God, could they ever make Drizzt films from the books?

Remove all ads!

ooh, ooh, ooh, I wanna be evil please god

Anyway, I remembered some more examples:

In his review of Rescuers 2 Roger Ebert was bitching that the villan had darker skin than anyone else

I've heard several people say that Jar-Jar represents a stereotype Jamaican (?!)

There was quite a popular essay (by a female movie critic, but I can't remember her name) that Disney hates Cats and Women - either they're villans or inept. When kind people kindly pointedout that Lion King is about cats she replied that only the villan looked like a cat and that the rest of the Lions look like dogs(!)

A disney film "Song of the South" is banned in America for depicting slavery in the south. Now this does have some merit, but at the same time Gone with the Wind is probably worse at this (I remember one scene where liberated slaves are rude, while all the decent ones stayed on to work for Scarlett)

 

the aristocats were all ?

 

Yup she had an answer for that as well: the aristocats weren't an important film.

 

Hmm... I agree with the idea of making a trilogy of Homeland, Exile and Sojourn. But I consider Wulfgar (and Regis, but that's a bit tough) to be too important a character to be left out, so here's what I propose.

*Be advised: The following is a clustered stream of conciousness, so don't expect any high-class literature or anything *

The first movie would be about Homeland and Exile, ending in his first sunset-/rise on the surface as a free man. Or possibly he could arrive to the surface when it is already winter, and end to the day he finally wakes up knowing the end of the world didn't come after all, and is free to roam the world while basking in the warm sun or something.

Here is where we run into problems however. Since more than 3 movies would be overkill (and not realistic by far), it would be nearly impossible to make a story as long in time as in the novels. So the contents of the books would have to be altered and re-interpreted somehow. I'd get R.A.Salvatore himself to do this of course since he's still alive and well (last I heard at least, hope no change has come to that).

So the second part should include his meeting with the blind ranger and becoming a ranger himself (as I think this is something essential), as well as running into Bruenor and Catti-Brie. Possibly even Wulfgar/& Regis should show up in this (it's not fair if the Regis fans are left without him). If possible, one could try to implement the Chrystal Shard into this one. Probably advisable since that's how Wulfgar came about (uhh... did he? christ, how can my memory fail me in this). Meaning, Catti-Brie would have to be a fully grown young woman at this point already. And Wulfgar would have to switch to the companions' side without working years under Bruenor's tutolage.

Then the third. If the Chrystal Shard was not included in the previous part, then it should be in this one. This would be the grand finale. Meaning huge battles. The drows (the Chrystal Shard could appear in this one as well since it would add more point and feeling to the story) allying themselves with the demonlord Errtú (for gaining the Chrystal Shard and through that the entire world) attacking the surfacers through the area of Icewind Dale. The barbarians, villagers of tentowns and the Dwarves would unite to fight against them. This should somehow include Drizzt's return to his homeworld once more, and dramatically finding out about this Whilst his companions in the surface would find out about the demon (again referring to the possible 2:nd movie) and its possible return to attack once more. Fierce battles would ensue as Drizzt escapes with Catti-Brie from the underdark leaving matron Baenre's temple of Lloth destroyed, the drow armies would march to the surface as Drizzt arrives just in time to join with his companions who've already gathered the peoples of Icewind Dale together in this last battle for all life on earth.

Ending... let's hope it's a happy one. At least this would offer a fairly open ending adding to the books marketing since the story goes ever on in those. Just that Artemis Entreri would be nice to see as well.

[This message has been edited by Forashi (edited May 22, 2002).]

 

This is all very well, but if the Drizzt books (or whatever) were made into a film, then who would play Drizzt????

Perhaps the guy that plays Elrond in The Fellowship of the Ring, or are his eyes too far apart?

 

I'd say Forashi has a good idea. Couple changes I'd make, though...

1) First movie would be the first two books of the Dark Elf trilogy, ending with Drizzt's emergence into the sunlight.

2) Second movie would start out with Drizzt in his cave during the winter, maybe with a voice-over narration of his thoughts. Then it cuts to Ten Towns, as everyone preparing for the barbarian assault. We return to Drizzt as winter ends and he sets out, only to fight a buncha orcs and stuff (don't quite remember what happens), and then, while he and the blind ranger are walking away, we return to Icewind Dale and meet Bruenor and Catti-Brie, and learn about Regis (who'd have been in the first Ten Towns council scene).

Next up...not sure how the pacing would work best. At roughly the same time in the movie, the barbarians would attack Ten Towns, and Wulfgar would be captured as a youth. Then we return to Drizzt, as he studies for several years to become a ranger, learning about the ways of the forest. Back to the Battlehammer clan, were we learn that Bruenor adopted Wulfgar, and has been raising him and teaching him the dwarven ways. And either before or after the next cut to Drizzt, he'd have to be shown forging Aegis Fang (probably after, or maybe halfway through).

Then, back to Drizzt for the battle at the grove, in which the blind ranger dude would be mortally wounded (don't remember if that's what happens in the book, but for pacing purposes, it'd have to happen ). Heartbroken, Drizzt stays at the grove for awhile, during a voice-over monologue about not feeling at home there, and then sets out in search of a place to belong.

Now, here's where we leave the whole damned series behind.

Whatsisface, the evil wizard dude from the Icewind Dale trilogy, is introduced. He goes through his novelized intro, ending with the discovery of the Crystal Shard. Insane with power, he heads deeper into the Dale and founds his crystal tower.

Back to Drizzt, as he wanders the lonely road, his hood pulled tight around his face. As he wanders, he learns of the Icewind Dale, and travels north to the Ten Towns.

Back in the Sword Coast North, the evil wizard dude summons Errtu and hypnotizes an army. Back in the Towns, people are starting to realize that something's amiss, but don't really act on it.

Hrm...here begins the complete free writing. Finally, Drizzt reaches Icewind Dale, and as he heads along the road, he's met by a small patrol of Ten Towns troops who are investigating the reports of an enemy. Due to some mishap, Drizzt's hood comes loose, revealing to all that he's a Drow. Before they can kill him, though, Catti-Brie (who's leading the patrol with Bruenor, Wulfgar, and a very unhappy Regis) stops them and convinces them to give our hero a chance (which'd downplay the general Faerunian distrust for dark elves, but to cram this into 2.5-3 hours, it's necessary). Introductions are made all around, and Drizzt is brought back to the Towns, albeit under heavy guard.

Then, it continues like the rest of the Icewind Dale trilogy, albeit extremely condensed. Now that I think of it, Icingdeath (the dragon) couldn't really fit into the movie, so Icingdeath (the scimitar) would have to be a gift from...arrrgh, you know, whatsisface. The blind ranger. And I'm not entirely sure where/when he finds Twinkle...that might hafta be a gift, too

Finally, everything I've described would have to take place within an hour to an hour and a half. And while the entire plot of the novels would be rearranged...it'd be worth it all to see Drizzt battling Errtu on Bruenor's Climb

3) Erm...my idea well's run dry. Artemis would have to get a LOT of film time, to emphasize both his role as Drizzt's antithesis, and his complete and utter badassness. And I have no idea how Jarlaxle could properly fit in. Meh.

Maybe they could just go Harry Potter and make 5 movies instead of 3