How to tell if a girl likes you...

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@Baezlebub.

This is a bit off topic, but the tale you told about your friend is an old story (Samson and Delila style old). I am guessing, but;

Your friend is using this girl for sex.
If the girl leaves him, he is afraid he will get no more sex.
He thinks that if he marries the girl, she will not leave, and he will have a gauranteed source of sex.

Nothing anyone says or does will get him away from this girl, he is her thrall. She can do anything she likes to him and still he will never permanently walk away from her, as long as she is providing sex.

She can also do anything she likes to your pal's friends and relatives , and still he will never permanently walk away from her, as long as she is providing sex.

Your friend's attitude is born out of pure selfishness. He is like a dog that is eating from a pile of garbage, and which would bite the hand that feeds it rather than allow that garbage to be thrown out.

If your pal marries this girl she will systematicaly gouge every member of your pal's circle of friends and family for every cent that she can (they won't all know her at this stage) before alienating your pal from all those who had in the past supported him. Your pal will at no point raise a finger to stop this happening, as long as he is getting sex (and the money appears to be flowing in the direction of the 'his and hers' joint bank account).

You have to make it clear to your friend than if he makes the girl a permanent part of his life then you will no longer be able to be his friend, for reasons of guilt by association, you do not want to be seen to be supporting what is to come.

I hope for your friend's sake that the above doesn't come to pass, but I (not-so-secretly) believe that your friend will reap what he is sowing.

Trying to lure your friend away from this girl is like trying to distract an alcoholic with a glass of shandy. When your back is turned they go straight back to the hard stuff.

Remember, it is your friend's selfishness that is driving his life towards this train wreck, and he is enjoying every minute of the ride. Since it is his life you can criticise the situation as you see it, but you must not interfer. Use the 'If he died next week, what should I have done' test to inform your actions.

Just don't be on board when the track runs out.

Please forgive the metaphors. I think I read on these boards somewhere that the last piece of advice you should give anyone considering marriage is to never sign a contract with someone you sleep with. Sound advice, in my estimation.

[ August 30, 2003, 01:46: Message edited by: Bluin ]

 

Reading all this reminds me how glad (read: ecstatically happy) I am that I'm no longer a teenager.

Lots of people have gone through a lot of effort to help out, but the way I see it (and I've been around a while longer than a lot of people here) is that there are about as many ways for a woman to indicate her interest in a man, as there are women in the world.

Just remember: There are two kinds of women in the world: those who stay, and those who play. Players should be dumped as soon as possible; they have nothing you need. Stayers, on the other hand, you should stick with for the duration. Talk (and sex) is cheap, but loyalty is harder to come by. It's something you pay for. In installments. Forever. (And I'm not talking about money here.) And you know it's worth it when she's still around in ten years' time.

 

@Eze: before speaking that way about anything I think you should live the experience in first person.
So, have YOU ever been in love with somebody?

 

Of course she is. That's why she wrote that.

 

Sometimes, Aragorn. Sometimes. And it's not worth it.

I didn't mean my infatuation or desire after certain LOTR actors.

 

Sad to hear it.
It's totally worth it, IMHO.

 

Unfulfilled love is certainly not worth it. Believe me, I am the expert on this.
But there is a knack: Just do not let it come to this, if you can help it. Next time, lower your expectations, Eze. It helps a lot if it does not work out. The lady I spoke of earlier has got a boyfriend, so she turned me down on friday. Today, I am almost over it. I almost knew that this would happen and repeated it to me over and over again.
And look, I did not behave like a complete idiot this time.

Edit: Lower your expectations? This sounds a lot like MADTV. Frightening thought.

 

Nah. I'll just get over it. Even if it hurts.

I may be a sucker, but not that big of a sucker.

 

*Hands out new lightsaber batteries to Eze*

Don't worry, kiddo. You're only 13(14?). Plenty of time yet.

As for the topic, as long as they don't smite me as an infidel/heretic, I think I'm doing pretty well.

Seriously, I can't give more points than what has already been stated. So good luck, gentlemen, with the enigmatic other half of the human race.

 

Dag yo..

Check it out - check it out. I should start "How do you tell if the girl you like, already likes someone else.. I mean already has a boyfriend.. err I mean already is engaged to be married here in two weeks but doesn't wear an engagement ring?" thread.

I tell yah, I'll still pass her by every day at work thinking.. hmm.. If only I would've started work here earlier so I may have met her before little wonderboy here.

 

I always reckoned that the best and safest way was to do nothing and expect the ladies to come to you. That happily lead me to my first serious relations at the age of 22. But hey! Better late than never, and atleast I never demeaned myself by asking some arrogant wench out!

 

Late eh? Boy would I have a few stories to tell you then.

 

Attention: Just want to thank you all again, she has been taking me home after school the past couple of days and I'm going to her house tomorrow for dinner at 6:30. Then I will invite her to my house saturday.(My parents are gone for two weeks, so just me and her!)

 

lol have fun

 

Congrats

Now, I must add a bit of bithing: When a guy DOESN'T take the hint that girl likes him, things suck.

 

@Arabwell: Your are right. I'm the expert on this. Usually I get it when it's to late.
An advise: Just tell him. Women can make the first step, too.

 

If she accepts your invitation on Saturday, try not to get your expectations built up beyond reality. Also, make sure that you mention that you'll have the house to yourselves as part of the invitation. She may not like being "ambushed".

 

Auch, that hurt. She's very right on this issue. And I mean very.

Two things that struck my sick mind while reading the latest contributions:

#1 Don't lower your expectations so far as relationships are concerned. Hanging out is one thing, relationship is different. You may lower your expectations for hanging out purposes, without the possibility of further relationship. But you will have to tell this to people if you do and bear that. Your choice

#2 If she likes you... But it's not so simple. She might 'like' you, she might also like you but still not let you do things or she might just like you and still let you do things (this also happens). Sounds suicidal, but ask her. Personally, I prefer one heavy 50 of bludgeon damage to 10 rounds of 5 per round bleeding damage. And quite often it's like 20 rounds of 10 per round poison damage. You know what I mean, don't you?

[ September 06, 2003, 17:40: Message edited by: chevalier ]

 

Chev, I might have chosen the wrong formulation.

Ask her, all right. But if you have the expectation that she will say 'Yes' and she says 'No' actually, then it will hurt very much. If you say to yourself: "Nah, this won't work. But asking does no harm," then it will hurt less.

 

No offense, but from my understanding of all my friends they want the guy to make the first move.

There are different types of girls...
a) The preppies who always know what he is doing and where he is and all the information. They will usually giggle and act like ditzes around him, but usually they will tell him.
b) The "normal" people. These girls are considerably more shy (me) and dont have the guts to say much. They will usually try to talk to you and find out your e-mail from people who know it and communicate that way. Personal is much harder for these people.
c) The people who dont care. They will talk to you and maybe tell you they like you. Sometimes you can't even tell.

d) The Universal Signs ( edit: there are some exceptions):
1. Talks to you alot
2. Giggles around you
3. Watches you