Funniest quotes and answer choices

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Sometime during the game, Imoen makes a confession to Aerie that the Bhaal-essence gives her the urge to get up in the middle of the night and snatch a bag of cinnamon cookies.

Answer option:
"My life has been much easier since I realized that all the Slayer ever wanted was a sandwich..."

 

I loved it when Cespenar finds the Bladesinger chain and says something about smacking your tush. Gotta love that imp.

 

Haer'dalis when entering the Promenade:
"Perhaps we could sell Jaheira?"

Cespenar(about stardagger): "Bhaal had one of these. Used to pick teeth lots. No manners he."

Cespenar: "Cespenar speaks only with the great one. You'se nice, maybe, but you'se still a nobody."

And Minsc(BG1): "Magic is impressive, but now Minsc leads! Swords for everyone!"

But my favourite is the Spectator.
An example:
You: "Hey! Aren't you the same beholder as I killed in the Sahuagin city?"
Spectator: "Heh. Can't keep a good beholder down, eh?"

 

Hindo's DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM...

 

Gotta admit that that "Bondari reloads" scene had me falling off my chair, but my favorite quote is from Jan.
*SPOILER*
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When you finish ToB you see the epilogues for all the NPCs in your party. Jan's is hilarious and after the little story when questioned bout his numerous presences he says "When you have that many monkeys there is nothing you cant do"

 

I like when you summom Minsc to the pocket plane. Never knew Boo was so powerful.

 

when aeriee tells minsc she will be his witch on mine there was a screw up and it said b****. it was great i was rolling on the floor. Then minsc made his speech about finally having a witch and agian it said b****.Imoen hitting on keldorn to cover up her pickpocketing was great to.

 

I can't believe my topic is still on. This is hilarious!!! i started this in july and now it's september ... and there a quite a few noticable resurrections here and there...

 

These are all from SoA, but I thought I'd list them anyway (they aren't direct quotes... I can't remember exactly what was said):

When Minsc hides: "None shall see me... though, my battle cry may give me away" (sounds much funnier when he actually says it).

Jan, when you all arrive in hell after defeating Irenicus: "You know, this reminds me of that time... I remember when... this is just like... I don't think anything like *this* has ever happened to me before.

And then there's the "secret passions of the flesh golem" (or whatever it was called) set of lines between Jan and Keldorn. Apparently the book sells particularly well amongst the Paladin spouse market, and Jan graciously offers to send him a copy (if his wife doesn't already have one).

Oh, and I don't think I'll ever forget the "dont stow thrones in grass houses" joke told in the tavern in Ust Natha.

 

A funny one I just experienced was,

"I don't know how they do things where you come from, but here in Abizigal's Enclave, we work for our Scrolls of Reversal"

-Iycanth the Mad

 

Sorry if someone has already posted this one, but:

Ogrillon: "You mess with me, you mess with you"

 

Um... Argyle... there are no ogrillions in ToB...

 

Shadow Goddess: There are if you summon them

 

Might have already been said, but:

Cespanar (about Erinne sling,)

"Hmmm...What you need sling for? You some kind of wimp?"

 

It's sissy, not wimp, sissy. Sorry for correcting you, but I can't help it.

 

I agree - the only time you'll see ogrillons in ToB (or SoA, for that matter) is if you summon them. Unless you've sworn off using summons altogheter, chances are that at some stage that you'll end up with a pack of them under your control, though. Very good for killing things that have a habit of using Protection from Magical Weapons. Anyway, I'm off topic, so I suppose I'd better throw a quote in here somewhere:

Yoshimo: "Haaaaaiiiiya! (tourists love that stuff)".

 

And then there's Imoen's happy comment in ToB: "Just like old times! Well, except for the torture."

 

...and all" (just to complete Imoen's line in the previous post)

Korgan:
-That's more like it. The first to disobey orders gets an axe in their skulls.

 

It may be childish, but has anyone heared the one which Minsc says after a while when your reputation is getting high, and Minsc says something about that your parties reputation is spreading like "the fragrant cloud from Boo's buttocks after he has eaten too many crackers".

Or when he suddenly says "Things go bump in the night... but none bump bigger than Minsc!!!"

 

My favourite dialogue was when Imoen baits Anomen in ToB:
Imoen: So. You're part of that Order of the Radiant Heart, right, Anomen? The paladins and clerics that run around Amn getting outraged at everything?
Anomen: I find your description bordering on insult, girl...but, yes, I am a member of the Order. Why?
Imoen: Well, a full hundred of them marched all solemn-like up to Candlekeep about ten years ago, all to donate a single book to the monks. Did you know about that?
Anomen: No, but it sounds like something the Order might do, depending on the book.
Imoen: It was a big book, as I recall. I stole into the archive to look at it...did you know it had all sorts of pictures of naked men and women? Total filth! I'm surprised the Order even had something like that.
Anomen: No doubt it was a book of great evil. Perhaps the Order gave it over to the care of your monks so that it would not be used by those of impure intentions.
Imoen: Well, I don't know about that. Winthrop caught me peeking and gave me hell like you won't believe...but I noticed he kept the book in his room after that point.
Anomen: Vile girl! I'll not listen to any more of this! Go bother <CHARNAME>!