: "And always where these!" (Holds up a pair of rollerskates.)
Elder: "Now you're talking!"

Sam:"Well, here we are in the yawning void of space!"
Max: "Drawn without even a Grade 2 understanding of astonomy!"
Sam: "You can exhale anytime, gang. It's actually darn near safe to breathe now. But remember- if the cabin pressure should suddenly drop-"
Max: "Or if you hear Sam utter the code phrase 'Pull my finger.'"
Sam: "You should don your helmets immediately!"
Teacher: "I'm not sure the School Board would approve of this field trip."
Sam: "Based on my limited knowledge of school board officials being dull, colorless mama's boys, I'd have to agree. You have nothing to fear but fear itself!"
Max: And that big cranky alien cranium headed straight for us."
Sam: Looks like we're working through lunch."
Lactose: "I am Lactose the Intolerant, Custodian of the Cosmos, Caretaker of the Constellations, Sweeper of the Corridors of Time!"
Sam: "Career Day just lives on and on, doesn't it?"

Sam: "Boy. He's become a very productive member of society."
Max: "All it took was a couple of well-placed snips to curb that aggressive streak!"

Repairman: "Ah, the Cool Spot Super 6- dandy little unit. What seems to be the problem?"
The Geek: "Well, for starters, it's possessed by some unearthly presense, it sneaks up behind me a lot, and it doesn't keep my soda cold."
Repairman: "Sounds like a power surge. I'll have her fixed in a jiffy."
The Geek: "Right. That's what the last two repair guys said."

Max: "Oh, those were fun times, he said wistfully."
Sam: "You can say that again, Max. But like all dry spells and peach pits, this too shall pass."
Max: "I sure hope so, Sam. It's been at least five minutes since my last brush with death, and I'm getting light in the head."
Sam: "Try eating a cookie."

The Geek: "Well, Secretary-General, there are no easy answers to the gloal warming problem, but if you're asking my opinion..."

Sam: "I can't believe I shot an innocent vegetable."
Max: "I can't believe I said 'chill.'"

Sam: "I'm just tossing darts in the dark here, but I'd say this whole transdimensional mess is the combined result of you storing toxic oozes in leaky zippy-lock bags in a freezer that's about as neglected as Quasimodo at a Sadie Hawkins dance!"
The Geek: "Could you guys just do something about this, please?"
Sam: "Sure. But do you have any sage, scientific advice to give before we venture into this presumably hostile unknown dimension?"
The Geek: "Well, it's unknown, and presumably hostile- I'd be careful."
Max: "Thanks, Geek!"
Sam: "You're the best!"

Max: "Now there's something you don't see everyday!"
Sam: "That's exactly why I quit my summer job at the petting zoo."

Captured Repairman: "Help! Please help! Finish me! For the love of Mike, JUST DO IT!"
Max: "I guess we could do that."
Sam: "But can't we just rescue you instead?"
Captured Repairman: "Well, all right. That's good too."

Max: "Say yer prayers, Dinner! Or your dinner prayers, or... something."
(The Thing morphs into a basket of kittens.)
Sam: "Gee. I don't know anybody who could firebomb kittens."
Max: "Here, let me."

Sam: "There no time to lose. Our only hope is to activate the outpost's self-destruct sequence and blow the Thing to bits!"
Repairman #1: "Sorry, we don't have an autodestruct."
Max: "Then we'll overload the 'post's environment controls, superheating the nuclear power plant, and..."
Repairman #2: "No, no, no nuclear power plant, either. Just space heaters."
Sam: "Okay, we'll jam a scuba tank into its gaping maw and shoot at it with rifles until-"
Repairman #1: "Scuba tank? Rifles? We have no need for such things."
Max: "We could throw lit matches at it!"
Repairman #3: "Oh yeah- it hates that! Hahahahaa"

They rule!

 

"Only in our dreams are we free, the rest of the time we need wages." pratchett.

 

I'm bored. Right, let's think:

"...no gods anywhere play chess. They haven't got the imagination. Gods prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight To Oblivion; key to the understanding of religion is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs." ~Terry Pratchett, "Wyrd Sisters"

 

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only:Super Bowl."
- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

"The internet is a great way to get on the net."
- Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate

"Don't think you can, know you can" and "Stop trying to hit me and hit me" - Morpheous (The Matrix)

 

"If your friend told to jump of a bridge would you?"

My answer to this is: Well if I jump on a bridge does that count as jumping off a bridge too?