Girls?

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GUYS! Here we are trying to help you navigate the minefield of "silly games women think they have to play", and here you are making it worse!

If it's OK for *you* to have sex within the first month or six months without it being something she should dump you for, why on earth would you think it says anything negative about her character that she can't keep her clothes on in your presence? What it says is probably one of the following:
a) She is comfortable with her sexuality and doesn't want to play hard-to-get mindgames to keep you interested
b) She is madly passionate about you
c) All of the above

And you would penalise her for this in favour of someone more frigid?

And then men wonder why they can't find "the One". They DID find her, and they dumped her because she loved them back too intensely...

 

Jet Li was my ideal woman?

 

The advice that I have read has gone from great to shity. Sprite, I find yours the best. I have little luck with girls but theirs something that bothers me. Why do guys want the girls that they date to be super modoles with big breast? I've meet a really sweet girl that isn't a supermidole and I prase her for that. Looks arent every thing I think, but it's their personality. I have really dry hummor but she still laughs so she's nice.

Anyways like I said some of this advice is great others are shity. But hey I'm only a fressman. Some of this is behond my grasp so what about flirting?

 

serious advice then 'rider...

the most crucial element of *guaranteed* successful flirting is EYE CONTACT! -just long enough (a couple of seconds when not in conversation) to make her feel a little embarrassed at the attention, but not long enough to be rude.

good luck!

 

A couple of observations:

If you ask someone out that you don't really know, then generally you're in a win/win situation:

1) You get turned down you've lost nothing, and you can move on without wasting any more time and emotion. You are NOT in love with someone you don't know, infatuated or obsessed perhaps, but not in love. So getting turned down is not a major emotional wrench.
2) You don't get turned down, say no more, just move on to phase 2....

Much more difficult if it's a friend that you have grown to love more than just "as friends" if you like.

I would not advocate applying the asking out in the sense of a date without getting some good signs first. If you hang around together in a group, the key is to get to talk to them on their own with no undercurrent of "date". Natural situations are the order of the day. Things like eye contact across the room, them making an effort to talk to you individually when you're in a group etc ar *good* signs. Get into the habit of doing things together even if it involves other people of the group, coz if you go to the pictures regularly for example, just try to pick a film no-one else wants to go and see. (That applies even of you don't want to see it!) Then just see how it goes.

If you normally spend time on your own as friends, try to do something that could potentially be romantic without making it a "date". In my experience, you can go out for a meal with a friend, so try that as an example. A candle lit mealcan be very nurishing for romance should there be a spark there. If you can't afford to take him/her out, cook them something nice at home. Eye contact accross rooms is still a great sign, catching them looking at you, looking at them etc....

Finally on the friend part though, I would be careful. Can be much harder on the rejection front since it often has an adverse effect on friendships.

I know. Not brilliant, but hopefully some sense in this, somewhere. Good luck.

On keeping them happy once you've got them:

I've been with my current girlfriend for 4 years + now, and it was her 21st on last Thursday. Sent her 21 roses on the day, took her out with her friends at uni, at home, and with her family. (Different days you understand). Also took her to see Wales play rugby (she loves the game and had never been) and for a meal. Took a lot of organising and about 500 miles of driving, but today she wouldn't look twice at Mel Gibson if he asked her out.

I wouldn't advocate doing anything like this on a regular basis. However:

1)Always make them feel wanted, without suffocating them.

2) Make special occasions special.

3) Respect them as individuals, and therefore DO NOT get hung up in previous relationships!!!!! They are not important. Ever.

See easy as 1-2-3. Of course not, but the above goes a long way in my experience.

[This message has been edited by Viking (edited March 04, 2002).]

 

just realised Slith- is asking advice on getting a date related to the fact that you've got blue hands?

 

It was so much easyer for me when i was a teenagewr, i just got drunk and hoped i diddnt wake up with anyone ugly (not the way to go BTW) but seriously listen to what the ladiers are saying, its all good advice, and remember you can always use being shy to your advantage

 

Yeah, being shy is a nice strategy. Never say a word but stay around. Girls with a neurosis on helping will think your not like the other guys but better. Your thoughts must be deeper and so on. With this strategy you won't even have to buy flowers.

 

To be fair, Oblate, you never *have* to buy flowers for a girl. Thing is, if you do it sparingly, but at the right time........ Robert's your fathers brother!

 

The advantage of taking flowers on a first date is that it can be the tiebreaker if she isn't entirely sure at the end of the evening that she wants to keep seeing you. She'll go home and call her eight best friends to help her decide. Together, they will verbally dissect what you wore and everything you said (including facial expression and your tone of voice) and as an afterthought say, "oh- and he brought me flowers!". At this point all her friends will instantly be on your side- "oh my GOD! that's too sweet! You HAVE to keep seeing this guy or give me his phone number!"

[Edit: lest I seem too idealistic, I must add that my first date with Gnolyn Lochbreaker was to a baseball game, and instead of flowers he got me a beer. I married him anyway. ]

[This message has been edited by Sprite (edited March 11, 2002).]

 

Ok, here is the thing. There is no guide book on dating and there are no set rules of what to do or what not to do. Why?....Cause everyone is different. (obviously)

So, here is my advice. The best thing you can do is be yourself. You don't want people to think that you are someone that you aren't. This is a very important thing to remember, cause I have known people who do all the romantic stuff and pull out all the stops when they first started to date someone. But, that wasn't really their style, so it eventually stopped completely and the they ended up having problems because the other person claimed that they weren't who they thought. It was a big let down and an eye opener. BE YOURSELF! That way, you never let the other person in the relationship down.

Go with your gut feeling. Be attentive to what she says and her body language if you can. She will tell you want she wants thru either body language or just by saying so.
And if both of these fail, just ask her. Most likely she will be honest with you.

The first date should be the kind where you can talk and get to know each other a little bit. A time where you can ask questions of each other to find out your likes and dislikes ect.... This will make the second date much easier, cause you will have some idea of what she would like to do.

As the for the first date, be creative and make sure it shows your style. If she doesn't like your style, or the kinds of things you like to do, then she probably won't be happy with you in the long run.

Open communication and honesty are the key components of good dates and great relationships.